Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Male Impotence Myths

by Chris Morrow

Hippocrates, the father of medicine, said: "There are in fact two things, science and opinion; the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance". Those words still ring true today.

Many of the myths and legends about impotence, borne out of ignorance thousands of years ago, still influence our sexual culture. Primitive cultures believed that male virility was intricately interwoven with power, wealth and domination.

So it's not surprising that beliefs still persist in a number of cultures that to lack virility, or worse still, to be impotent, is to lack the very essence of life. Manhood and the "ability to perform" are inextricably linked, so impotence is viewed as a "lack of manhood".

Despite the fact that the twentieth century brought about radical changes in gender roles, on ethnic, economic, social and cultural levels, sexuality and impotence are still shrouded in mystery, secrecy and a good deal of confusion.

Myth #1 - "Real men" don't experience impotence

ALL men over the age of 30 experience impotence as least once in their lifetime. It's estimated that over 150 million men worldwide have impotence; in fact, reports suggest this figure could be as high as 300 million or more. Estimating the numbers is difficult because less than 2 men in 10 seek treatment for impotence problems.

Impotence (or erectile dysfunction) is defined as the inability to produce and maintain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse. Impotence is not considered to include lack of libido, inability to ejaculate or achieve orgasm, a lack of strength or the loss of "manhood".

Myth #2 - Impotence is "all in the mind"

Less than 20% of impotence cases have a primary psychological cause. The majority of men with impotence have an underlying physical condition such as diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure or prostate cancer. Stress, anxiety and loss of self-esteem are often secondary psychological factors that occur if the impotence remains undiagnosed and untreated.

Myth #3 - Impotence is a natural part of growing old

Although it's evident that the chances of experiencing impotence increase with age, this is largely due to the increased risk of having an underlying physical condition such as diabetes, high blood pressure or heart disease. To compound this factor, a number of medications prescribed for these conditions can cause impotence.

Myth #4 - There is no "cure" for impotence

Although medical science hasn't come up with a permanent "cure" for impotence, a number of very effective therapies are available. Oral medications such as Viagra have revolutionized the treatment of impotence, however impotence pills don't work for everyone. Other safe and effective treatments include vacuum pumps, injections and penile implants.

Once the impotence is effectively treated, most men go on to lead active, satisfying sex lives.

Myth #5 - Impotence is a man's problem

Both partners in a relationship can experience problems when impotence goes untreated. Often failure to communicate and denial of the problem lead to depression, anxiety, and lack of self-esteem for both partners. A tendency to avoid sexual contact can often leave the partner feeling unloved, unattractive and unwanted.

Myth #6 - Impotence is too embarrassing to discuss with anyone

A number of men find it very difficult to discuss any problems they may be experiencing, particularly impotence. Impotence can often be the symptom of an underlying medical condition and won't simply "go away" if it remains untreated.

Once the condition is diagnosed, suitable treatment can begin immediately and the problem can usually be alleviated.

Myth #7 - Men should know all about sex

The general consensus of opinion is that men instinctively know how to have sex. But clinical studies confirm that impotence can result from lack of knowledge and ignorance about the "mechanics" of sex.

A common misconception is that sex is a simple and straightforward process for men. Not true. Many men find it difficult to discuss the subject, and asking questions would reveal their ignorance and lack of knowledge and possibly threaten their masculinity. Media images of the virile male in action only serve to further alienate those men who don't understand "the basics".

Talking to a specialist counselor or therapist will quickly clear up any misconceptions and help overcome problems due to lack of knowledge.

Myth #8 - Men always want sex

The myth that men are always "ready, willing and able" is simply not true. The commonly held misconception of the "dominant male" has been proven to damage the sexual, physical and psychological wellbeing of a number of men.

A recent Swedish study on sexuality and marriage carried out on 286 couples of varying ages found that men who perceived themselves to be the "dominant male" were more likely to experience temporary impotence if sex was requested by their partner, when they weren't in the mood.

Healthy relationships should be about equal partnerships, good communication and respect for the feelings of both individuals. It's not uncommon for one partner to want more frequent sexual activity, and sexual desires can fluctuate between partners and at various times. Discussing these issues reasonably and rationally so that each partner understands the needs of the other helps maintain a happy and healthy sexual relationship.

For more information about impotence, male sexuality, female sexual dysfunction, and many other topics related to impotence and sexuality, please visit

Chris Morrow is a human behavioral consultant who works in the area of human sexuality and sexual health.

Chris is co-author of, a comprehensive and educational website about all facets
of male impotence and sexuality.

Monday, July 10, 2006

How Sexuality Has Come To Determine Love and Relationships

Nowadays is very common that sexuality determines the direction where love and relationships are heading. By the time a couple join together they immediately want to fulfill desire.

When sexuality, loneliness, and other selfish feelings play a part in the start up of a relationship, it is very probable that the couple may last together only for a short time, and problems will occur. The problems will stem from habits, words, actions, etc.

These recent years the estimated divorce rate has reached numbers higher than ever. This has motivated the changing of a number of laws, with the focus of reducing divorces while making couples think. In Michigan, the couple must attend marriage counseling before marriage licenses are obtainable and must take STD tests. The Sexual Transmitted Disease test is a measure of protection for the couple, while the counseling session is to determine the purpose of marriage.

Love is more than what many realize. Selfish motivations only break up relationships, since the purpose is to fulfill a want or burning desire. Thus, to obtain a long-lasting relationship elements of love need to fall into place and be in the mind of the couple joining in relationships.

Reviewing the different forms of love can help you to appreciate how it works. When a mother disciplines a child for running into the streets, the mother is dishing out tough love to protect the child from harm. When a father alerts the family that problems are causing harm to the arrangement of marriage, thus instigates an open conversation to resolve the problems. The father is illustrating tough love in an effort to make his commitment stand firm.

Problem solving willingness is rarely in relationships today. When troubles mount up couples often decide separation and/or divorce is the way out. Troubles stemming from financial burdens, adulterous relationships, lack of consideration for the other, and so forth often lead to “I cannot take this anymore,” and one or the other walks out the door. We can see that this type of relationship started out with desire in mind, since long-suffering is non-existing. If the couple started out on solid grounds, when the problems creep in, they would have come to a more productive agreement. Of course, when adultery is the problem we know the person committing the act is merely acting out on his/her desire, thus considering separation and/or divorce is logical.

Abusive relationships would never start in some instances if the mate took the time to investigate the partner's background and take the time to become acquainted with the mate before permitted sexual intimacy.

Thus, setting standards from the onset of any relationship can help you prevent finding love and relationship that leads to the road of separation and/or divorce. When you set standards you are making a statement, thus never letting your standards go below your beliefs is part of the solution to creating a long-lasting relationship.

Today, sexuality plays a large part in love and relationship. Sexuality is part of the elements that makes the relationship work, however it is not the ultimate ingredient to make love last. Thus, giving sexuality its correct place can help you find true love as long as you never forget about all the other ingredients that together build a love that lasts.

Nathan Young is an expert author in a number of health themes affecting both men and women. If you or someone near you suffers from Premature Ejaculation problems you should know that this is a curable condition