Sex Positions, Sex Techniques, Sex News

Better Than Chocolate Vibrator

2012-01-13T07:27:00.000-08:00

Better Than Chocolate Vibrator

There are no shortage of vibrators available, but the new Better Than Chocolate vibrator is quite remarkable. It's an award-winning clitoral vibrator designed by Nomi Tang made from top of the line medical grade materials. It's super quiet and waterproof for Jacuzzi, tub or shower fun.

The Better Than Chocolate vibrator is designed to rest on a woman's pelvic bone and stimulate her clitoris. Amazingly, it works hands free for solo play. It's also fun to use during intercourse.

New Sex Toys & Vibrators for December 2011

2011-12-15T10:59:00.000-08:00

Elite Vibrating Double Delight Strap-on

This great new strap on dildo is made from 100% medical-grade silicone. It's unique design stimulates both partners simultaneously.

The vibrator offers 7 patterns to thrill you both.

Remote Control Vibrator 10 Function Little Black Panty

The Remote Control Vibrator 10 Function Black Panty stretches-to-fit in its sexy lace thong or pantie. A powerful remote control bullet stays hidden inside and can be used up to 20 feet away.

Intensity Vibrator by Jopen

The Intensity by Jopen is a kegel exerciser that automatically strengthens and tones the pelvic muscles that intensify orgasms.

Made of medial grade silicone.

Extreme Head Masturbator

The Xtreme Head Exciter powerfully strokes and sucks your penis to orgasm.

New Sex Toy Products for Novemeber 2011

2011-11-18T22:33:00.000-08:00

Here are some of the hot new adult toy products on the market for November 2011

Silicone Jack Rabbit vibrator

Xtreme Head Exciter masturbator

10 Function Pure Skin Stud Dildo Vibrator

Tommy Gunn BE Him Cyberskin Extension

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Masturbation Facts

2011-09-02T18:30:00.000-07:00

Masturbation Facts - Sexual Experience and Attitudes

* 3.35 million people in the US search for the keyword "Sex Toys" on Google each month
* 20% of adults report that they indulge in kinky sex using masks, blindfolds or bondage gear
* 20% of men report using a vibrator
* 44% of women report that they have used a sex toy
* 15% were under 20 when they first tried one
* 50% were in their 20's when they first tried one
* 25% were in their 30's when they first tried one
* 10% were forty or older when they first tried one
* 20% of women report masturbating at least once a week. Of those 20%, 60% use a sex toy
* Women who use sex toys report experiencing more frequent orgasms than those who say they don't use toys
* Women who report masturbating score higher on a self-esteem index than women who don't masturbate.

Eat Your Way To Better Sex

2011-08-10T06:19:00.000-07:00

Better Sex Through Food

Fenugreek - contains a substance called saponin, which is believed to increase the production of male sex hormines, including testosterone. In preliminary studies, men who took fenugreek increased their sex drive by as much as 28%.
Celery - Boosts the hormone androsterone, which is an important pheromone that has been shown to attract women.
Maca - Increases testosterone levels, which can improve sexual performance, the frequency with which people desire sex and can be effective in increasing sperm count! For women, maca is known to increase sex-drive and fertility!
Pumpkin Seeds - Pumpkin seeds contain zinc, which is important in testosterone production for men and also helps to sustain sexual desire in women. Pumpkin seeds are also rich in the essential fatty acid omega 3, which acts as a precursor of prostaglandins, hormone-like substances that play a key role in sexual health.
Bananas - Help to boost male libido largely due to the presence of the enzyme bromelain. Bananas are also a good source of B vitamins like riboflavin and potassium, which which are vital for sex-hormone production.
Avocado - Helps to increase both male and female libido. It contains very high levels of folic acid, vitamin B6, which improves male hormone production and potassium, which helps to regulate a woman's thyroid gland.
Chilies - Contain capsaicin the substance that gives kick to peppers, curries and other spicy foods. Capsaicin triggers the release of endorphins. It also stimulates nerve endings and raises your heart rate.
Basil - Increases circulation, stimulates the sex drive and boosts fertility! It is also said to produce a general sense of well being for body and mind. Basil oil was once employed by Mediterranean prostitutes as a perfume to attract customers.
Cardamom - An intensely powerful aphrodisiac and also beneficial in treating impotence. It is high in cineole, which can increase blood flow in certain delicate areas!
Garlic - Contains high levels of allicin, a compound that improves blood flow to the sexual organs. Allicin is produced through an enzyme reaction which occurs only once garlic has been chopped. Swallowing whole cloves of garlic does not produce the same effect.

New Sex Positions with Sex Swings

2009-04-10T06:11:00.000-07:00

Sex Swings Offer Exciting New Sex Positions

Sex swings offer users hundreds of new sex positions to enjoy. Become a swinger. The only limitations are your own creativity as swings give you endless possibilities of sex positions. Spinning Sex Swing and the Pleasure Swing are the most popular swings and they're quite reasonably priced.

USING SEX SWINGS FOR INTERCOURSE

Easily "swing" your partner into the next position without losing the mood
Faster, deeper penetration is possible with the energy from the Spring action
Torque Support Bar™ on the Spinning Sex Swing and the Love Swing allows users greater leverage during sex
Adjustable straps allow different angles of entry
Sex swings can make sex positions much more comfortable than sex on a bed or other furniture. They offer both of you less fatigue and back strain and this allows for longer love making sessions.
The man can stand and move the woman back and forth in the swing, or move her in other interesting angles, for intercourse. This is a favorite position for many.
With the man sitting in a chair, he can have the woman in the swing above him, her legs spread apart or together and use the swing to move her up and down. Another option includes having the woman face away from the man or toward him.
Hands-free sexual positions provides new options for touch and caressing sensations during sex
With a swing attached over a bed, the man can lay down and bounce the woman up and down in the swing using the bungee spring.
The swing allows the man to lay down and the woman, suspended in the swing over him, can spin sitting in the swing 360º
Positioning the woman suspended face down in the swing gives an exciting "doggy style" entry or anal entry. (Also, male anal entry.)

SEX SWING FOR ORAL SEX

Sex swings allow you to choose positions that eliminate strain on the neck and back. Kneeling on floor or bed, the oral giver can have easy access to the oral receiving partner suspended in a swing
Using the weightless effect of a swing you can suspend your lover allowing the oral giver to use there tongue, lips, hands and mouth in new exciting ways
Sitting in a swing allows your partner to move you around effortlessly during oral sex
The spring-loaded "energy" of a swing adds excitement to oral sex. Use the bungee spring motion to bounce your partner up and down while giving oral.
With the man placed in the swing, a woman can give oral sex by moving the man by pulling and pushing him back and forth into her mouth with very little effort.
Many couples enjoy weightless "69" oral sex. One partner lays on the bed one direction, the other partner is suspended in the swing facing the other; both of you face each others genital area.

USING A SEX SWING FOR MASTURBATION

A Sex Swing spring allows the user to bounce on an insertable toys
Masturbate using a swing with the foot stirrups to keep legs apart effortlessly
Relaxing positions as you swing
Attach a dildo or vibrator with a suction cup to the wall. Suspended in the swing, push your feet off the wall with the toy inserted.

These are only a few of the sex positions possible with a sex swing. Use your creativity. It's always fun to experiment.

Lelo Vibrators

2008-06-03T09:40:00.000-07:00

New LELO Vibrators

Elise Vibrator
by Lelo

Iris Vibrator
by Lelo

Liv Vibrator
by Lelo

Gigi Vibrator
by Lelo

Lelo vibrators are a spectacular line of vibes that are rechargeable . These top quality vibes are made in Sweden and offer ergonomic design and curved to his the g-spot for intense orgasms. The material is top grade hypo-allergenic silicone.

Each Lelo vibrator comes in a beautiful gift box and a satin pouch for storing. These Lelo vibrators are pricey, around $100, but they are amazing.

Sugasm 133

2008-05-26T22:49:00.000-07:00

Sugasm #133

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #134? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Giving a Damn
“Something happened somewhere along the way, though. I began to care.”

Catalina loves “Better Sex Through Yoga”
“I’ve tried a lot of things, as you can imagine, but there were even a few new things in there for me!”

Reality Check: Dealing With Assholes
“Being able to decline a call is great but bills still need to be paid.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
The Secret Lives of Plants

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Greater Intimacy Through Tantric Sex

2008-05-20T11:18:00.000-07:00

Ecstasy Through Tantric Sexual Practices

If you are looking for a way to take your sex life to the next level and are willing to put in time and effort, tantric sex practices might be the way to go.
Don't expect to jump right in and have everything be different and amazing right off the bat, but if you take the time to learn new techniques and build your knowledge and skill level, you could be opening yourself up for intense levels of sexual and spiritual ecstasy.

Tantric philosophy is an ancient practice and the belief exists that using these techniques will redirect your orgasms through the entire body, or chakra centers, that will not only bring greater senses of pleasure throughout your body, but will also create better overall health.
In an era of sexual fears, great levels of stress and deeper intimacy avoidance, tantric practices can bring the deepest levels of intimacy, connectedness and joy to a relationship.

What is Tantric Sex?
Tantra is not automatically associated with sex. It came out of India over 6,000 years ago as a rebellion against organized religion. It became a different way of viewing the world. Instead of looking at everything as polar, it looked at everything as something merging, creative…a life lived without boundaries.
Tantra means to expand, to manifest, to show. Tantric sex practices weave together the polarity of the male vs. female creating a whole. Using these practices will prolong sexual activity and will heighten the states of arousal and final pleasure.

If we consciously use our sexual energies, it can help us tap into youth and vitality. This practice can make us healthier human beings physically, spiritually and sexually. According to Christiane Northrup, M.D., the author of “Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom," “Sexual energy is one of our most powerful energies for creating health."

Beyond sex as a means to and end:
We currently live in a society that views sexuality as recreational; as a means to an end. Tantra views sexuality as something ongoing; as living in the moment. The average woman takes approximately 20 minutes to reach orgasm, whereas the average sexual encounter only last between 10-15 minutes. Uh oh! No wonder we are sexually frustrated!
These techniques can lead to multiple orgasms for both women AND men! I can't tell you how many readers write to me about early ejaculation or simply wanting to last longer. This will help all of my readers last longer and get so much more out of their sexual encounters. Tantra will allow you to more deeply connect with your partner.

How to get started:
Do not focus on the end result. Spend time in the moment getting to know what arouses your partner. Communicate! Communicate! Communicate! Do not spend energy trying to have an orgasm, but rather stay in the moment and focus on what feels good.
Take time NOT worrying about the big O, but instead on what creates greater sexual energy and connectedness between you and your partner. Ideally, you will spend several weeks learning these techniques and NOT even engaging in intercourse. I'm telling you: Sting himself, master of music and sexuality, attributes his incredible sex life to this ancient practice!

Set love as a priority:
I know that we all have incredibly busy lives, but unless we are willing to make each other a priority, nothing will change and we will go on unfulfilled in our relationships and our sex lives. Create time at least once a week and at a minimum of an hour that is just about the two of you.
Put some effort into it by creating a space that is conducive to romance. Whether it's with candles, dim lights, music…find a way to encapsulate a romantic setting in your home. It doesn't have to take much effort, but the effort will take you a long way.

Play around with clothing. Maybe go with something that you've never tried before. Find something that creates a sense of sexuality even if it turns out to be nothing at all! Completely naked will often do the trick just fine!

Create and practice deeper levels of intimacy:
Spend time getting to know each other on a different level. Reciprocating massages or bathing each other can be great ways to deepen levels of intimacy. Your focus is on your partner and what feels good to him or her. Think about washing your partner in warm water and how nice that would feel; how erotic it could be for the both of you.
Communicate with each other on a different level. Take time to point out the many ways you adore each other, focusing on all the wonderful things you find in each other that drew you in when you first met, along with all the amazing things you've discovered along the way. It's such an aphrodisiac when someone feels truly valued and loved.

You want to deepen your intimacy skills and that can be done in the ways suggested above, but also through playing music together or reading poetry to each other. Find what works for you through what has meaning to your partner.

The value of the breath:
We tend to take breathing for granted…which is a good thing! But it can also aid us in developing deeper intimacy. Take a moment with your partner where you face each other. Start to pay attention to your breathing.
For best results, sit facing each other looking into the other's eyes. It may be uncomfortable at first, but it will help you to better connect. Take slow breaths in and out. Start to synchronize with your partner's breathing. This helps you to focus on each other and develop a better sense of connection.

