Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Remember that pleasuring yourself is not about how many times you come to an orgasm. Or even whether you orgasm at all. It's about pleasing yourself, making you feel good like no one else can. While orgasms are great. they real just indicate the highest point of pleasure during sexual arousal. There are many, many points in between that are immensely pleasurable. There is nothing wrong with you if you do not have an orgasm. Concentrate on how good you can make yourself feel. Generally over time, you will learn what and where feels best and how to bring yourself to orgasm. But don't let that be the focus of masturbation, just enjoy the feelings.
Try arranging some alone time. Go some where you won't be bothered. Make sure you have some time available to you so you can relax and enjoy yourself.. If you can, lock the door so you won't be disturbed, if not make sure you request that this time be your alone time. Having a family can make alone time hard to get, try requesting bath time once per week. This will be your alone time to relax and get away from the every day stresses. If you're new to pleasuring yourself, or just looking to get more out of it try creating some ambience. Bring a cassette or cd player with you to listen to soft music. Purchase a few scented candles. The fragrance lavender is known for it's relaxation properties. Then relax and enjoy your time alone with yourself. Enjoy the soft music, and the scent and glow of the candles. Don't rush, start off slow and easy. You know where to touch to make you feel good, don't be embarrassed, just go with it.
About the Author: Marie Clare specializes in writing about Dating, Relationships and Romance. Check out her lastest Best Selling eBook "the Ultimate Online Dating Handbook" plus reviews of the Best Online Dating Sites, FREE Articles, Tips and Advice at http://www.lifematesnow.com
Monday, November 28, 2005
• Buy ‘Dirty Dice’ or make your own
• You need a pair of dice for this game. Bigger is better
• Either print out the words below, cut them up and tape them onto the dice; or, use two different size/colored dice (use 1 for numbers, 1 for letters). Letters are:
1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F
1. Kiss A. Neck
2. Lick B. Legs
3. Bite C. Stomach
4. Suck D. Feet
5. Caress E. Chest or breasts
6. Variety F. Naughty parts
Now we’re ready for some amorous fun. Take turns rolling the dice. Follow the action on the dice. (Example: 3. Bite, A. Neck) Perform the action on that part of your lover’s body. Variation: put a blindfold on before your lover rolls the dice each time—surprises are a good thing.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
There is a very good reason why these are the most common complaints – men and women are very different when it comes to sex!
The biological sexual drive, or lack of it, relates to how much testosterone is present. Men biologically have much more testosterone than women. Men’s biology equips them to be ready for sex most of the time, which is nature’s way of ensuring the survival of the species. Women, on the other hand, often do not experience a biological sexual drive unless they are in the middle of their menstrual cycle. This fact can create a big problem in relationships.
I’ve often heard men complain that:
“It’s not fair. My wife is in control of our sex life. If she wants it, then we have it. If she doesn’t, then I have no say about it. Why does it always have to be her way?”
“My wife complains that she needs to feel intimate before we make love, but I get to intimacy through making love.”
“I don’t reach out for sex much anymore because I’m tired of being rejected, but my wife says she wants to be pursued in a romantic way. This feels like a no-win to me.”
“I think if my wife really cared about me and my needs, she would have sex with me even when she wasn’t turned on.”
I’ve often heard women complain that:
“He always seems to be ready for sex, but I don’t feel turned on unless we are feeling close. I can’t just watch TV all evening and then feel like making love.”
“I often feel pulled on for sex, as if having sex is more important than caring about me. When I do what he wants, I feel used, and when I don’t, I run into his anger, resentment, blame or withdrawal. It feels like a no-win.”
“My husband often comes to me like a needy little boy, wanting me to pacify him or validate him with sex. Ugh! There is nothing erotic about an insecure, needy little boy!”
“There must be something wrong with me. I just don’t ever feel turned on anymore.”
The very real issue here, at least for most men under 40, is that they are biologically motivated and women are mostly emotionally motivated. Heterosexual women get turned on when their man is warm, open, caring, and personally powerful. Most women are not turned on by a man who is closed, distant, angry, blaming, or needy.
