Friday, August 04, 2006

Let's Talk about Relationships and Sex: Interview with Hitched Magazine

I had an interview with Hitched magazine (Hitched Media, Inc), http://hitchedmag.com/, a new publishing company delivering service and lifestyle information to married couples.

Py Kim Conant Author of "Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man" is anything but submissive. BY APRIL Y. PENNINGTON

Notable: Come October 28th, Py, 43, will definitely raise eyebrows, skirts and men's libidos with her decidedly un-PC book, Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man (pre-orders available on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com). Culling the practices of the Japanese geisha and the Korean equivalent, kisaeng, Korea-born Py attempts to teach American women the ways of the alluring Asian Geisha. Py's tips and suggestions will surely spark some lively conversation between you and your spouse.

[1] Some may perceive the contents of your book as training women to be submissive to men. Aren't you reinforcing Asian female stereotypes? It's only submissive in that you're giving into the reality that men are visual animals with fragile egos. If you want to keep a relationship with a man, you have to give him what he wants. You have to go with the flow. Women need to only accept the stereotypes that are helpful or useful. If Asian women are perceived as nice, what's wrong with that? Men approach you easily because of the stereotype. But the notion that Asian women are submissive, passive and materialistic, we just reject that.

[2] Why is it so important for married women to place their "beauty and sexy femininity" a continuing priority in their relationship? Men don't want their women to change. They want their women to be the same as when they first got married. They want beauty, sexy femininity and a hot sexy relationship to keep the marriage invigorated. If your husband wants and desires you, that's good. If you're fat and gain weight, it's bad.

[3] Isn't it hard enough to live up to this ideal of perfection with supermodels and the genetically blessed? You say we should all be at our perfect weight yet you're largely against plastic surgery. I emphasize in my book to look classy and natural. Plastic is not a natural look. We as women want to keep the best weight, that's when you're comfortable with your weight and proud of yourself. When you gain weight you get depressed and it affects your marriage. So sex is not good because you feel big and don't want to take off the clothes and have sex anymore.

It's a lie when men say they don't care if the woman gains 50 pounds; we don't want to hear the truth. When we ask if our butt looks big, we already know that it is, we just want to hear our husbands say no! Men don't want to get in trouble by telling the truth.

[4] Why should women always credit their man for their orgasms, even when a vibrator's in play? Men want to feel great, it's ego boosting to do so. He wants to take the credit, even if you got the orgasm with the vibrator. He needs to feel masculine and regard the vibrator as a friend and not an enemy.

[5] You say women should be enthusiastically available to their man whenever he wants sex, but aren't we allowed to not feel in the mood? We're not sex machines, there's no button they can press to instantly make us ready. And there will be many times where we don't want to do it, but there's a way to talk to him. Say "I'd love to have sex with you," but then say what's holding you back, like "I have a migraine," or whatever, but be truthful. Then tell him, "Can we have sex later," or set a date in the near future. Finish by asking him if that's okay. That way it's his decision, not your decision and he doesn't feel like he's being pushed away by you. He will say "yes." Then since he waited for you, give him an extra treat like wearing a new thong panty--crotchless, silky--something that's an incredible treat and is visual.

[6] The vast majority of your book covers what women should do in attracting, pleasing and keeping a man. What are a few things men should be doing for women? A husband should appreciate what their women can do for them, instead of taking them for granted. A woman should be treated like a queen, since she's treating him like a king. Because we women need to hear it, tell her you love her and she's beautiful, all the time. Tell her she's the nicest woman in the world. You have to be sincere. You have to be totally, physically and emotionally faithful to your wife and not fucking around with other women. He has to please her sexually, enthusiastically and show her she's special. Be nice to her and always listen to your wife--making her happy is a big part. And always keep your word.

[7] Those are some good tips for men, why don't you focus on that equally? Maybe my second book will be what a man can do for a woman! But husbands should read this book too. You'll see how to make a woman ejaculate and how to be sexually involved.

http://hitchedmag.com/article.php?id=42

About the Author
Py Kim Conant, Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, Hunter House, October 28, 2006. Looking for relationship, dating and sex tips? Visit Py's website at www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com