The value of erotic touch:
The biggest and first erotic zone we ever experience is our skin. As you touch and explore each other, maintain eye contact but do not worry so much about breathing at this time. We'll get back to that later.
Take time to touch and be touched. Trade back and forth giving each other a chance to fully experience the touch of the other. Listen to your partner and when it is your turn, tell him or her exactly what feels good to you. Be vocal and appreciative of what you like. Ask for more or less pressure…go slower or faster...wetter or dryer…harder or deeper or softer or not-quite-so�far. Build your communication skills along the way. Your partner is not a mind reader.

Start to build a pleasure chest full of items that turn you and your partner on and help you find that pleasurably fulfilling place in each other. Try:

Kama Sutra Massage Oil, or Kama Sutra Oils of Love

The trick is not in spending a lot of money, but in finding new and different avenues for your sexual exploration and pleasure. This is the time to speak up about what matters to you and get what you want. You are the only person who can tell your partner what feels good and what you like or don't like. Get in touch with the inner you, tap into your self- esteem and SPEAK UP! You deserve to go beyond one orgasm and this article should help you get started.

Better Female Orgasms - Increasing Libido and Female Orgasm Sensitivity

2008-01-10T11:36:00.000-08:00

While there has been a focus on male sexuality enhancement over the past ten years or so, women have often been ignored when it came to sexuality research. The focus now seems to be shifting, and women's sexuality is suddenly attracting many researchers that are looking to improve and enhance female's sex lives. Diagnosing female sexual dysfunctions is the job for a professional, but women should try and understand their own sexuality in order to get the most out of their sex life. There are a variety of techniques that work for different women, and today there are also a number of female sexual enhancement products for both increasing libido as well as enhancing female orgasm sensitivity. This article is intended to shed some light on women's sexual enhancement and increasing female orgasms.

Sometimes women can suffer from a sexual dysfunction and they aren't able to enjoy a healthy sex life as they normally should. While some dysfunctions are more serious than others, many problems are not considered to be major and are easy to understand and even correct. Low female libido is a very common complaint amongst middle aged women, and is nothing to be concerned about. Sex drive is fueled by a number of hormones, and if these hormone levels fluctuate so do female emotions. Keeping these female libido hormones in check is the trick to maintaining a healthy sex drive. Some women can even suffer from decreased orgasm sensitivity, which can be very frustrating. Luckily, there are different techniques that can help, and even some cream products for this problem.

Different techniques can often be the key for increasing female orgasm sensitivity. This includes different positions as well as different stimulation techniques for bringing on female orgasms. Every woman is different, and individuals will need to find what works best for them. Most orgasms are stimulated through the clitoris, usually by rubbing, pressing, or using a vibrator against this hyper-sensitive part of the female anatomy. While this usually works for stimulating orgasms in females, others might find that they prefer vaginal stimulation to reach orgasm. Something that should be understood is that vaginal stimulation rarely results in orgasms, and the clitoris is almost always the easiest trigger for a female orgasm.

Beyond different techniques, there are now a number of effective products for female orgasm enhancement and increasing female libido. Although the past couple of decades have brought countless sexual enhancement products for men, it wasn't until the most recent few years that women's products came to the market. Now there are many natural products for increasing female libido, based on herbs and vitamins that are known to settle hormonal fluctuations in women. These products are all based on research from civilizations around the world, and many women are already taking some of the ingredients in these supplements, like Black Cohosh, Vitamins A, B, C, etc. Alternatively, for women suffering from decreased orgasm sensitivity there now topical creams, also completely natural. These new creams are allowing women that were never able to experience orgasms to reach new heights of pleasure. Being based on natural ingredients, these products are medically approved and safe for women of all ages.

Female sexuality problems have become the focus of a new group of researchers. A high percentage of women suffer from decreasing libido, an inability to come to orgasm, or a number of other sexual problems. While there is no simple answer to female sexuality, there are plenty of techniques and even some different products for female sexual enhancement.

Jonathan Matthews is an avid sexual health activist, and encourages a healthy sex life for both women and men. His site, http://www.sexdriveforher.com is considered to be one of the most comprehensive female sexual enhancement websites online.

Sex and Marriage Relationships - 10 Things Women Should Know About Sex After Having a Baby

2007-12-05T15:01:00.000-08:00

Your whole life changes after having a baby. You may be starting to wonder about how your marriage and sexual relationship will change once your are parents. Read on to discover ten things that you should know about sex after having a baby.

1. Waiting for Sex

How long do you have to wait to have sex after having a baby? Usually you can resume sex four to six weeks after delivery before having sex. Talk to your health-care provider about when it is safe for you to have sex again.

2. “I Haven’t Got Time for The Pain”

If you had an episiotomy, then you may have some discomfort when you first have sex. There are two things that can help: water-soluble lubricant and position yourself on top and your partner on the bottom. If you are on top it is easier to move into a more comfortable position if your partner touches a sensitive area.

3. Another Pregnancy?

You can get pregnancy fairly soon after delivery, even if you are breastfeeding. I have had patients get pregnant in less than six weeks. If you do not want to get pregnant immediately, then use birth control.

4. Your Post-Baby Body

Your body is no longer the same after having a baby. Some of the changes you can work on through exercise and diet. Other changes are permanent.

You may feel self-conscious about your post-baby body. On the other hand, your husband still thinks you are sexy and enjoys seeing your body.

5. Are You Listening?

You may find it hard to stay focused on sex when you are listening for the baby. This may get easier as the baby gets older and does not wake up as often.

6. The Baby is Wet But You Are Not

Breastfeeding can cause vaginal dryness and pain with sex. Use a water-soluble lubricant or talk to your health-care provider about using vaginal estrogen.

7. You Might Prefer Sleep Over Sex

Fatigue is one of the most common causes of low sex drive in women. New moms are usually sleep deprived and exhausted. It is not uncommon for your sex drive to diminish.

8. Super-Mom and Super-Sex Goddess?

A lot of women have trouble going from being mom to lover within a few minutes. Take some time to unwind before sex to help you change roles.

9. There is a Baby in Your Room

You may feel uncomfortable having sex if your newborn is in a bassinet in your room. A young baby will not be aware of what you are doing. If you are having trouble relaxing try having sex in a different room.

10. The Sex Exercise

The vagina gets stretched out during pregnancy and childbirth. Kegel exercises can help tighten and strengthen the pelvic muscles.

Having a new baby is an exciting time filled with wonder and awe. It is easy to get so caught up with the baby that you neglect your marriage relationship. The most important gift you can give your baby is a stable family and that includes a strong marriage. Sex is just one part of having a strong marriage.

If you are ready for more information about how to keep your marriage strong, the visit our website at http://www.BuildingYourDreamMarriage.com.

I would like to invite you to discover how you can be "Daytime Parents and Nighttime Lovers" at Sex Tips for Parents.

Sex is to marriage what hot is to soup. You can have one without the other, but it is not nearly as palatable. Good luck in building your dream marriage- Laurel Barnet

G-spot and Female Sexual Response

2007-07-23T10:11:00.000-07:00

by: Gabrielle Moore

This article will teach you all about how women respond to sexual situations and some topics about the G-Spot. A part where you can stimulate it to give your partner quicker orgasm.

Female Sexual Response

The famous sex researchers, William Masters and Virginia Johnson, were the first to outline the four stages of sexual response in human beings. These stages apply to both men and women, but each gender experiences the stages differently. Men typically race through the stages faster than women do, but that's only on average.

In some situations, women may be ready for orgasm much faster than a man. We'll look at each of the stages as they occur in women and we'll tell you what signs to watch for so you'll be able to determine when your partner is ready for the next stage.

Stage 1 – Excitement

* This is one of the easiest stages to reach for both men and women. A woman can become excited just by smelling your cologne or having your hand brush against her breasts. She can become excited by fantasizing about sexual encounters or by flirting with you during dinner. In fact, during the average date, women may become excited ten to fifteen times. Most of those times do not lead to the next level, however.

* The female body responds to this stage in very specific ways. Let's go through some of those physical signs of excitement:

* Her nipples become erect

* Her vagina starts becoming lubricated

* Her clitoris begins to swell and grow larger

* The inner parts of her vagina begin to expand

* Her breasts may even increase in size if she becomes highly aroused

* These are not the only physical signs, but these are probably the ones you or her may notice. Notice that during this early stage, her vagina is already becoming lubricated. Many men have the mistaken notion that this is a sign that a woman is ready to engage in intercourse. That is not the case. A lubricated vagina only means a woman is aroused. All of these signs do suggest, however, that her body is preparing for the possibility of sex.

* Stage 2 – Plateau

* This second stage does not occur as frequently as the arousal or excitement stage. In fact, most incidents of arousal never reach this level. So when does a woman reach this level? Well, she will require more physical stimulation. Foreplay, for example, will help her move to this stage, so does increased fantasizing.

During this stage, sexual tension inside her body is growing.

* This stage is also accompanied by more physical signs. A few of those signs are listed below:

* Breasts may increase noticeably in size

* The vagina swells and the vaginal opening begins to narrow

* The clitoris becomes more erect

* Her heart beat may increase noticeably

* The color of the labia minora will change from pink to either red or wine-color

* This final physical sign is very important. Researchers have found that if the color-change does not occur, then women rarely have an orgasm.

* About one-half to three-fourths of women also experience what is termed a “sex flush” on parts of their body. The increased blood flow to the skin sometimes gives the appearance of a flush over the chest or other parts of the body.

* During the plateau stage, the woman's body is becoming ready for intercourse. Only near the end of this stage is she physically ready for vaginal intercourse.

* Stage 3 – Orgasm

* All of those women who fake their orgasms end up continually jumping from the second to the fourth stage of sexual response. After her body is truly ready for intercourse and if she is receiving the proper stimulation – usually clitoral – then it does not take long for her to reach the third stage.

* Below are some of the physical effects your partner will experience during this stage. Some of these should be noticeable by you and a couple are impossible for her to fake, so if you really want to know whether you are making her climax or not you just need to pay attention to the physical signs.

* Muscle contractions – Intense muscle contractions through the pelvic area will occur during the orgasm. A woman can have three to fifteen of these contractions depending on the strength of her orgasm. She may also experience muscle contractions in other parts of the body as well.

* Most women's bodies become temporarily rigid at the highest point of their orgasm. This lasts for only a moment, but its something you may notice.

* The “sex flush” is another indicator of orgasm. At this stage, it becomes brighter and more noticeable. It may also have spread to other areas of her body.

* Another tell-tale sign of orgasm in some women is ejaculation. Some women do ejaculate after an orgasm.

* Although you won't be able to see this, an orgasm can be detected by looking at a woman's brain wave patterns. There is a clear difference.

* Stage 4 – Resolution

* This is an interesting stage because what happens during it depends on what did not happen before or what is continuing to happen. For example, if a woman does successfully complete the third stage then she may be able to have multiple orgasms.

We'll talk about that more a little later in this article.

* If a woman does not have an orgasm, then her body will begin to return to normal but it will take longer. Many women report physical discomfort in the pelvic area during this process.

* You should also keep in mind that after an orgasm a woman's breasts and nipples will be incredibly sensitive. In fact, they can be so sensitive that touching them is uncomfortable for her.

* After the last orgasm, the “sex flush” will disappear. * Also, your partner may experience heavy sweating, rapid heart beating, and/or heavy breathing.

* The resolution stage marks the end of the cycle for women.

* Multiple Orgasms & Sexual Response Cycle

* Multiple orgasms do happen in women. In fact, they are more common than researchers initially believed. Any time a woman has an orgasm she is capable of having a repeat if the right stimulation continues.

* What's interesting about multiple orgasms in women is that they do not have to repeat the entire cycle to gain another orgasm. Once they are in the area between the third and fourth stages, their bodies are highly orgasmic.

About The Author

Gabrielle Moore is co-author of The G Spot Code, a site to help men please their female partners with a G Spot Orgasm. Download your FREE Report from: http://www.femaleorgasmrevealed.com/femaleorgasm/

Gals Ogle More than Guys

2007-06-13T08:54:00.000-07:00

Women are worse oglers than men - despite the widespread belief they are less physically focused.

Scientists used eye-tracking technology to pinpoint what people looked at when shown a series of sexy photos, reports The Sun.

They expected women to be more interested in faces and men in the naughty bits - but it was the other way round.

Dr Heather Rupp of the US-based Kinsey Institute said: "Men looked at the female face much more than women and both looked at the genitals comparably."

So she probably is checking out your package.

How to Attract Women: Seven Great Ways to Flirt with Women

2006-12-21T13:49:00.000-08:00

Girls are more inclined to give off, and notice, body signals than guys, and are ALWAYS looking for signs from us guys, as well. Guys ask me what we men should do for body language, so this column will give you the answers.