The problems of frequency can get resolved as men and women learn to understand and accept each other’s differences. Men need to understand and accept that women are not as biologically motivated as men are. Many women rarely even think about sex, while most men will tell you that they think about sex frequently throughout the day. When men understand that women are turned on by love, romance, emotional intimacy, warmth, caring, and personal power, then men may be motivated to learn to be the loving, powerful and romantic partners that women want and need.
When women can accept that men’s biology is very present for them, they can stop putting men down for it and start supporting their men in creating more emotional intimacy, romance, and personal power. When women criticize men instead of understanding and accepting them, they help to create some of the insecurity that is such a turn off to many women. When a woman can appreciate rather than demean her man for his sexuality, she can find ways of meeting his needs without feeling used.
Understanding and accepting each other’s differences and needs can lead both men and women toward more satisfying sex lives.
About the Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You” and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Is there something wrong with a woman that has not experienced an
These are a couple of questions that I have been getting asked more and more, so I thought why not address them through my articles? As much as I have written this for my ladies, men you can benefit from reading this little bit of info also!
There is nothing physically wrong with women that have not experienced the big O! They simply just have not learned how. It is very much a mental exercise as well as physical. Way back when..., we were taught that it was a bad thing to touch ourselves (masturbate). That was a big wrong turn for a lot of women. I have read a lot of letters from women that tell me that they were in their late 20`s before they ever experienced an orgasm, one that they would consider an orgasm anyway.
This is why I express over and over, ladies learn about YOUR BODY! Orgasms are very connected to ones mind when dealing with the female. If you are worried or tired or feeling a bit at odds with your partner, that door is definitely going to be locked, even nailed shut. It will take some work and patience to find the key to open up that mind trap.
Too many women spend way too much time worrying about orgasms. Worry only puts up the walls that will totally disable your mind to relax and float. Think of watching and waiting for water to boil. By the time it has boiled you have lost interest. Or when you are trying to call someone and the line is forever busy, that just frustrates you to no end. If you would have just carried on with something else at the time, the water would have boiled before you knew it, the phone line would be cleared, and you would be frustration free! Orgasms work in very much the same way. Do not think about them. Do prepare for them, feel your body call them, desire them, fantasize, open your mind up to a total zone of passion. Pure thoughtless passion!
Some women feel that if they do not orgasm, their partner will feel that they have failed them, or vice verse. (GUILT) There is absolutely no room for guilt or shyness in the arena of sex! This is one of the reasons women FAKE the O! It does not do any real physical harm to fake most things in life. The only one that is losing out though, is you. You are fooling no one but yourself. Then you end up feeling even worse because you pretended at a time when you should be open and real.
There is also the time thing. Women are in need of more stimulation and time to relax and be able to find their zone. Men tend to think that five minutes is just super...NOT...so ladies this is where communication comes into play. You must tell your man that NO, I am not there yet. I know this sounds bossy, but most men hardly ever have a problem telling the women what to do in bed and when to not stop. Also ladies please tell your man to do like the yellow pages commercial, "Let your fingers do the walking". Women like and need the finger play. Also ladies if your man is just down there asap...tell him to slow down. This can also throw women off when they are feeling rushed.
When you are close to your partner and feel that sex is in the air, enjoy even just the kiss at first. I mean really enjoy just the kiss. Allow your body to warm up and get your juices flowing. Or really feel his touches, and listen to your partners voice when he says your name. If he never says your name, tell him too. He will oblige immediately. Tell him you want to hear him admire your body. A women on the norm has a hard time verbalizing what she likes. This is just because we were raised to be nice girls. Well, TALK! You will be surprised at how much more relaxed you become and excited once you can talk to your partner about touching where and how. Tell your partner to join you in that little game. A women's body will react very nicely if you just allow the feelings of a kiss to penetrate you.
Another turn on for you ladies is to touch yourself while your partner watches. Yes, you will love it once you allow him into your world. He will not say no to that request. To see or hear how excited he gets watching you enjoying your body is another very big turn on for you.
