Thursday, December 21, 2006

How to Attract Women: Seven Great Ways to Flirt with Women

Girls are more inclined to give off, and notice, body signals than guys, and are ALWAYS looking for signs from us guys, as well. Guys ask me what we men should do for body language, so this column will give you the answers.

You have to remember that whatever you say, however you gesture your hands, arms, head, and eyes, women are NOT taking your movements at face value. If she jokes with you and you lightly push her away as if to say "Stop", she's taking that simple gesture as something more: interest, dis-interest, enjoyment, annoyance?any of a million different signals. She's reading it for further suggestions as to what kind of guy you are, and what your interest in her is. Know that with body language, girls are always reading the way you move and act!

Here are my "Lucky Seven" best ways to show interest:

The confident eye gaze
The "Dale Head Drop"
Open body language
Lean in to her
Thumbs in belt
Touch her

Let's look at each in more detail:

1. The confident eye gaze

This is how you start your interest. Nothing shows confidence off the bat like meeting a girl's eyes, and KEEPING YOUR STARE. If you see her look down and smile, you know you've made it and the time to approach is now. If she looks away from you but doesn't smile, give her a shot nonetheless; just the fact that she met your eyes for a second or two shows interest.

2. The Dale Head Drop

So named after the guy who mastered the art of getting women rushing to his side, just with a simple shrug! If you really want to blow away a girl?and show some balls?meet a girl's eyes, then knowingly drop your head to the side, as if to say, "Hey, you know you want me. Come over here and get me!" I've found this to work incredibly well in foreign countries. In the States, the girls tend to be able to see through it a bit more?but it still works!

3. Smile!

It's often overlooked, but nothing communicates happiness, confidence, and interest in a girl all in one like a nice big smile. Show the girl you're in control, show her you're confident, show her you're a fun guy to be around: brighten the place up with a big smile! And if your teeth need work, then get them fixed! It's good not just for your chances of meeting a girl, but also for your health and appearance!

4. Open Body Language

So many guys walk or sit with their arms crossed, their legs close together, and their faces anxious and flat. Stop that! Welcome a girl into your world: Have your arms open and leaned back, your legs open and relaxed, your face warm and inviting. You'll not only attract yourself into a girl's world, but also into the world of people at a party, club, or bar who can help you meet a future girlfriend?or even wife!

5. Lean in to her

As you're talking to a girl, especially while seated, show her your interest with confidence by leaning in closer. You don't want to be a creep, of course, but you can generally tell by a girl's body language and talk how interested she is in you. If things are looking good, show her your control of the situation?and interest in her?by leaning in and generally getting closer to her. Leaning back does the opposite; it shows you're unconfident and not overly interested. Not what you want to communicate.

6. Thumbs in belt

Ever put your thumbs in your belt, with your hands at your hips' side? This is processed as a sign of being confident in one's sexuality and size. So if you're standing around at a bar or club and want to convey confidence, this will certainly be understood by girls!

7. Touch her!

Yup, nothing gets you closer to a girl than physical touch. Great conversations and emotional/spiritual chemistry are great, but if you really want to take it to the next level, you'll have to eventually show some balls and touch her. I'm not talking about grabbing her and making out (unless it really is going that well and she's flirting out of control!), but doing little things: brushing your arm by her shoulders, lightly massaging her, leading her by the arm to another location in the place. By making a physical connection, you're giving her a sign loud and clear that you're confident in yourself and interested in her.


James Brito, author of How to Be Irresistible to Women, regularly explores topics of female attraction. Since 2000, he has helped thousands of men around the world-wide build confidence and get the women they deserve. To get James' FREE six-part "How to Attract Women" audio mini-course, go to:

Rejuvenating Sex And Health Naturally

Our physical and psychological makeup is influenced by the sexual imperative far more than most of us realize or wish to admit. Entire systems of psychoanalytical therapy (e.g. Freud) are based upon the premise that we are primarily sexual creatures.

Behaviorally, there is little doubt that there are dramatic differences between the sexes. This can be seen even in the earliest of years. (This is so in spite of vigilant efforts by "rights" groups to blur distinctions and to declare sexual equality by legal fiat.) Girls with dolls and boys with trucks and guns manifest with no coaching from parents, and reflect the natural nurturing tendencies of girls versus the more aggressive and protecting inclination of boys. Physically the primary and secondary sexual characteristics are obviously different. These features, in fact, attract the opposite sex and prepare each sex for reproduction, caregiving and protection for the young.

But sex is not just about recreation or procreation. It can directly impact health. For example, the risk of breast cancer is directly linked to childbearing and nursing in women ? having children and nursing them for extended periods of time decreases the number of ovulations a woman has and thus decreases the pro-cancerous estrogen surges. Other research has demonstrated that fulfilling sexual activity in women is also linked to health.

A man's sense of strength, perception of attractiveness to women, feelings of being loved and depended upon, financial success, respect, and feeling accepted are all intricately tied to sexuality. Male sexual self-worth goes hand-in-hand with physical and mental health.