You have to remember that whatever you say, however you gesture your hands, arms, head, and eyes, women are NOT taking your movements at face value. If she jokes with you and you lightly push her away as if to say "Stop", she's taking that simple gesture as something more: interest, dis-interest, enjoyment, annoyance?any of a million different signals. She's reading it for further suggestions as to what kind of guy you are, and what your interest in her is. Know that with body language, girls are always reading the way you move and act!

Here are my "Lucky Seven" best ways to show interest:

The confident eye gaze
The "Dale Head Drop"
Smile!
Open body language
Lean in to her
Thumbs in belt
Touch her

Let's look at each in more detail:

1. The confident eye gaze

This is how you start your interest. Nothing shows confidence off the bat like meeting a girl's eyes, and KEEPING YOUR STARE. If you see her look down and smile, you know you've made it and the time to approach is now. If she looks away from you but doesn't smile, give her a shot nonetheless; just the fact that she met your eyes for a second or two shows interest.

2. The Dale Head Drop

So named after the guy who mastered the art of getting women rushing to his side, just with a simple shrug! If you really want to blow away a girl?and show some balls?meet a girl's eyes, then knowingly drop your head to the side, as if to say, "Hey, you know you want me. Come over here and get me!" I've found this to work incredibly well in foreign countries. In the States, the girls tend to be able to see through it a bit more?but it still works!

3. Smile!

It's often overlooked, but nothing communicates happiness, confidence, and interest in a girl all in one like a nice big smile. Show the girl you're in control, show her you're confident, show her you're a fun guy to be around: brighten the place up with a big smile! And if your teeth need work, then get them fixed! It's good not just for your chances of meeting a girl, but also for your health and appearance!

4. Open Body Language

So many guys walk or sit with their arms crossed, their legs close together, and their faces anxious and flat. Stop that! Welcome a girl into your world: Have your arms open and leaned back, your legs open and relaxed, your face warm and inviting. You'll not only attract yourself into a girl's world, but also into the world of people at a party, club, or bar who can help you meet a future girlfriend?or even wife!

5. Lean in to her

As you're talking to a girl, especially while seated, show her your interest with confidence by leaning in closer. You don't want to be a creep, of course, but you can generally tell by a girl's body language and talk how interested she is in you. If things are looking good, show her your control of the situation?and interest in her?by leaning in and generally getting closer to her. Leaning back does the opposite; it shows you're unconfident and not overly interested. Not what you want to communicate.

6. Thumbs in belt

Ever put your thumbs in your belt, with your hands at your hips' side? This is processed as a sign of being confident in one's sexuality and size. So if you're standing around at a bar or club and want to convey confidence, this will certainly be understood by girls!

7. Touch her!

Yup, nothing gets you closer to a girl than physical touch. Great conversations and emotional/spiritual chemistry are great, but if you really want to take it to the next level, you'll have to eventually show some balls and touch her. I'm not talking about grabbing her and making out (unless it really is going that well and she's flirting out of control!), but doing little things: brushing your arm by her shoulders, lightly massaging her, leading her by the arm to another location in the place. By making a physical connection, you're giving her a sign loud and clear that you're confident in yourself and interested in her.

***********************************************

James Brito, author of How to Be Irresistible to Women, regularly explores topics of female attraction. Since 2000, he has helped thousands of men around the world-wide build confidence and get the women they deserve. To get James' FREE six-part "How to Attract Women" audio mini-course, go to:

http://www.000relationships.com

Rejuvenating Sex And Health Naturally

2006-12-21T13:45:00.000-08:00

Our physical and psychological makeup is influenced by the sexual imperative far more than most of us realize or wish to admit. Entire systems of psychoanalytical therapy (e.g. Freud) are based upon the premise that we are primarily sexual creatures.

Behaviorally, there is little doubt that there are dramatic differences between the sexes. This can be seen even in the earliest of years. (This is so in spite of vigilant efforts by "rights" groups to blur distinctions and to declare sexual equality by legal fiat.) Girls with dolls and boys with trucks and guns manifest with no coaching from parents, and reflect the natural nurturing tendencies of girls versus the more aggressive and protecting inclination of boys. Physically the primary and secondary sexual characteristics are obviously different. These features, in fact, attract the opposite sex and prepare each sex for reproduction, caregiving and protection for the young.

But sex is not just about recreation or procreation. It can directly impact health. For example, the risk of breast cancer is directly linked to childbearing and nursing in women ? having children and nursing them for extended periods of time decreases the number of ovulations a woman has and thus decreases the pro-cancerous estrogen surges. Other research has demonstrated that fulfilling sexual activity in women is also linked to health.

A man's sense of strength, perception of attractiveness to women, feelings of being loved and depended upon, financial success, respect, and feeling accepted are all intricately tied to sexuality. Male sexual self-worth goes hand-in-hand with physical and mental health.

Who primarily commits violent crime in society? Is it not young men in the heyday of their testosterone surge? Sexuality and health at their peak create the potential for either great accomplishment or great harm depending upon how these energies are focused.

On the other hand, when male hormone levels start to ebb in later years, health decline parallels this downturn. Men experience loss of muscle mass, lowered energy levels, decreased immunity, increased susceptibility to a variety of degenerative diseases, decreased libido and fertility, and various degrees of impotence. Sensing this decline, men can feel hopeless, worthless and at the end of life. Such feelings further fuel the downward health spiral often resulting in an early death.

The importance of sexuality in men is evidenced by polls showing that men would sooner risk serious life-threatening side effects than forego the possibility that a new drug (e.g. Viagra?) might rejuvenate them sexually. Being sexually alive even in the very oldest of men may be as important as life itself.

Although male hormone levels decrease with age, the slope of the curve can be dramatically altered. It will not, however, be just a matter of taking a pill. Supplemental male hormones are available but their use disrupts the body's natural balances and can cause negative feedback inhibition. When this occurs, exogenous hormones (pills) send a signal to hormone-producing tissues that hormone levels are high enough. Endogenous (from the body itself) production therefore slows. Over time this can weaken hormone-producing tissues so that the initial problem of inadequate production is compounded. This is at least part of the mechanism for the adverse effects of anabolic (male hormone-like) steroids taken by athletes and bodybuilders. Young men eager to exaggerate muscularity end up with withered and weakened testicles and other endocrine glands setting them up for serious diseases as they get older.

A better alternative is to make healthy lifestyle changes (suggested in the Optimal Health Program?) combined with natural nutritional supplementation, which has been proven to provide benefit to many.

Androgenic phytonutrients from herbs (such as Tribulus terrestris, Muira puama, Avena sativa and nettle leaf), amino acids (including L-arginine) and certain foods such as melons naturally increase testosterone production without the danger of negative feedback inhibition as experienced with anabolic steroids and other hormones. Increased testosterone levels, in turn, increase libido, act as an aphrodisiac and help prevent impotence. (In fact, modern research has revealed that testosterone is the only substance capable of generating libido in both men and women.)

Recent studies suggest that these phytonutrients also affect brain chemicals such that potency and erectile capacity are improved and male reproductive system growth, function, and repair is enhanced.

Phytonutrients can also improve sexual function through inhibiting the binding of sex hormone-binding globulin to its receptor site on prostatic membranes. This provides relief to benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) sufferers who often experience painful intercourse, a certain impediment to sexuality.

Other nutrients such as zinc, vitamin B12 and vitamin C directly stimulate sperm production and motility and thus increase fertility. Modern, processed, food fraction-based dietary fare can be woefully deficient in these nutrients. Selecting good supplements and converting the diet to more natural, fresh and varied foods is the solution.

Lifestyle changes (outlined in the Optimal Health Program?) ? not the least of which is maintaining healthy body weight and regularly exercising ? when combined with proper nutrition can rejuvenate the entire body and with that send a signal to the sexual core of our biological being that we are alive and well. Such signals stimulate a natural invigoration of sexuality, and with that mental and physical health.

Dr. Wysong is a former veterinary clinician and surgeon, college instructor in human anatomy, physiology and the origin of life, inventor of numerous medical, surgical, nutritional, athletic and fitness products and devices, research director for the present company by his name and founder of the philanthropic Wysong Institute. He is author of The Creation-Evolution Controversy now in its eleventh printing, a new two volume set on philosophy for living entitled Thinking Matters: 1-Living Life... As If Thinking Matters
http://wysong.net/

7 Tricks for Lasting Longer in Bed. A Crash Course in Sexual Stamina

2006-12-21T13:39:00.000-08:00

My extensive experiences with tantric yoga, ancient sexuality practices, and contemporary western therapeutic paradigms have exposed me to many 'tricks-of-the-trade' when it comes to coming.

In this article I'll attempt to distill some of this simple but powerful wisdom. Hopefully men seeking to improve their sexual stamina, or even just to educate themselves sexually, can begin to use this as a roadmap for their quest. And a very worthy quest it is too, (speaking as a woman).

If there is one thing I cannot resist it is a man who is dedicated to learning more about his body and sexuality in general.

I know I speak for a lot of other women when I say that the most important quality in a lover is a commitment to improving the quality of his, and his partner's, sexual experiences.

THE TRICKS TO LASTING LONGER

1. Relax and increase your body awareness

There are very many techniques out there to help you relax and be more able to 'feel' your body. As a yoga practitioner I have experience with very many powerful relaxation, meditation and breathing techniques.

Perhaps the simplest one is just paying attention to your breathing during sex. Not controlling it, just noticing it.

Masters and Johnson also developed a technique known as "sensate focus exercises" which I use extensively in my practice as sexual surrogate therapist and sex 'coach'.

2. Focus on pleasure in sex, rather than sexual performance.

Let go of any expectations about the outcome of sex. Going into a sexual experience with a 'plan' robs you of any ability to be open minded.

You cannot learn from sex if you are focused on how it should look.

Instead, notice the pleasure as it is happening. The pleasure will show you what is good. It is the ultimate teacher when it comes to sex.

3. Increase awareness of your sexual arousal.

Again, open your awareness to your feelings of pleasure and pay close attention to your arousal levels. Awareness is the first step to understanding; which is itself a step towards mastery.

Focus on your pleasure during sex, during masturbation, or even the subtle pleasure you experience when a gorgeous woman gets on the bus.

4. Extend your sexual arousal to higher levels.

There are many techniques you can learn to extend your pleasure. As you become more aware of your sexual arousal a natural increase in your arousal level is inevitable.

This will happen because you will become familiar and comfortable with your pleasure, and your body will propel you to greater heights naturally.

Be sure to practice sex and pleasure often, so your body can keep teaching you.

5. Master your sexual arousal consistently at higher levels.

As your sexual pleasure naturally increases with more practice, you will begin to 'play' with it.

Manipulate your breathing patterns, sexual energy field and subtle internal sensations, to the point that you can begin to feel mastery over them.

Again, ancient wisdom, sex manuals and other people's experiences are full of eye opening possibilities.

6. Become accustomed to a steady level of intense arousal.

Get into the habit of building your sexual pleasure and indulging in it fully. Let the moments you feel pleasure expand.

Let the arousal continue as if it didn't need to end ever. It will of course, but you don't care when ... just let it happen.

7. Stop thinking

Drop your conscious mind out of the picture. Investigate or experiment with techniques to get your internal dialogue to shut up.

Experience all of this intense and joyous pleasure, not in your head, not by thinking about it ... but in your body. Feel it!

THE KEY is connecting more deeply to your own sensations and feelings.

Here's a bonus tricky tip for you. It's also the most important one.

8. Remember your own commitment to learn and grow.. . it all comes back to you.

By the way, if some of these tricks seem to be a bit of a tease it's because they are. Each one could be the subject of several very in depth articles or sexuality workshops.

I want you to take the time to ponder these tricks and look further. I wish you well on your adventures and I wish you very much pleasure.

Mukee Okan is a world renowned sexual therapist and spiritual guide. She is based in Phoenix and keeps herself busy running workshops and sessions in Europe, North America, Asia, Australia and New Zealand.
Visit http://www.erectileejaculation.com to download free audio files or purchase her e-book on overcoming premature ejaculation.

Your Erection – Understand It & Control It

2006-12-15T11:04:00.000-08:00

An obvious physical change in a man’s body part, the erection is not as simple as it may appear.

If you can understand your erection, you can control it as well.

Your erection is an important part of your personal life, so understanding what and how things happen to your penis is crucial to getting more from your sex life.

How Erection Happens – What Is the Erection?

Erection of the penis happens as the two tubular structures that run the length of the penis (called the corpora cavernosa) suddenly become engorged with venous blood.

This can be the result of any number of stimuli.

Located just below the corpora cavernosa is the corpus spongiosum.

This is a single tube containing the urethra. Here passes both men’s urine and semen during urination and ejaculation. Therefore, the erection results in swelling and enlargement of the penis enabling men’s sexual activities.