This is also a very good way to keep your mind away from the, "will I or won`t I" question. Think of anything but the ultimate O! G-spot orgasms are pretty easy to reach. We can get there as easy as men have the ability to get hard. To get there just tell your man to do the, "walking". Or take his hand and guide him down to where your body is wanting his touch. G-Spot orgasms feel nice and they are basically our juice fountain, that is when we get very wet. This is when your body prepares for penetration.
It is the clitoral Orgasm that most women are after. Those ones will shake your ground. But again, these are mind connected. I will say I am speaking for the norm of women. Every women is different to a degree, but we are basically after the same thing. We all want to feel that intense vibration and the total body rush that runs through our body. It is an adrenaline rush like no other. To know we have that kind of control in our minds and bodies also boosts our self-esteem! That my Ladies is a very good thing!
Some women are sensitive enough that they will react instantly to a touch. That is not always that good. Her orgasm at that point will be quick and over before she even gets to really appreciate it. The longer it takes to reach that ,"O" Zone, the more intense the orgasm. That is another reason you want to learn to control your body. Eventually you will be able to tell your mind when and where!
A very, very good way to learn about your body is to bring yourself to orgasm. I tell women that all the time. You need to know and be able to connect with your own mind before you can allow someone to do it for you. Once you can learn to control your minds ability to fantasize or totally zone out, your body will follow naturally. Ladies again, it is so important to learn this because it keeps your mind off whether or not the O is going to happen. Once you have learned about your body, you will be able to bring that O on yourself just with your mind. A little hand stimulation is also your minds best friend here. You will know how much stimulation you will need at the time. You will eventually know your entire body`s secret passages to feeling. Yes! Very yummy. So my words here, are to get to know your secrets. and HAVE FUN!
Remember Ladies, men are not born with your road map to orgasm. First you need to draw it for him. Then show it to him. From there it is totally the big," O" every time. This is my recipe to the one thing that women can do over and over again, without a rest period. Ha!! Sorry guys, we were born that way.
Laughter and Orgasms are Great Bedfellows John Callahan
When modern woman discovered the orgasm, it was combined with modern birth control, perhaps the biggest single nail in the coffin of male dominance. Eva Figes
Dorothy Lafrinere Owner/Operator Website - WomensSelfEsteem.com
Friday, November 18, 2005
As long as it still feels good for both of you, what's the point of stopping? There is often a "pyramid effect" with multiple G-spot orgasms; each one makes the next one feel better, and makes almost anything else sexual feel better too. However, as I said earlier everybody is a little different, and quality is obviously more important than quantity.
It IS true for some women that G-Spot play may become more likely to result in orgasm over a period of weeks or months after first starting to experiment with it. It is also true that the intensity of G-Spot orgasms may be directly related to pubococcygeal muscle tone, which is another incentive for doing regular PC muscle exercises.
If you're a woman and you want to try including your G-Spot when masturbating, one good combination of toys would be a vibrator (used on your clit as you're getting warmed up).
By the way, in general it isn't a good idea to have a huge ego/emotional stake in having (or "giving") orgasms or multiple orgasms; most sex educators believe it isn't helpful to get "goal oriented" about something that's supposed to be fun.
Lorenzo Martini is the author of the amazing eBook: "Sex God Secrets: How to Kill Your Woman With Pleasure And Make Her Orgasm Like A Goddess."
"Discover the Amazing Secrets of a Former First Class Gigolo from Europe That Will Make You Become The Perfect Lover in Just 3 Days."
Click Here ==> sexgodsecrets.com
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed is a writer, educator, therapist/advisor/coach and holistic health consultant specializing in Erotic Communication, Sexual Intimacy, Soul Satisfying Sex as well as issues of living with chronic illness, chronic pain or disability. Sexuality services can be found at http://www.holistichelp.net/sexandsoul and Chronic illness services can be found at http://www.holistichelp.net
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
The best way to explain this is to talk about what NOT to do. With that in mind, I'll now talk about the top five mistakes guys make when it comes to sexual positions, so that way you won't continue making them.