Who primarily commits violent crime in society? Is it not young men in the heyday of their testosterone surge? Sexuality and health at their peak create the potential for either great accomplishment or great harm depending upon how these energies are focused.

On the other hand, when male hormone levels start to ebb in later years, health decline parallels this downturn. Men experience loss of muscle mass, lowered energy levels, decreased immunity, increased susceptibility to a variety of degenerative diseases, decreased libido and fertility, and various degrees of impotence. Sensing this decline, men can feel hopeless, worthless and at the end of life. Such feelings further fuel the downward health spiral often resulting in an early death.

The importance of sexuality in men is evidenced by polls showing that men would sooner risk serious life-threatening side effects than forego the possibility that a new drug (e.g. Viagra?) might rejuvenate them sexually. Being sexually alive even in the very oldest of men may be as important as life itself.

Although male hormone levels decrease with age, the slope of the curve can be dramatically altered. It will not, however, be just a matter of taking a pill. Supplemental male hormones are available but their use disrupts the body's natural balances and can cause negative feedback inhibition. When this occurs, exogenous hormones (pills) send a signal to hormone-producing tissues that hormone levels are high enough. Endogenous (from the body itself) production therefore slows. Over time this can weaken hormone-producing tissues so that the initial problem of inadequate production is compounded. This is at least part of the mechanism for the adverse effects of anabolic (male hormone-like) steroids taken by athletes and bodybuilders. Young men eager to exaggerate muscularity end up with withered and weakened testicles and other endocrine glands setting them up for serious diseases as they get older.

A better alternative is to make healthy lifestyle changes (suggested in the Optimal Health Program?) combined with natural nutritional supplementation, which has been proven to provide benefit to many.

Androgenic phytonutrients from herbs (such as Tribulus terrestris, Muira puama, Avena sativa and nettle leaf), amino acids (including L-arginine) and certain foods such as melons naturally increase testosterone production without the danger of negative feedback inhibition as experienced with anabolic steroids and other hormones. Increased testosterone levels, in turn, increase libido, act as an aphrodisiac and help prevent impotence. (In fact, modern research has revealed that testosterone is the only substance capable of generating libido in both men and women.)

Recent studies suggest that these phytonutrients also affect brain chemicals such that potency and erectile capacity are improved and male reproductive system growth, function, and repair is enhanced.

Phytonutrients can also improve sexual function through inhibiting the binding of sex hormone-binding globulin to its receptor site on prostatic membranes. This provides relief to benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) sufferers who often experience painful intercourse, a certain impediment to sexuality.

Other nutrients such as zinc, vitamin B12 and vitamin C directly stimulate sperm production and motility and thus increase fertility. Modern, processed, food fraction-based dietary fare can be woefully deficient in these nutrients. Selecting good supplements and converting the diet to more natural, fresh and varied foods is the solution.

Lifestyle changes (outlined in the Optimal Health Program?) ? not the least of which is maintaining healthy body weight and regularly exercising ? when combined with proper nutrition can rejuvenate the entire body and with that send a signal to the sexual core of our biological being that we are alive and well. Such signals stimulate a natural invigoration of sexuality, and with that mental and physical health.

Dr. Wysong is a former veterinary clinician and surgeon, college instructor in human anatomy, physiology and the origin of life, inventor of numerous medical, surgical, nutritional, athletic and fitness products and devices, research director for the present company by his name and founder of the philanthropic Wysong Institute. He is author of The Creation-Evolution Controversy now in its eleventh printing, a new two volume set on philosophy for living entitled Thinking Matters: 1-Living Life... As If Thinking Matters

7 Tricks for Lasting Longer in Bed. A Crash Course in Sexual Stamina

My extensive experiences with tantric yoga, ancient sexuality practices, and contemporary western therapeutic paradigms have exposed me to many 'tricks-of-the-trade' when it comes to coming.

In this article I'll attempt to distill some of this simple but powerful wisdom. Hopefully men seeking to improve their sexual stamina, or even just to educate themselves sexually, can begin to use this as a roadmap for their quest. And a very worthy quest it is too, (speaking as a woman).

If there is one thing I cannot resist it is a man who is dedicated to learning more about his body and sexuality in general.

I know I speak for a lot of other women when I say that the most important quality in a lover is a commitment to improving the quality of his, and his partner's, sexual experiences.


1. Relax and increase your body awareness

There are very many techniques out there to help you relax and be more able to 'feel' your body. As a yoga practitioner I have experience with very many powerful relaxation, meditation and breathing techniques.

Perhaps the simplest one is just paying attention to your breathing during sex. Not controlling it, just noticing it.

Masters and Johnson also developed a technique known as "sensate focus exercises" which I use extensively in my practice as sexual surrogate therapist and sex 'coach'.

2. Focus on pleasure in sex, rather than sexual performance.

Let go of any expectations about the outcome of sex. Going into a sexual experience with a 'plan' robs you of any ability to be open minded.

You cannot learn from sex if you are focused on how it should look.

Instead, notice the pleasure as it is happening. The pleasure will show you what is good. It is the ultimate teacher when it comes to sex.