Stated simply, as the blood flows into the penis, it stiffens.

Both its girth and length increase, and the penis rises to an angle from 15 degrees to sometimes over 90 degrees.

The Stages of Erection Leading to Ejaculation

Stage1 – The Excitement Phase

This begins with vasocongestion (accumulations of blood in the pelvic area). This is dependent on sexual stimulation.

Here the diameter of the urethra doubles. The scrotum moves towards the body, and both heart rate and blood pressure increase. There is a pronounced muscular tension throughout the body.

Stage 2 – The Plateau

The penis is now hard, and has risen to an angle. It has increased in both girth and length. The testes have increased 50% of their normal size, and are closer to the body.

The heart is beating faster, and is now at about 100 to 150 beats per minute. Muscular tension throughout the body has now increased.

Stage 3 – The Orgasmic Phase

Just before the orgasmic phase begins, there is a pronounced enlargement of the penis and a further hardening condition.

This will be accompanied by a very familiar internal sensation that the orgasm is arriving. This is technically called “ejaculatory inevitability”.

It cannot be stopped (unless you can move back to Stage 2). Just after you sense this, the man will ejaculate.

It is notable that orgasm and ejaculation are not the same event, and can occur separately. There are great physiochemical changes in the man’s body causing what is known as the orgasmic reaction.

Stage 4 – The Resolution

Just after ejaculation, the man’s body starts to return to its normal un-excited state.
The penis loses about 50% of its erection at once, and in less than 5 minutes, it is its normal size.

However, it can take many hours for a man to actually return to his normal state.

This is why sleep often follows ejaculation and orgasm.

After the erection, orgasm and ejaculation, a man moves into something called the refracatory period. During this phase they usually cannot be re-stimulatied (unless this period is very very short in duration).

Understanding your erection lets you control it. For example, as you see yourself moving into stage 3, slow down, step yourself back to stage 2.

In this way you can prolong your sexual experience and more, prolong your partner’s sexual experience.

AUTHOR
Sacha Tarkovsky. MORE FREE INFO On all aspects of how to get more from sex and relationships and eveerything to do with sexuality visit our website for a huge resource of articles, features and downloads and at www.net-planet.org/index.html

The Biggest Mistakes Women Make During Sex with Men

2006-11-06T10:50:00.000-08:00

Compiled from a lot of emails over the years asking for help with relationship issues in general, and sex in particular, we've compiled this list of the gravest errors women can make when it comes to getting down 'n' dirty with their menfolk!

1 Behaving like he's a mind reader - or dropping "clues" about what you want

This is a very feminine game, but it won't get you what you want. Men just don't think that way, and it's disrespectful to later blame them for something they could never figure out from such indirect communication. Drop the games, and be direct. Good communication is everything in a relationship. For example, if you want oral sex, ask him to go down on you. If you're embarrassed about it, use language which makes your meaning clear: "I'd like you to kiss my bits" will do - anything that gets your meaning across. And, though you may find it difficult, if he's working on bringing you to orgasm, he'll need feedback to make sure he carries on enthusiastically. Losing your self in your bliss and not saying anything will make him wonder if you're asleep, dead or uninterested, at which point he'll most likely stop.

2 Resenting him when you don't get what you want

What, didn't you read number 1 above? If you want, say, more foreplay, then you need to say so. If he charges straight into your erogenous zones after a few minutes' kissing, then you need to educate him about what you want. Men are much more quickly aroused than women on the whole, and they simply need slowing down. One great way to do this is to make sure you get an orgasm before you have intercourse (see below). And you can always distract him with a spot of fellatio, or by licking him all over. As a woman you're likely to be more creative than he is, so maybe you can apply your creative skills to sex, and improve it for both of you!

3 Not realizing that "Women come first"!

Well, maybe not in everything, but it's not a bad rule to follow during sex. Men lose interest very rapidly after they've ejaculated: like it or not, that's how they are biologically built (in fact they are programmed to sleep after sex) and unless they're especially sensitive, once they've come, they won't be much interested in your satisfaction. The best way to deal with this is to have extended foreplay which includes him giving you oral sex or pleasuring you with his fingers until you come.....then it's his turn. This way he'll be very turned on, and enjoy a big orgasm when he does come inside you - or in any other way. (And in case you don't know, men really do like the sight, smell and taste of your vulva!)

4 Being much more critical of your body than he is

It's hard for women to believe, but it is true. In general, men are much less critical of your nobody than you are. When you start hiding it during sex, or refusing to enjoy certain sexual positions because you fear what he might think of your body, he's likely to get very disenchanted, very quickly. If you need reassurance that your body is OK, remember rule number 1: ask him for it. Say, for example, "I'm feeling a bit insecure about my tits/bottom/belly/whatever. Do you find them attractive?" or, "Do you like my body?"

5 Not being assertive during sex

It's an old, old stereotype: men lead, women follow. Well, that certainly shouldn't be true all the time in sex. Even if you like him to be masculine and dominant during sex, or even if you like to feel as if you're being "taken" sometimes, it's just as nice for him to see your assertive side. Take the lead from time to time: give him a treat - woman on top or rear entry will push all his sexual buttons and make him wonder if his birthday has come early.

6 Being critical of his performance

Nothing, but nothing, will turn a man off faster (especially if he thinks he's doing well) than being critical. If he comes too soon for you, if he doesn't give you enough pleasure, if he's too rough or he touches you too hard or soft, or whatever, the answer does NOT lie in criticism! Instead, find a way of gently expressing your feelings and tell him what would like instead. For example, "When you don't look at me when you enter me I miss the feeling of intimacy with you" or "I like it when you do that, but I'd like it even more if you slowed down, touched to the side of my clitoris, thrust harder/softer...." and so on.

7 Treating his penis as if it were your clitoris

Which means - handle it more firmly. He'll soon tell you if you do it wrong. In general, men masturbate with much more pressure than is acceptable for a woman: her clitoris is simply too sensitive. You need to do it differently for him, especially as he approaches orgasm, when he really will like a firm touch. (Having said that, he'll still enjoy feather light touches from your well-lubed hand in the early stages of your sex play - try saliva as a quick and easy lube.)

8 Refusing oral sex

Well, this may be contentious, but I'll say it anyway. Most women don't really understand how important oral sex is to men. Sure, you know men like it (how could you not!), but you may not understand how important it is. And this isn't some crude male desire to dominate you. Men love oral sex because the intimacy and trust of the act is signals your love. Taking his penis into your mouth is not just a sign of accepting his penis, but also signals to him your total acceptance of him as a man: in his mind this may be an act of the greatest possible intimacy. By the way - you don't have to let him ejaculate in your mouth, let alone swallow his semen.

By: Rod Phillips
Rod Phillips is a sexual therapist at www.sex-and-relationships.com

French Kissing – Women Love It Learn How To Do It Correctly!

2006-11-06T10:49:00.000-08:00

It’s a fact women particularly love to be kissed and 90% of women claim their partners don’t French kiss them enough or properly. It can be oe of the biggest turn ons for either partner so do it properly and drive your partner wild with passion.

For both men and women the lips are one of the most important erogenous zones and one that many couples neglect which they shouldn’t.

The French kiss is shows your passion is romantic and a great way to start to foreplay.

It is one of the best ways for you to express your feelings for your partner, your emotions and desire.
Here we will focus on the basics French kissing technique that are guaranteed to ignite the embers of passion in both you and your partner.

The French kiss is also a lot of fun so let’s look at French kissing technique

What actually is a French kiss?

Quite simply, French kisses are kisses ones where both partners use their tongues and kissing is probably the most romantic gesture a couple can do.

There is no right or wrong way to French kiss, keep in mind is that everybody kisses differently and different people prefer different ways of kissing.

Try kissing your partner a few times and find out what they like.

While there is no right or wrong way to French kiss, here are a few tips to help you create a memorable one between you and your partner.

Basics

A clean mouth and one with fresh breath and nice teeth will make your partner want to kiss you more. So always go to the dentist regularly and make sure you brush and use mouth wash. Now let’s look at the French kiss.

Relax

You lips should be relaxed, you body should also be relaxed and not stiff, otherwise it will be like kissing a dead fish for your partner you should be relaxed subtle and ready to do it with passion

Open Lips

Open your lips just like you do when regularly breathing through your mouth.

Position yourself

Do not have your face directly opposite your partner or your noses will hit.

You want to move your head to one side so your nose is out of the way of your partners when your lips meet.

Tongue

Open your mouth and put your tongue out around an inch or two.

Your tongue will then go into your partner’s mouth and vice versa.

Circle the tip of your tongue around the tip of theirs.

If they do something different then just do the same as they do, if you are enjoying the sensation you can respond naturally to your partners French kissing and instinctively know what your partner likes.

Basic French kissing techniques are:

1. Flicking

Of the tongue over your partners

2. Exploring

The inside of the mouth with the tongue.

3. Light touching

Of tongues while exploring the inside of the mouth.

The most important point to keep in mind!

Never leave your tongue still or doing nothing.

Make sure is constantly moving showing your passion, feelings and desire while exploring and finding out
what your partner really likes and respond to them.

Head movement

Again all people are different.

Some people will move their heads slightly in a circular motion or figure eight and some times people don’t move at all.

Head movement is simply down to personal preference.

The French kiss is a wonderful experience as Robert Browning said:
“The moment eternal - just that and no more - When ecstasy's utmost we clutch at the core While cheeks burn, arms open, eyes shut, and lips meet!”

He’s right!

By: Sacha Tarkovsky
MORE FREE SEXUALITY INFO

On all aspects of how to get more from sex and relationships and everything to do with sexuality visit our website for a huge resource of articles, features and downloads and at www.net-planet.org/index.html

The Seven Secrets of Successful Sex

2006-11-06T10:47:00.000-08:00

Men: The seven secrets of successful sex.

Men, if you want to satisfy any woman - every time, read on!

Sex can be long, slow and romantic, or it can be quick, urgent and intense. And it often doesn't make much difference to a man's enjoyment whether sex is over in a minute or it takes all night. Indeed, sometimes sex can seem a lot easier if it is over quickly and we don't have to make much of an effort to please our partner. The trouble is, of course, that sex like this is generally very unsatisfying for a woman, and a man who adopts this as his standard lovemaking technique isn't likely to be enjoying sex for very long before his partner departs to find someone more considerate in bed! Here, then, are some simple guidelines which will help to make sex good for both of you - and that way, give you the chance to enjoy it more often!

1 Enjoy foreplay

The big difference between men and women is in the need for foreplay. Even though many women like a quick, intense session of sex once in a while, we know that on average it takes between ten and twenty times as long for a woman to become aroused and ready for intercourse as it does for a man. And even though a woman's vagina may get wet very quickly, most women need a period of foreplay before they are emotionally ready for penetration. What this means in practice is that foreplay needs to last for at least ten - and preferably twenty - minutes if intercourse is going to be a good experience for a woman. But here's the interesting thing - the huge majority of women who enjoy foreplay for twenty minutes will have an orgasm. And since a woman's orgasm is not only satisfying for her, but adds to her partner's excitement as well, you can see it's well worth enjoying your foreplay.

So what does good foreplay involve? You might just see foreplay as a prelude to intercourse, or you might see it as an end in itself which culminates in orgasm for one or both partners - and that's a good alternative to sexual intercourse if you want safe sex, of course. But assuming that foreplay is going to lead up to intercourse, it can take several forms, including:

Kissing - appreciated by every part of the body
Petting - touching, stroking, nibbling
Massage - a variety of pressures and strokes across a women's entire body using scented oils, feathers, silk, or nothing but hands
Masturbation - solo or mutual masturbation
Oral sex - fellatio and cunnilingus

For men, it's a great idea to become an expert in the arts of gentle touching, caressing and kissing. Vary the pressure of your touch or kiss, switch between firm and gentle pressure, pause and resume - all strategies which prevent the foreplay becoming boring. But perhaps the greatest asset that a man can have during foreplay is expertise in the gentle art of pleasuring a woman orally - in other words, be an expert at cunnilingus. In survey after survey, women report that they like cunnilingus above all other forms of sexual activity. This is because it's a reliable route to orgasm for most women - much more reliable than intercourse, and in many cases it's easier than masturbation. It's also an act of real intimacy and trust - qualities which women appreciate in their partner.

There are many websites which offer advice about the best oral sex techniques: for example, the websites in the resource box below offer hints and advice on how to enjoy oral sex, as well as providing a lot of advice about sexual positions, written from the point of view of both a man and a woman.