Position Mistake 1: Imitating anything seen in a porn movie. This is probably the biggest reason that guys fail with sexual positions. Inexperienced guys think porn is a good model because they see studs banging beautiful broads, and... well, they just don't know any better. The problem is that sexual positions in those sorts of movies are meant to display a good scene for viewers, not to maximize pleasure for the actors.
And in fact, one of the WORST positions for clitoral and vaginal stimulation is when the woman puts her ankles on your shoulders. With her pelvis bent back that far, she can feel pain in her cervix if you push in too far. Plus it's a position that puts pressure. (If you ever have a chance to go behind the scenes and watch the making of an adult movie, you'll see how quickly the mood gets killed when the actress keeps having to stop the scene to go to the bathroom!)
Position Mistake 2: Trying too hard to keep your weight off the woman, in any position. To a woman, sex is a way to get closer to her man. She loves it when he leans on the underside of her thighs. So here's a tip for you to try... Next time you're having sex with your woman (while you're engaged in actual intercourse, that is), get more of your weight on her. You see, during sex, almost every woman enjoys feeling her man's body pressed hard against her.
So how much weight should you put on her? Make it enough so that after you come, and the sexual frenzy dissipates, your woman will tell you that she feels like she's being smooshed. Of course, do this within limits! If you're on top off her grinding her pubic bone for too long, it can feel painful for her.
But the bottom line is that many, many women like to be pressured by at least some of the man's weight. So save the gentlemanly sex for the royal family's women!
Position Mistake 3: Letting the woman do all the work when she's on top. For virtually every woman, sex is mostly a passive activity. So by being the motionless beta male, you destroy the whole purpose of sex for her, which is to open herself up to you penetrating into her body.
Position Mistake 4: Being a wimp. A lot of guys have read too many "Men are From Mars"-type books and think women like it if you ask permission for everything and let them take the lead. Be the alpha male instead and just "do it." Flip her over, move her here and there. Be aggressive and even toss her about like a rag doll when you want to change positions, and... she'll LOVE it! And don't worry about it. If something is going on that the woman doesn't like, she'll let you know.
Position Mistake 5: Thinking the trickier positions are better. You don't need to be upside down, hanging from a lamp, and doing something crazy. Just be normal. An old standby like the missionary (man on top, woman lying on her back) can be the best sexual position.
Tricky positions are just frustrating for everybody and often kill the mood because there's too much "where should I put my arm?"... and not enough "let's just have fun exploring."
John Alexander is author of How to Be Her Best Lover Ever, a groundbreaking sex guide for men that will make you so good in bed that your woman will beg you for more. Find out more about the best sexual positions by visiting http://www.HerBestLover.com
Sunday, November 13, 2005
The world of cybersex just took a step closer to enjoying virtual reality sex at home. Adult toy maker Doc Johnson just released the Virtual Sex Stroker sex machine with 3D cybersex. This male masturbator toy connects with your computer through the USB port and allows you to have virtual sex with Naughty Nurse Nicci.
Nurse Nicci starts off with a sexy striptease just for you. As her clothes slowly come off, you can tease her and make her hotter and hotter. Once she's fully naked, you choose what sex position you want her in.
The software for this virtual reality sex machine allows you to control sexy Nurse Nicci on your computer screen and enjoy 24 different sex positions with her?including kinkier lesbian and S&M encounters. Thrust in and out of the Virtual Sex Stroker cyberskin realistic vagina masturbator while your online 3D avatar counterpart has his way with sexy Nurse Nicci. He matches your strokes so you feel like you're part of the online action.
This virtual reality sex machine uses Plug and Play technology, making it user-friendly even for novice computer users. The Sex Stroker masturbator is 7 inches long x 2.75 inches wide and made of a life-like realistic skin substance called Cyberskin. The sex machine includes the 3D Interactive Game Software, USB connection cable, game instructions, and information to download additional games.