3. Increase awareness of your sexual arousal.

Again, open your awareness to your feelings of pleasure and pay close attention to your arousal levels. Awareness is the first step to understanding; which is itself a step towards mastery.

Focus on your pleasure during sex, during masturbation, or even the subtle pleasure you experience when a gorgeous woman gets on the bus.

4. Extend your sexual arousal to higher levels.

There are many techniques you can learn to extend your pleasure. As you become more aware of your sexual arousal a natural increase in your arousal level is inevitable.

This will happen because you will become familiar and comfortable with your pleasure, and your body will propel you to greater heights naturally.

Be sure to practice sex and pleasure often, so your body can keep teaching you.

5. Master your sexual arousal consistently at higher levels.

As your sexual pleasure naturally increases with more practice, you will begin to 'play' with it.

Manipulate your breathing patterns, sexual energy field and subtle internal sensations, to the point that you can begin to feel mastery over them.

Again, ancient wisdom, sex manuals and other people's experiences are full of eye opening possibilities.

6. Become accustomed to a steady level of intense arousal.

Get into the habit of building your sexual pleasure and indulging in it fully. Let the moments you feel pleasure expand.

Let the arousal continue as if it didn't need to end ever. It will of course, but you don't care when ... just let it happen.

7. Stop thinking

Drop your conscious mind out of the picture. Investigate or experiment with techniques to get your internal dialogue to shut up.

Experience all of this intense and joyous pleasure, not in your head, not by thinking about it ... but in your body. Feel it!

THE KEY is connecting more deeply to your own sensations and feelings.

Here's a bonus tricky tip for you. It's also the most important one.

8. Remember your own commitment to learn and grow.. . it all comes back to you.

By the way, if some of these tricks seem to be a bit of a tease it's because they are. Each one could be the subject of several very in depth articles or sexuality workshops.

I want you to take the time to ponder these tricks and look further. I wish you well on your adventures and I wish you very much pleasure.

Mukee Okan is a world renowned sexual therapist and spiritual guide. She is based in Phoenix and keeps herself busy running workshops and sessions in Europe, North America, Asia, Australia and New Zealand.
Visit to download free audio files or purchase her e-book on overcoming premature ejaculation.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Your Erection – Understand It & Control It

An obvious physical change in a man’s body part, the erection is not as simple as it may appear.

If you can understand your erection, you can control it as well.

Your erection is an important part of your personal life, so understanding what and how things happen to your penis is crucial to getting more from your sex life.

How Erection Happens – What Is the Erection?

Erection of the penis happens as the two tubular structures that run the length of the penis (called the corpora cavernosa) suddenly become engorged with venous blood.

This can be the result of any number of stimuli.

Located just below the corpora cavernosa is the corpus spongiosum.

This is a single tube containing the urethra. Here passes both men’s urine and semen during urination and ejaculation. Therefore, the erection results in swelling and enlargement of the penis enabling men’s sexual activities.

Stated simply, as the blood flows into the penis, it stiffens.

Both its girth and length increase, and the penis rises to an angle from 15 degrees to sometimes over 90 degrees.

The Stages of Erection Leading to Ejaculation

Stage1 – The Excitement Phase

This begins with vasocongestion (accumulations of blood in the pelvic area). This is dependent on sexual stimulation.

Here the diameter of the urethra doubles. The scrotum moves towards the body, and both heart rate and blood pressure increase. There is a pronounced muscular tension throughout the body.

Stage 2 – The Plateau

The penis is now hard, and has risen to an angle. It has increased in both girth and length. The testes have increased 50% of their normal size, and are closer to the body.

The heart is beating faster, and is now at about 100 to 150 beats per minute. Muscular tension throughout the body has now increased.

Stage 3 – The Orgasmic Phase

Just before the orgasmic phase begins, there is a pronounced enlargement of the penis and a further hardening condition.

This will be accompanied by a very familiar internal sensation that the orgasm is arriving. This is technically called “ejaculatory inevitability”.

It cannot be stopped (unless you can move back to Stage 2). Just after you sense this, the man will ejaculate.

It is notable that orgasm and ejaculation are not the same event, and can occur separately. There are great physiochemical changes in the man’s body causing what is known as the orgasmic reaction.

Stage 4 – The Resolution

Just after ejaculation, the man’s body starts to return to its normal un-excited state.
The penis loses about 50% of its erection at once, and in less than 5 minutes, it is its normal size.

However, it can take many hours for a man to actually return to his normal state.

This is why sleep often follows ejaculation and orgasm.

After the erection, orgasm and ejaculation, a man moves into something called the refracatory period. During this phase they usually cannot be re-stimulatied (unless this period is very very short in duration).

Understanding your erection lets you control it. For example, as you see yourself moving into stage 3, slow down, step yourself back to stage 2.

In this way you can prolong your sexual experience and more, prolong your partner’s sexual experience.

Sacha Tarkovsky. MORE FREE INFO On all aspects of how to get more from sex and relationships and eveerything to do with sexuality visit our website for a huge resource of articles, features and downloads and at