2 Be sensitive to her needs

Being with a selfish lover is a complete turn-off for a woman. It's no use you just going through the motions - either you're committed to giving her a good time or you're not. And being selfish isn't just about making a dive for her erogenous zones and satisfying yourself after a few perfunctory minutes of foreplay - even if she lets you! To give her a good time you need to be with her emotionally as well as physically, with your attention fully focused on what you're doing. Successful sex comes from being fully present with her during the act of lovemaking - being responsive to her movements, words, and feelings. If you're pleasuring her orally, for example, watch how her body shifts slightly as she moves towards her orgasm. These small movements indicate whether she wants you to move your focus, press harder or more softly, speed up or slow down. And remember that good sex isn't generally the same for women as it is for men: when you masturbate, you probably enjoy increasing the speed and pressure of your hand movements as you get near orgasm. For her, consistency and a steady rhythm are likely to be much more important until she's really on the edge of her orgasm. Only then will a faster rhythm and a harder pressure of your fingers or tongue, depending on what you're doing, help her over the edge and into the bliss of her orgasm.

3 Let her come down from orgasm in an intimate embrace

When a woman reaches orgasm, it can be so intense that she needs a few minutes to recover and come fully back to the here and now. So after she's enjoyed her orgasm, let her rest gently in your arms if that's what she wants, feeling your love and affection before you continue with your sex. Remember the after-effects of orgasm are different for a man and a woman: most men can't get an erection again straight away, and may even lose interest in sex for a while after they have ejaculated. The whole idea of satisfying her before you take your pleasure is so that you don't just reach orgasm, ejaculate, turn over and go to sleep. The guiding principle is "she comes first!" Remember this simple idea, and you'll enjoy much better sex. After a woman's enjoyed her orgasm, it takes her body and mind much longer to lose their arousal than it does for a man. So, after good foreplay, and hopefully an orgasm, she'll still be sexually aroused, ready to enjoy penetration and intercourse with you.

4 Remember that penetration is important to her; make it special and do it elegantly

The act of penetration can be just as important to your partner as it is to you: and you might be surprised to know that her desire to be penetrated by the man she loves and trusts can be just as strong as your desire to penetrate her. Many men forget this. And it's also important to keep in mind that this is a special act for a woman - one that symbolises love, affection and intimacy. So when you get to the moment of penetration, be sensitive and respect the gift she is giving you in allowing you into her body. Exactly how you approach the moment of penetration will depend on the mood of the sex you're enjoying (and the sexual position in which you're enjoying it). Your sex may be assertive, a wonderful meeting of masculine power and feminine receptiveness, or it may be a gentle romantic connection, symbolised by loving eye-contact as you enter her vagina. In either case, be respectful and if it feels appropriate, ask her "May I enter you?" A final word of advice - if you have trouble getting your penis in, don't fumble and fool around: be straight, direct and honest - just ask her to guide you in with her hand. Women hate an incompetent lover.

5 Learn to be a good lover; don't come too soon

Premature ejaculation is a real problem for many men. And it's true that women often don't understand how out-of-control it can feel. In young men, it's often the result of being too excited and aroused - all that testosterone, and the urge to ejaculate quickly is quite natural. Greater lovemaking skill can come with age, but even so many men never bother to learn the simple techniques that could help them last longer in bed. All it requires is the decision to do so, and the will-power to carry that decision through, plus a little help from your partner. See, for example, the websites in the resource box below.

And being a good lover means a few other things too: like ensuring your body and penis are clean before you have sex - the same is true for her vulva, of course. And respecting her wishes as to whether or not you ejaculate in her mouth during oral sex. And not resting all your weight on her unless she likes to feel you resting on top of her. There are many more such things which will make your lovemaking into a wonderful, memorable experience for you both.

6 Respect her feelings

Men very often think that a woman "should" reach orgasm every time she has sex. In fact, very few women will do so - or even want to do so. The hardest thing of all for men to understand is that a woman may not even know before sex starts whether she is going to want to have an orgasm, or be able to do so in that particular session of lovemaking. Men certainly need to grasp that orgasm may not be important for a woman. Instead, the intimacy, the cuddles, the kisses, and just feeling her man inside her may be enough to give her great pleasure and satisfaction during sex. So don't get hung up on "giving" her an orgasm - it's her body, her orgasm, and you're just helping her to discover if she's going to have one that day!

And above all, don't sulk if she doesn't want sex and you do. That's about as ungracious as male behavior gets. You have a hand, so go and do something with it, or ask her if she will help you out.

7 Talk to each other

Talking about sex can be very difficult if you're not used to discussing intimate matters. But good communication is the essence of successful sex - and non-critical communication at that. Be loving at all times: if your partner isn't doing what you want, but they are trying to please you, be kind and gracious in the way you say what you want. A good model is to say something like: "It feel great when you do that, but it would be even better if you moved your hand up a bit." In this way, no one needs to feel unappreciated or criticised. And if there's something really important you need to say to your partner, talk about it afterwards when the emotional heat has died away a bit. Then be straightforward and loving; say what you want and need directly, openly and as son as you can. Leaving things unsaid in the hope that they will go away will seriously interfere with the pleasure you get from your sex life!

AUTHOR
Rod Phillips. Rod Phillips is an online psychosexual counsellor at Sex And Relationships and End Premature Ejaculation Now

Fifty Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex - Part 2

2006-11-06T10:43:00.000-08:00

Just in case you thought the route to sexual bliss was straightforward, here's a list of things to avoid. They're all pretty much guaranteed passion killers for a woman - and if your check list contains more than ten of these, you've got some serious work to do on your sexual etiquette!

26 Failing to give her pleasure if you come quickly

Remember the motto: "Women come first!" As a man, you're probably going to lose interest in sex once you've ejaculated - at least for a while. In which case, make sure she comes through oral sex or masturbation before you enter her. That way, she gets her pleasure and so do you. (With the added bonus that it doesn't matter so much if you shoot quite quickly.) Just to enter her, thrust a few times, come, roll over and forget about her is the mark of a boorish lover, and you wouldn't want to be one of those, now would you?

27 Trying to force her head towards your cock

Let's face it: she's either willing to give your oral sex or she's not. Trying to persuade her to get her lips around your glans by edging her head towards your groin is a bit crass, to say the least. If she doesn't seem to be heading that way as things hot up, just ask her: "There's something you could do that'd give me so much pleasure....."

28 Trying to force her head further down on her cock when she's giving you oral

Yes, once again we know it feels good, but you have to be considerate about it. She's not likely to be a deep throat expert, and there's no reason why she should be, since most of the pleasure of oral sex comes from the action of her tongue on your glans. Keep your hands away from her head unless it's to gently stroke her hair, and you won't feel the temptation to encourage her to go deeper.

29 Holding her head when she goes down on you

Pretty similar to number 28, but this time, holding her head and moving it up and down on your penis is the no-no. If you think that's acceptable sexual etiquette you've been watching too many of the wrong kind of films.

30 Coming in her mouth without asking her if it's OK

The taste of semen is very much an acquired taste; unfortunately it's one that few woman ever acquire. If she doesn't like it, ask her to keep going until the last minute, then tell her when you're going to come so she can move back and finish the job with a well-lubed hand. You'll get just as much pleasure, and she won't have to gag or spit your semen out. By the way, accidentally forgetting to tell her you're going to come is not permitted.

31 Thinking that a porno movie has anything to do with real life

Porn is not good for men's egos. Real life isn't like that, OK?

32 Switching on a hard core porn film without asking whether that's OK with her

Even if you find it arousing, she's not likely to, for the simple reason that much of the porn available today is fairly abusive to women. Ask her first, and if you want to share the erotic thrill of watching people have sex, get hold of some romantic sex movies that will appeal to her emotions as well as her sex drive.

33 Apologizing for the size of your penis

Just in case you ever feel inclined to apologize for not matching up to the guys in the wrong kind of movies, just remember: 98% of women would rather have a sensitive lover than one with a big penis. If you're with one of the other two percent, you need to find a new lover.

34 Answering honestly when she asks you what your last lover was like

Guys, when a woman asks you if her butt is too big, do you tell her the truth? Enough said. Your current lover is always the most gorgeous, sexy and desirable woman around. Even if she doesn't really believe it, that's what she wants to hear.

35 Asking her if she'd mind if her girlfriend joined you

Threesomes can be exciting, but they usually just cause jealousy and upset when one partner unexpectedly finds they don't want their partner making out with another person. Needless to say, this usually happens to the woman. So be sure, be very sure, you know what you're doing before you try this one.

36 Making her do all the work

Changing positions is all very well, but asking her to ride you each time you have sex seems a bit one sided. Vary the positions, have fun, and take equal shares of the work. Don't just settle for one favorite position and flog it to death.

37 Trying to slip it in the back door by "accident"

Anal sex is something that a lot fewer couples have tried than you'd believe from what you read on the internet or see in porn. It's something you might like to try, but you both have to want to do it. She's not likely to respond with warmth if you keep pretending you're poking her anus by accident. And she won't believe you if you tell her you just didn't want to ask for directions, even if that's how you are when you're driving around lost, looking for somewhere.

38 Photographing or videoing your lovemaking

Unfortunately, as many jilted lovers can testify, taking pictures while you enjoy sex is putting power in the hands of the person who has the pictures. A good compromise is to link your video camera direct to your TV without recording the images. That way you can have the erotic thrill of seeing yourself during sex without having to worry about seeing yourself having sex on the internet in a few years' time.

39 Getting into the same old same old routine every time you have sex

Above almost everything else (except possibly being deeply in love), ringing the changes when you make love is the thing that will keep your sex life fresh and passionate. You'll be surprised just how exciting it can be when you try a new position. This is simply because every position puts a different pressure on the penis and vagina, or gives you a new perspective of your partner's body, or perhaps allows you to see entering your partner's body, and so on. Exactly which sex position feels most pleasurable will depend on the shape and size and shape of your penis and her vagina.

40 Not romancing her

Women love romance. Men put up with it, or do it to get sex. True or false? Probably true, but the romantic "chase" is deeply rewarding for most men (i.e. seducing and winning a woman makes us feel deeply fulfilled), and romance is an essential part of that process. If you're able to continue being romantic once you're an established couple, then you set yourself head and shoulders above the rest of your fellow men, and you stand that much greater chance of getting regular, passionate sex.

41 Slapping her buttocks without checking if she's into a little dominance play

No mater how exciting you may find the idea, don't land a heavy slap on her butt without trying a few lighter ones first and seeing how she reacts. If you do, you may get a slap in the face. Or a kick in the balls.

42 Trying to do sex by the book (or the film)

Don't copy the moves you see in porn films. They lack a certain something. Consideration for the woman, that would be.

43 Playing with her anus before she's excited enough to appreciate it

When you're masturbating her clitoris, and you have a finger inside her vagina, you may find that she responds well to a little anal play. If you have the position right, you can use your little finger to tickle gently at her anus as your forefinger plays with her G-spot. This may well add to her excitement - especially if she's on the verge of orgasm. If you try this before she's really excited and has stopped caring what's happening to her, you might just turn her off completely, so it might not be a bad idea to check it out with her in advance.

44 Deafening her by shouting in her ear when you come

An easy mistake to make, especially if you like to have sex in the man on top position lying close to your partner, and you like to let the world know when you come. Unfortunately she won't let you do it a second time, so bury your face in the pillow or something if you're prone to uncontrollable vocal ejaculations as well as physical ones.

45 Talking dirty without checking if she likes it

Generally a little consensual dirty talk between adults adds to the excitement. The first time your partner tells you to f*** her hot wet c*** you'll see what I mean. If that hasn't happened yet, and you'd like it to, encourage her to talk dirty to you when you're making love, and see what pops out of her mouth. You might be surprised. Remember legend has it that the quiet ones are often the most surprising in bed!

46 Lying on top of her without supporting your weight on your arms

Always remember: a gentleman takes his weight on his arms. Or elbows, or knees, or something.

47 Ejaculating on her without asking permission

Coming between her breasts or on her vulva or bottom can be incredibly exciting, but it's nice to ask her first. She may see it less a mark of your ejaculatory prowess or manhood than a mess to clear up.

48 Not controlling your ejaculation

Like we said before, a good lover makes the effort to make sure his partner is satisfied before he is.

49 Not spending some time with her in your arms after sex

A man who gets up after he's done the business and sets about his daily routine is probably top of most women's sexual dislikes. For her, this is a special time when a woman feels very close to her partner. She takes much longer to come down from sex than a man does, she wants to know she's loved and special, and she wants to feel adored by the man to whom she has just given her most precious asset. The very least you can do is to spend a half hour or so cuddling her while you relax after making love, even if you're not going to spend the night with her.

50 Not cleaning up after sex

And since sex inevitably involves a certain amount of fluids, keep the tissues handy for afterwards. If you feel like being chivalrous, offer her a warm towel to clean herself, especially if you aren't using condoms.