The system requirements for the Virtual Sex Storker sex machine are: Windows 98/ME/XP or Windows2000, Directx 8.0 or higher (included on disk), Macromedia Flash Player (included on disk), Pentium II, 333 mhz or faster, 68 MB Ram or more, one free USB port, and at least 70MB of free hard disk space.
Yes, penis size does matter, but not in the way that you may think.
After asking several hundred women over 18 years old, sizes, ethnicities, and sexual habits, 82% of these women answered that were happy with a penis that was big enough to satisfy them, which averaged at about 6 inches, that is just about the average penis size for men. Of course, there was a small percentage (9%) who wanted a penis that was larger than average (7 to 8 inches). Fewer women (2%) said that they preferred huge-sized penises (larger than 10 to 12 inches).
Penises much larger than average can cause some difficulties during sex. In fact, many women who dated men with abnormally larger penises complained that they weren't able to comfortably enjoy certain sexual positions, nor were they able to adequately give oral sex.
But... when asked whether length or girth was more important, most women opted for girth, as they claimed to enjoy the feeling of a thick penis against their vaginal walls rather than having an unusually long penis poking against their insides. The length has to be proportional to the width. And what would that be? I suppose that would be the average.
Other important things:
56% expect a penis to more or less match the complexion of the rest of a man's body.
23% expect a penis to feel very smooth.
21% weren't very happy about an abundance of veins.
So, if you're below average, you have two options:
- there are other ways in which to satisfy your woman, so explore your options;
- you can also try some methods to enlarge your penis...
About the Author J. Willey owns http://www.herbalxlarge.com
by Shalin Popat
From the time the first coca beans were harvested by the Mayans, there has been the belief that chocolate has a euphoric impact on the body's senses. The conquistadores saw the Emperor Montezuma of the Aztecs consuming a large quantity of cocoa in the form of a beverage called chocolatl before entering his harem. The invading Spaniards spread the Emperor's belief that cocoa was an aphrodisiac and brought it to Europe. This belief was also shared by one of history's most famous lovers, Giacomo Casanova.
Since then, the use of chocolate as part of the mating ritual has been firmly established. More recently it has been shown that not only does chocolate increase the sexual appetite but also produces a sense of elation similar to an orgasm. It has only been in recent times that scientists have unravelled chocolate's psychotropic properties and the effects it has on us. Chocolate has been found to contain modest amounts of the stimulants caffeine and theo-bromine, (much less than in coffee or tea) Chocolate is also known to generate increased levels of serotonin, a chemical naturally produced by the brain, which is known to reduce anxiety. Serotonin is most commonly associated with the effects of marijuana or getting 'stoned' (you would have to eat 25lbs of dark chocolate at once to achieve the same effect).
Neither of these properties by themselves provides the connection between eating chocolates and heightened sexual pleasure. It is in fact the rush of endorphins produced by eating chocolates, particularly dark chocolates, which is most similar to the bliss associated with a healthy sexual relationship. Chocolate also contains phenyl-ethylamine which is known to stimulate the release of dopamine into the pleasure centers commonly associated with an orgasm.
In addition to this scientific evidence, a great deal of behavioral research has been done to study the sexual behavior of women who eat a lot of chocolate and those who don't. The conclusion of this is that women who consume large quantities of chocolate have more satisfying sex lives. However the reverse correlation could also be assumed where women with satisfying sex lives tend to eat more chocolate.
Despite the fact that the relationship between sex and chocolate can't be proven with 100% certainty, the scientific evidence combined with behavioral studies provides a compelling argument for cocoa's impact on our sexual drive - it is convincing enough for chocolate to have become a part of my daily diet!
I recommend that you buy chocolate with a high cocoa content which taste better and do not contain extra sugars and oils like candy bars found in most shops. My personal favorite, Neuhaus chocolates, is an example of where you can get dark chocolate with a high cocoa content and a resulting surfeit of pleasure. To paraphrase the Song of Solomon, 'Stay me with flagons and comfort me with chocolates, for I am sick with love'.