There you go! And if you've got any more sexual tips for sexual success, send them to us at the email address in the box below.

AUTHOR
Rod Phillips is an online sexual counselor at Sex and Relationships. Send your sex tips to tips@sex-and-relationships.com , For more information on controlling your ejaculation, see:End Premature Ejaculation Now!.

Fifty Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex - Part 1

2006-11-06T10:40:00.000-08:00

Just in case you thought the route to sexual bliss was straightforward, here's a list of things to avoid. They're all pretty much guaranteed passion killers for a woman - and if your check list contains more than ten of these, you've got some serious work to do on your sexual etiquette!

1 Going straight for the naughty bits

You've got to be sensitive to the fact that a woman is more likely to be irritated than aroused when a man dives for her breasts and vulva after a few minutes' perfunctory kissing. While you might get to feel the goods, you're not going to be invited back.

2 Not knowing how to kiss sensitively

Passionate or sensitive, firm or gentle, good kissing is an art form which lubricates the wheels of sex and gets everyone in the mood for more intimacy. Learn how to kiss, and do it well. That doesn't mean sticking your tongue in her mouth and wiggling it around like you're trying to floss her teeth.

3 Being too rough when you touch her erogenous zones

Men like a firmer touch than women, especially when it comes to our penises. So if you touch her clitoris with as much force as you apply to your penis when you masturbate, she's most likely to howl with pain - and then kick you out of bed. Remember: the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the penis, in a much smaller area. Treat it with respect. It's the only organ in the human body that has no function other than to provide pleasure.

4 Not stroking and caressing her

A woman's second biggest sex organ is her skin. (The first is her mind.) You can make your touch on any part of her body into a sexy caress, but you have to focus on what you're doing and put some sexual energy into your fingers while you caress her. That means not thinking about the baseball game while you're giving her a sensuous massage.

5 Locking onto her nipples like a suckling child

Yes, we know it's fun for you. To her it just feels like she's got a teething infant hanging off her breast. Lick and kiss around her whole breast before you go for the nipple, then flick your tongue gently across the nipple and around the areolae. If she likes what you're doing, you'll know by her moans of pleasure.

6 Biting on her earlobe because you think it's sexy

She may not agree with you. In which case it will just be irritating for her, not a prelude to her turning into the sex goddess you thought you were summoning up.

7 Leaving a hickey on her neck like a teenage badge of honor

If you're over sixteen, this is a no-no. If you need to know why, you're obviously under sixteen.

8 Not shaving before sex

When you're in the throes of passion, having your beard stubble brushing back and forth across her face isn't so sexy, but at least it'll produce a red rash she can remember you by.

9 Not washing your pits and bits before you have sex

If there's one thing that turns women off, it's a lover whose personal hygiene isn't up to scratch. Even though men have a higher smell threshold than women, keeping yourself clean - especially in the more intimate corners of your anatomy (like under your foreskin) - is not just a matter of courtesy, it's a ticket back to the bedroom.

10 Forgetting she has a sensuous body waiting to be stroked

Pretty much the same point we already made up above, but worth remembering: touch doesn't just have to be in the bedroom, a prelude to sex. In fact, if you touch her a lot in a loving way during the day, she'll be ready to melt into your arms by bedtime.

11 Trying to get your fingers in her underwear before she's ready

This is the mark of a gauche teenage lover who wants to get to fourth base just so he feels more accomplished as a lover. Take your time, let things evolve naturally, and apply a little sensuous touch on the fabric covering her vulva before you dive under the elastic. The hint of what's to come is often more erotic than diving straight in there.

12 Dropping the condom on the floor

Must we say why this isn't the most popular move post sex? Dispose of the condom tidily in a tissue - put it in the bin rather than down the toilet, or it's likely to float there for some time to come as a reminder of your sexual encounter.

13 Going straight for the clitoris during oral sex or masturbation

Like we said above, most women just find this irritating - and, if you press too hard, bloody uncomfortable too. Your first caresses should be on her labia, the lips of her vulva, then as she gets more aroused, you can work nearer the clitoris itself. But even when she's aroused a soft touch along the sides of her clitoris may be more acceptable for her than any pressure on the head of her clitoris.

14 Breaking off just as she's getting to the point where she wants you to keep going at all costs

Women often get so lost in their sexual arousal that they forget to give feedback. In reality, the fact that she's lying there quietly may actually mean she loves what you're doing; if so, you should feel her pressing her vulva against your mouth or fingers, or shifting like she wants more touch, rather than giving you a sense that she'd rather be out shopping.

15 Undressing her clumsily

Listen up guys: you don't have to be able to take her bra off with one hand, behind her back, while kissing her. In fact, in my experience, it's better if you don't try. She probably puts it on by fastening it first and pulling it over her head anyway. Let her take off the garments you don't understand, and whenever you do lend a helping hand, undress her gently and sensuously rather than pulling at her clothes like you're ripping the paper off a birthday present.

16 Undressing yourself inelegantly - which includes taking your socks off after your underwear

Nothing is more comical (or pathetic) to a woman than a man in his socks and pants. Except possibly a naked man wearing socks. If you don't understand why, just accept that it is so.

17 Expecting her to shave for you

You might like the baby smooth look around her vulva, but she's more likely to see this as a prickly route to itchy stubble. Ask her nicely if you'd like her to go smooth. If she says "no", accept that graciously.

18 Sticking a finger up her vagina before she's ready, willing and able

In general, women do like to be penetrated just as much as men like to penetrate, which, considering how much men like to stick things up there, is just as well. However, she'll only want you to do this when the time is right - i.e. when she's aroused enough to enjoy it. If you're giving her clitoris attention, there'll be a point where she might like to have a finger or two inside her. If so, be gentle, and start with one finger on her G-spot. Make sure she enjoys this before you put another one up there. Two fingers on her G-spot is probably as much as she will want. And be just as firm with your touch as she finds pleasurable. If you don't know what the G-spot is, then do some Google-ing before you get into bed.

19 Entering her without asking her first

What is it with men and these dark, wet places? Just keep in mind that she decides how far sex goes, and if she doesn't want to enjoy intercourse then don't press the point. This applies especially to any strategy that involves nudging your penis into position and then pressing forward without her consent, verbal or otherwise! Having said that, you don't always need to ask "May I enter you?" though it can be a romantic and sexy thing to do if you're looking deep into her eyes. Needless to say, that's most likely to happen in the man on top position, which, by the way, remains everyone's most popular position for sex.

20 Pecking away around her vagina with your penis if you can't find the way in

This is, by all accounts, many women's least desired sexual moment. If for any reason you can't get in, don't pretend you're in control and keep trying. Simply ask her to guide you in with her hand. That way you'll save a lot of embarrassment, not to mention time.

20 Pumping away without regard for her pleasure

When you've achieved your most desired objective, and your penis is inside her, you'll want to show a certain consideration for her pleasure. She may want hard and fast thrusting, but it's best to start slow and shallow. While you're making love, she'll most appreciate your efforts if you're masculine and strong - which is to say, if you act like you know what you're doing, you're considerate and gentle at first, and work up to firm and strong thrusts if she likes them.

21 Expecting her to make love bottom up

Yes, we all enjoy rear entry. But she may be more self-conscious of her butt, she may feel like a sex object, and she may not like the rather impersonal nature of this position. If you really want to do it, and you explain to her why you like it so much (i.e. "It's incredibly exciting to see your gorgeous bottom as we make love", rather than "I get so turned on fucking from behind") she'll probably co-operate from time to time, even if it's only on your birthday and hers.

22 Thrusting too hard

If you happen to be well-endowed, or she has a short vagina, and you thrust too hard, you may end up banging her cervix. This can make her shriek, though sadly not with sexual pleasure.

22 Coming before she's got excited or begun to enjoy sex

There aren't many men who can last long enough to really satisfy a woman who enjoys vaginal intercourse and G-spot stimulation. If you can't be bothered learning how to be a long lasting lover, then at least have the decency to keep going for a few minutes so she gets some pleasure. This isn't hard, and there are plenty of ways you can learn to extend intercourse and not come so quickly. Do some research on Google for "end premature ejaculation". See also number 26.

23 Not coming at all - or losing your erection when you put the condom on

If you're one of that rarer breed of men who has trouble coming during intercourse, may we respectfully suggest you see a sexual therapist? You can then deal with this problem, learn to come more quickly, and avoid giving her a numb vagina and an intimate knowledge of the exact shade of color you painted your bedroom ceiling. If you're one of the many men who lose their erection when the condom comes out of its foil wrapper and onto the head of your penis, it's back to Google for a search on, surprisingly enough, "losing erection when putting on a condom".

24 Asking her how it was for her

This is not the mark of a confident lover, so if you really want some feedback, phrase it thus: "Did you prefer it when I did X or Y?"

25 Not going down on her when she wants oral pleasure

Since oral sex on a woman is so pleasurable for most men, this seems unlikely. But if it's a question of the smell or taste being a bit much for you, try taking a shower or bath together before sex. If you just want her to fellate you and you simply can't be bothered to reciprocate with cunnilingus, then reading these tips isn't going to help you much anyway.

AUTHOR
Rod Phillips is an online sexual counselor at Sex and Relationships. Send your sex tips to tips@sex-and-relationships.com , For more information on controlling your ejaculation, see:End Premature Ejaculation Now!.

How to Enhance Your Love Life with Erotic Hypnosis

2006-10-17T10:34:00.000-07:00

Enhancing your love life is something that every long term relationship eventually requires and it can be done with erotic hypnosis easily and quickly. Sooner or later your love life will be affected by the regular stresses of everyday life and many other factors that may make your love life seem lacking. Often we hear that our partners are too tired to make love or perhaps there is a problem in the relationship that make love making just a bit more difficult than it used to be. Erotic hypnosis can keep both of you stimulated in preparation for good sex.

For starters it helps for you to be able to incorporate playfulness in the bedroom. Using erotic hypnosis can be fun and exciting, as well as funny. It helps dissolve tension and also helps you to get closer to your mate.

Learning how to become more spontaneous when it comes to erotic hypnosis can also help you to improve your love life. The reason for this is because it lets your mate know that you still find them sexy and attractive, which is the key to a great love life. Here are some more tips to making your love life better:

1. Try to add some spice into your relationship by bringing toys to the bedroom with you. It can really make a huge difference.
2. Role playing is a great way for you to be able to make your love life a great deal better. It is also a good way to explore fantasies.
3. Explore your fantasies with your mate and be very specific in your requests. Just be sure that both you and your mate are comfortable with your ideas.
4. Be willing to talk openly with your mate about what you want in the bedroom. Use sexual talk in explicit yet stylish ways.
5. Having an open mind toward sex is a key component in keeping your love life secure. Use erotic hypnosis to keep the excitement alive.
6. Having sex in different areas other than the bedroom can spice up any relationship and add a sense of danger to it.
7. Trying new and different positions can really make a difference in your love life.

There are just so many things that you can do to make your love life better that it can be difficult to settle on any one in particular. I recommend using erotic hypnosis, as it is a really powerful way to keep the passion alive in your love life.
If you are willing to explore new territories, like erotic hypnosis, it can lead you to a more fulfilling sex life with your partner. Most of what is needed is an open mind because that is when the inhibitions are lower. A good sex life is very important to any relationship and a willingness to do whatever you can to spice things up helps as well.

Author
By Abbas Abedi--- Get More Information At My Blog Stop Smoking Hypnosis

Elements Of A Relationship

2006-10-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

We all know what we need and want out of a loving, healthy relationship. There may be a slight variance; however, there are some basic solid principles that stand up to create relationship guidelines. It has occurred to me, that perhaps the reason it is so difficult for people to find a long-term, meaningful and satisfying relationship is that we are asking for things that we cannot even give to ourselves. If we expect another person to follow these “guidelines” and fit into the mold of what we conceive of as a loving partner, shouldn’t we begin by having a fabulous relationship with ourselves?

Let’s look at five of the basic requirements of what should be in place for a relationship to take off and possibly lead to marriage. Honestly, respect, loyalty, physical attraction, and a fun loving enthusiastic personality. Let’s breakdown these five characteristics and see where it leads us.

Honesty: perhaps one of the most important elements of a trusting and loving relationship. If you are in a relationship with a person who does not possess a high standard of honesty, you will never be able to fully trust them. When in a relationship, we should be able to completely and unequivocally believe everything that our partner tells us. If a person lies, you mind as well be having a fake and meaningless conversation.

Are you even honest with yourself? When you’re out clothes shopping and you have acquired more than a handful of clothes, do you tell yourself that it’s alright to add the bill to your credit card and that you deserve to splurge, (despite that fact that your way over your head in debt)? Are you in out of relationships and in each instance you tell yourself that the other person was at complete fault, that you had absolutely no contributing factors for any of the breakups that you’ve endured? Do you sometimes find yourself yelling at a loved one and you tell yourself that you had every right to make them feel horrible? If any of these apply to you, you are not even honest with yourself. How can you expect the person of your next relationship to be honest to you?

Respect: a word that calls for attention. No one in their right mind would be happy if someone disrespected them. How many of you have spent a night of drinking with friends during the week, woke up the next day with a splitting headache and wanted to or did call into work sick? Did you then tell yourself that you are just fine, you do not drink too much and you have everything under control? When it’s late at night, you’re starving, and about to reach into the fridge for a snack, do you tell yourself that it’s not a big deal if you eat half that pint of ice cream, even though you are on a diet for health reasons? As you take a deep drag off of your cigarette, do you tell yourself that you’ll quit “someday” , that you’re just fine for now and cancer is something that you only need to think about in the future? If any of these apply to you then you do not have complete respect for yourself. And once again, how can you expect a person in a relationship to have show respect?

Loyalty: A key element in any relationship. If we don’t have loyalty from another person, we can not truly feel safe in the relationship. How many of you have worked for a company and declared your loyalty to that company and then gave your two-weeks-notice when a position opened up elsewhere that paid more money? How many of you have never cheated on another person? By this, cheating will be defined by kissing another, have a secret meeting for lunch or dinner, phone calls, or yes, even sex, while in a relationship with anyone. If any of these apply to you, you have not displayed loyalty. And now you are asking for it from someone else?

Physical attraction: A needed component of a healthy relationship. We have instilled in us certain needs that make us attracted or not attracted to another person. If we are in a relationship, we certainly want to feel a high attraction to the other person, which leads to a great sex life and a general feeling of compatibility. What is your perception of yourself? When you glance in a mirror, do you think about the wrinkles you see? When you’re getting dressed, do you try on ten different outfits because you feel that the first nine made you look fat? Do you grimace at the thought of parading around the beach in a bikini because you think that everyone in the world should look “model perfect”? No one can look like a model, except for models! Even then, if you knew the makeup, hair stylists and airbrushing that was involved you would understand that they do not even look like themselves in “real life”. If any of the above applies to you, you do not have a good self-image and/or you have low self-esteem. If you are not even attracted to yourself, do you think it’s fair to expect your partner in the relationship to be great looking and be attracted to you? They look at clues that you exude, ie: self-confidence and it helps gauge their opinions of your looks. Start appreciating the unique person that you are.

Lastly, a fun loving, enthusiastic personality. No one in a relationship wants to spend a large amount of time with someone who is boring, dull and unable be fun companions. Do you dread waking up in the morning because you hate your job? Alternatively, do you love your career and concentrate on it so much, leaving very little time for fun in your life? Do you run through your chores at home complaining about the never-ending mess on the floor, laundry that never seems to go away and dishes that seem to appear out of nowhere? Do you go through the food store as fast as possible, no smile on your face and a “get out of my way “expression? If you spend most of your life annoyed at things and you don’t take time out to appreciate life, how can you be a fun partner in a relationship and at the same time expect the other person to be one? Life’s is far from perfect, but to be someone’s “special” love, you need to slow the heck down and realize that having a bad outlook on life is going to get you nowhere.

Honesty, loyalty, respect, physical attraction, and a great personality: do you want these elements in a perspective relationship? If so, ask yourself a very important question. If you cannot have a good relationship with yourself, how can you expect to find one with another person?

Author
Alisa Chagnon is webmaster and sole writer for Love Bulletin. www.lovebulletin.com . Strong and sound advice on dating, relationships, romance, marriage and breakups. Updated daily and weekly.

5 Secrets to Creating the Most Satisfying Relationship You Can Possibly Imagine

2006-10-17T10:23:00.000-07:00

Copyright 2006 Don McAvinchey

One of the great and wonderful mysteries about relationships happens when I run across a couple who truly enjoys being together. I've often wondered how they did that.

When I've found such a couple, it seems that there are particular practices that they engage in that bring them the happiness and satisfaction that we all seek in a relationship. They have a secret, and I personally wanted to find out what it was!

So I set about compiling what those clients and friends who have great relationships do to keep their connection good, loving and satisfying. This article, and these 5 Steps, is what I've discovered.

If you're in a relationship, and you'd like to make it be even a better one than you're experiencing now, I recommend that you focus on these steps over the next few months, and see what happens. Hey, if you don't change something in how you're approaching your relationship, how will it ever change?

Give these 5 steps a chance, and I guarantee you things will be better!

1.Take on the challenge to just be you in connecting with the other person.

a. Practice developing the courage and skills needed to be you, and at the same time go for connection. That's the Big Paradox!

b. Exercise the difference between compromising your desires, and compromising the form you select together for achieving them. Once you get this one, it'll all be easier.

c. Who am I in this relationship? One way to find out is to examine what you're getting from your partner and see how much of what you're receiving is a reflection of you...love and caring, or frustration and distance? Now, what are you giving to your partner in your actions? Love and caring, or frustration and distance? Can't have it both ways, so why not change you so the "between space" will naturally change?

2. Women and men are different.

a. Duh.

b. But do you accept it, really, with love and compassion? That's the rub. If you find yourself frustrated over how he or she doesn't think/act/feel like you want them to, maybe you're trying to get them to change to be like you. Good luck on that one.

c. Celebrating La Difference! might be a better and more effective path to take. Here's a question then: What is it about your partner that you find precious and delightful? Find that first, and then you'll begin to celebrate that men and women are different.

3. Whatever you think about your current relationship is wrong.

a. Your story about your partner is just that, a story. It's made up by you, not them. How do you like your story about your partner?

b. Is it possible to "know" the other person, underneath your story about them? Yes. But you may have to work at letting go of your story, and discover the person instead. Can you do this? Certainly. Will you? Ah, that's the real question, isn't it?

c. What is the one "truth" you're holding onto about your partner or relationship that is getting in your way? Find it, and release it.

4. Your story about relationship shapes connection in your life.

a. What are the themes that you see repeating in relationships in your life? Looking for repetitive themes produces wisdom about relationship. Are you brave enough to look at yourself and discover what you continually create?

b. Can these repetitive themes be changed? Of course. They're just habits of thinking and feeling. The easiest way is to replace them with a more preferred habit. So what would you prefer about relationship? Now go be the change.

c. Begin to write a new preferred story about relationship in your life. Take steps to act more lovingly, more caringly, and more honestly. Show your affection. Insist on being a leader in your relationship in being compassionate.

5. Fall in love with your partner, rather than continuing to be in love with the story you're holding onto about your partner.

a. What are your expectations of your partner that aren't being fulfilled?

b. Would you be willing to let go of them, at least a little bit, to explore who your partner really is? (Don't promise lightly, this is another big challenge!)

c. Open your heart to your partner, and to yourself. This will require a big leap on your part, if your story about your partner is a negative one. Loving yourself enough to be willing to both change your own behavior, as well as to insist on a more loving foundation for your relationship, can bring tons of fulfillment. But you have to take the first step to get to know who your partner really is. Will you take this courageous step?

To enhance your relationship, take these steps and put them into action one at a time over the next few weeks. By following these steps, you can become a successful couple who has great happiness and satisfaction in your relationship.

Author
Spiritual Coach Don McAvinchey helps people learn to put their lives first at The Month of Miracles Community. To sign up for more free tips like these and claim your FREE e-course gift, Getting Unstuck and Back on Track, visit his site at www.getunstuck.info

Is it OK to fake an Orgasm?

2006-10-09T13:22:00.000-07:00

Is there something wrong with a woman that has not experienced an orgasm?

These are a couple of questions that I have been getting asked more and more, so I thought why not address them through my articles? As much as I have written this for my ladies, men you can benefit from reading this little bit of info also!

There is nothing physically wrong with women that have not experienced the big O! They simply just have not learned how. It is very much a mental exercise as well as physical. Way back when..., we were taught that it was a bad thing to touch ourselves (masturbate). That was a big wrong turn for a lot of women. I have read a lot of letters from women that tell me that they were in their late 20`s before they ever experienced an orgasm, one that they would consider an orgasm anyway. This is why I express over and over, ladies learn about YOUR BODY! Orgasms are very connected to ones mind when dealing with the female. If you are worried or tired or feeling a bit at odds with your partner, that door is definitely going to be locked, even nailed shut. It will take some work and patience to find the key to open up that mind trap.

Too many women spend way too much time worrying about orgasms. Worry only puts up the walls that will totally disable your mind to relax and float. Think of watching and waiting for water to boil. By the time it has boiled you have lost interest. Or when you are trying to call someone and the line is forever busy, that just frustrates you to no end. If you would have just carried on with something else at the time, the water would have boiled before you knew it, the phone line would be cleared, and you would be frustration free! Orgasms work in very much the same way. Do not think about them. Do prepare for them, feel your body call them, desire them, fantasize, open your mind up to a total zone of passion. Pure thoughtless passion!

Some women feel that if they do not orgasm, their partner will feel that they have failed them, or vice verse. (GUILT) There is absolutely no room for guilt or shyness in the arena of sex! This is one of the reasons women FAKE the O! It does not do any real physical harm to fake most things in life. The only one that is losing out though, is you. You are fooling no one but yourself. Then you end up feeling even worse because you pretended at a time when you should be open and real.

There is also the time thing. Women are in need of more stimulation and time to relax and be able to find their zone. Men tend to think that five minutes is just super...NOT...so ladies this is where communication comes into play. You must tell your man that NO, I am not there yet. I know this sounds bossy, but most men hardly ever have a problem telling the women what to do in bed and when to not stop. Also ladies please tell your man to do like the yellow pages commercial, "Let your fingers do the walking". Women like and need the finger play. Also ladies if your man is just down there asap...tell him to slow down. This can also throw women off when they are feeling rushed.

When you are close to your partner and feel that sex is in the air, enjoy even just the kiss at first. I mean really enjoy just the kiss. Allow your body to warm up and get your juices flowing. Or really feel his touches, and listen to your partners voice when he says your name. If he never says your name, tell him too. He will oblige immediately. Tell him you want to hear him admire your body. A women on the norm has a hard time verbalizing what she likes. This is just because we were raised to be nice girls. Well, TALK! You will be surprised at how much more relaxed you become and excited once you can talk to your partner about touching where and how. Tell your partner to join you in that little game. A women's body will react very nicely if you just allow the feelings of a kiss to penetrate you.

Another turn on for you ladies is to touch yourself while your partner watches. Yes, you will love it once you allow him into your world. He will not say no to that request. To see or hear how excited he gets watching you enjoying your body is another very big turn on for you. This is also a very good way to keep your mind away from the, "will I or won`t I" question. Think of anything but the ultimate O!

G-spot orgasms are pretty easy to reach. We can get there as easy as men have the ability to get hard. To get there just tell your man to do the, "walking". Or take his hand and guide him down to where your body is wanting his touch. G-Spot orgasms feel nice and they are basically our juice fountain, that is when we get very wet. This is when your body prepares for penetration.

It is the clitoral Orgasm that most women are after. Those ones will shake your ground. But again, these are mind connected. I will say I am speaking for the norm of women. Every women is different to a degree, but we are basically after the same thing. We all want to feel that intense vibration and the total body rush that runs through our body. It is an adrenaline rush like no other. To know we have that kind of control in our minds and bodies also boosts our self-esteem! That my Ladies is a very good thing!

Some women are sensitive enough that they will react instantly to a touch. That is not always that good. Her orgasm at that point will be quick and over before she even gets to really appreciate it. The longer it takes to reach that ,"O" Zone, the more intense the orgasm. That is another reason you want to learn to control your body. Eventually you will be able to tell your mind when and where!

A very, very good way to learn about your body is to bring yourself to orgasm. I tell women that all the time. You need to know and be able to connect with your own mind before you can allow someone to do it for you. Once you can learn to control your minds ability to fantasize or totally zone out, your body will follow naturally. Ladies again, it is so important to learn this because it keeps your mind off whether or not the O is going to happen. Once you have learned about your body, you will be able to bring that O on yourself just with your mind. A little hand stimulation is also your minds best friend here. You will know how much stimulation you will need at the time. You will eventually know your entire body`s secret passages to feeling. Yes! Very yummy. So my words here, are to get to know your secrets.. and HAVE FUN!

Remember Ladies, men are not born with your road map to orgasm. First you need to draw it for him. Then show it to him. From there it is totally the big," O" every time. This is my recipe to the one thing that women can do over and over again, without a rest period. Ha!! Sorry guys, we were born that way.

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Laughter and Orgasms are Great Bedfellows

John Callahan

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When modern woman discovered the orgasm, it was combined with modern birth control, perhaps the biggest single nail in the coffin of male dominance.

AUTHOR
Dorothy Lafrinere Owner/Operator Website- www.womensselfesteem.com Forum- womenselfesteem.proboards29.com

Female Orgasm Training Can Be A Factor

2006-10-09T13:18:00.000-07:00

One of the most interesting phenomenons I've witnessed in dealing with human sexuality is the ability of people to train themselves into having an orgasm. Any one who has ever masturbated has engaged in a self-training program which has taught them how to orgasm. Before we talk about female training, I'll give you an example from male sexuality.

I worked with a male once who was a regular masturbator. During masturbation, he fantasized about having his partner bent over the edge of a couch and engaging in rear penetration, not anal sex. For months he used this same fantasy to help him reach orgasm during masturbation. This affected his sex life. When he was having sex with his partner, he found that he was losing his erection and finding it difficult to climax in any other position.

The only way he was able to reach orgasm during actual sex was by imitating what he had been doing in his masturbation fantasies. Essentially, he had trained himself about how to get off.

Men are not the only ones who train themselves. In fact, the training men do usually does not interfere with their ability to reach an orgasm during actual intercourse. With women, it's different.

Women train themselves in two ways. First, they train themselves to reach orgasm using specific techniques. Second, they train themselves for each orgasm using certain fantasies. Let's talk about both of these.

When women begin masturbating, they do tend to try multiple ways of accomplishing the goal. Once they find something that works then they stick to it. Let me give you an example. One woman I worked with had been masturbating with a vibrator for about ten years. She had to use the same vibrator every time because she claimed no other vibrator could bring her to orgasm. With sexual partners, she would fake orgasm then excuse herself to the bathroom where she would reach a real orgasm using her vibrator. After a decade of relying on the same toy and the same technique to reach orgasm, this young woman had taught her body how to have an orgasm. Since her partner's penis was not her vibrator, it was not capable of doing the job.

To his credit, he did try a variety of things to help her but the problem really wasn't his alone to fix. She had to re-train her body.
The second method of training often begins even before a woman ever masturbates. As soon as girls begin fantasizing about men, they are beginning to train their bodies about how to reach orgasm. I have another example to share which illustrates this fact as well. A woman I worked with had been relying on the same fantasies during masturbation for almost two decades. Her preference were rape fantasies in which she was the victim and was non-violently coerced into having intercourse with multiple partners. The fantasies involved different scenarios, locations, and men but the basics were all the same.

Even when she tried to have other fantasies, they would always end up deteriorating into a rape fantasy before she was able to orgasm. The only time she was able to reach an orgasm with her husband was when they attempted to act out her fantasy. Like the other woman, she had to re-train her mind about what turned her on and what would lead her to an orgasm.

The reason I'm sharing these stories with you is because orgasm training is one of the biggest, yet most often unrecognized, reasons for women's difficulties in reaching an orgasm.

The only way to break free of that old training is through experimentation. The more the two of you try different things the more likely she is to find something else that can help her climax.

Keep in mind that there are a number of reasons why women may have more difficulty reaching an orgasm than men will. Those reasons include social pressures not to enjoy sex, a lack of trust in the relationship, anatomical differences between men and women, and limited orgasm training.

Understanding what may be hampering your sexual relationship will help you determine the best course of action to take in order to enjoy mutually satisfying sex.

AUTHOR INFO
Gabrielle Moore created the program located at www.femaleorgasmrevealed.com to help men please women every time.

Myths About The Female Orgasm

2006-10-03T10:49:00.000-07:00

Author: Vincent Madisson
Visit author's website

Let me share with you two of the most common myths about the female orgasm

Myth 1: Women can reach orgasm more easily if her partner has a large penis.

Men who have worried for eons about the size of their penis can relax. The truth is that size really doesn't matter all that much. Since only the first two inches of a woman's vagina are sensitive to stimulation, anything over that amount is kind of useful during intercourse, at least from the woman's physical perspective. In fact, when men are overly concerned with the size of their penis and whether it's sufficient, their minds aren't focused on pleasuring their partner and that is no way to experience female orgasm. A survey done by the Kinsey Institute found that the average size of an erect penis measured from the tip to where it connects with the rest of the body is 6.16 inches (15.65 centimeters) in length. The girth of an erect penis is 4.84 inches (12.29 centimeters) on average. Both of these statistics are come as a surprise to men and to women who have been convinced by our culture (and possibly pornographic movies and magazines) that the average size of an erect penis is eight or nine inches. That same Kinsey study actually found that less than 2% of men have penises which meet that requirement.

Remember whether a man's penis size is below, above, or just average, he still has the ability to help his partner reach orgasm and that is far more worthy of praise than a few extra inches of penis.

Myth 2: If a woman does not have an orgasm, she did not enjoy the sex.

Most women have had the experience of being asked by their partner during sex if they are going to "get off." This myth is the reason for that question. The majority of men believe that sex without an orgasm is not pleasurable for a woman, but that's not true. First of all, even though orgasms are a wonderful part of the sexual experience, there is more involved than that. For couples, sex is generally a physical expression of love and closeness. Many women report enjoying this part of the experience immensely even when it is not followed by an orgasm. Second, just because there's no climax that doesn't mean the rest of the experience didn't feel good. An orgasm is an intense pleasurable feeling but it is not the sole source of sexual pleasure for a woman. Just as men enjoy the actual act of intercourse, so do women. Third, when men ask about whether or not a woman is going to climax, he is putting pressure on her to deliver and this generally leads to faking orgasms which actually detracts from her experience and could detract from his as well if he discovers the truth. Furthermore, when a partner is truly in tune with a woman's body, they don't have to ask that question: the signs of a building orgasm are unmistakable and cannot be faked.

How to Easily Reach the G-Spot

2006-09-25T11:21:00.000-07:00

By: Harry Lloyd

The G-spot, or Grafenberg spot, is certainly the most popular topic, with the penis size, on websites discussing sex issues, male and female health. This spot was named after Ernst Granfeberg, the famous German gynecologist who first described it in 1950, in his paper The Role of Urethra in Female Orgasm. Grafenberg was a German born doctor (Adelebsen 1881 – New York 1957), of Jewish confession. Arrested by the Nazis in 1937, he escaped in 1940 with the help of friends of the International Society of Sexology, and emigrated to California.

Before trying to reach this spot, we must know where it is located. The g-spot is something like a female prostate located between the pubic bone and the cervix on the top side of vagina. The g-spot is a part of the urethral sponge, a tissue playing a great role during arousal : if correctly stimulated, this area can be very pleasurable, and lead to orgasm during sexual intercourse. Note that other women could also feel the urge to urinate when this spot is stimulated.

Indeed, this urethral tissue or sponge is like a cushion against the pubic bone and the vagina wall, surrounding the urethra. Mainly made of erectile tissue, filled with blood during arousal, it has a compressing effect on the urethra, preventing urination during sex. This tissue also contains the Skene’s glands, able to produce the famous female ejaculation (usually a fluid of clear color) men are so curious about. Other scientists think the g-spot is not really a physical spot, but more probably the clitoris deepest nerves passing through the urethral tissue and connecting with the spinal column.

An important point is that the fluid produced by the Skene’s glands during orgasm passes through urethra (as urine does) but must not be considered as urine or as an effect of urinary incontinence. This clear colored fluid is similar to what is produced by the prostate and that is why we can speak about female ejaculation.

The structure of this important tissue also varies during time and after the age of 30, occurring changes make the g-spot easier to reach. This is why women after 30 will be more than probably experiencing the best of their sexual life and pleasures.

But how can men reach this so mysterious spot ? In fact, 3 methods can be applied in order to reach this spot. These methods can be found in sex advices guides on the web.
1.For men having an upward curved penis, the missionary position is the best, because that kind of penis will exert greater pressure on the front wall of the vagina.
2.For men having a downward curved penis, or an uncurved penis, doggy style position is probably more suitable because of the pressure exerted against the front wall by the downward curved penis.
3.With the fingers or the tongue : you must push down on the clitoris and arce the tongue or fingers upwards. Note that fingers or tongue must be at least 1 – 3 inches inside the vagina…since the exact distance greatly varies from a person to another... Good luck.

Science has now answered lots of questions concerning this mysterious female area, but female orgasm is and remains a complex phenomenon wherein g-spot plays an important role.

Harry Lloyd writes articles for Top Sex Guides , a site providing male sexuality advices.

Female Orgasm During Sexual Intercourse

2006-09-20T10:49:00.000-07:00

One of the most common myths about the female orgasm is that women should only reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse.

This is definitely not true but it's a myth that has caused us to take women's sexual needs for granted for a long time. This myth actually started with Sigmund Freud, the developer of psychoanalysis, who had recognized that women could easily reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Freud dismissed this type of stimulation as juvenile and believed it was important for women to become more sexually mature by focusing only on vaginal stimulation to reach orgasms.

The problem is that the vagina was not designed for orgasms (other than the g-spot). It does not have the concentrated nerve endings that one finds in the clitoris or in the head of a penis, for example.

As a result of Freud's determination, women who could not reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse were considered to have some type of psychological impairment. All sorts of methods were devised in an attempt to “liberate” women from their reliance on the clitoris for sexual pleasure.

Only in recent decades has society begun talking openly about the women's right to enjoy sex and to reach orgasm in whatever manner worked for her.

Another common myth about the female orgasm is that only women fake orgasms.

Even though this book is about female orgasms, I think its important for both men and women to realize that orgasms are not going to happen during every sexual encounter. About one-fifth of men admitted that they have faked an orgasm with a partner. Their reasons for faking are the same as women's: they don't want their partners to be disappointed.

Orgasms don't always come easily in a partnership. Sure, when we masturbate we can probably get off every time because we know our bodies and we know what works. Our sexual partners have to learn these things over time and, most importantly, with our help.

Again, faking orgasms is not the answer for either sex. It just complicates the issue and prevents both partners from having a truly fulfilling sexual encounter.

Gabrielle Moore is the founder and initiator of www.femaleorgasmrevealed.com She helps men give women a great orgasm every time.

How to Kiss a Woman So She Aches for You

2006-09-18T10:31:00.000-07:00

by J. E. Barron

Passionate kisses are love magnets that linger in a woman’s mind. If you want to master the art of kissing a woman, it is vital that you learn how to kiss passionately without making her think it’s just your cue to get her into bed.

Your BEST course of action is to allow your kisses to linger on her mind - a sort of effective reverse psychology that women are powerless against. You can turn the tables and have her begging for more if you first establish a great kissing technique that DOES NOT always lead to the bedroom. Otherwise, she’ll immediately put up her defenses and leave you wondering what went wrong.

Follow these tips - keep your kisses really exciting by being spontaneous and by varying their intensity and duration. Also, be sure not to engage in a marathon kissing session. Initially, you want to pique her desire, not quench it altogether. This technique greatly sparks a woman’s desire and anticipation for you.

Now that you have the game plan down, try some of these techniques for passionately kissing a woman:

·Make some noise! Say something romantic while you’re kissing, whisper or express your pleasure without words by smiling and sighing heavily.

·Place your hands on either side of a woman’s face so that you do not cover her ears and your fingertips reach the back of her neck. Then, slowly pull her toward your lips while softly holding the sides of her head. Gaze into her eyes before planting one on her. Sigh "mmmm" during your kiss while holding her head.

·Place your fingertips lightly over her lips and move toward her ear. Take her ear lobe between your lips and nibble on it while breathing slowly, deeply and deliberately into her ear. Move down to her neck while still covering her lips with your fingertips and then slowly advance toward her lips while breathing onto her skin. When you reach her lips, move your fingertips to the back of her neck and pull her toward you.

·Approach your woman from behind. Place your hands on both of her shoulders, drag her hair across her neck to expose her skin, and kiss the back of her neck while running just your fingertips up and down both of her arms, across her collar bone and over her shoulders. Continue kissing her neck as you move around to face her, then slowly move up toward her lips. Hint: The back of a woman's neck is a sensitive erogenous zone that many men ignore. Pay attention to it and you'll be her super love hero!

·Reach for her hand and raise it to your lips while gazing into her eyes. Softly guide her fingertips back and forth across your mouth. Slightly open your lips and tickle her fingertips with the tip of your tongue. Demonstrate your enjoyment by smiling. Nibble the tips of her fingers. Then place the palm of her hand against your cheek, holding it in place while you move toward her lips for a kiss.

After your kiss – you MUST seal the deal by ending the session and walking away. Yes, walking away! This may sound outrageous, but it WORKS. When you kiss a woman passionately, making her tingle from head to toe, and then smile at her and walk away, you leave her aching for you. She’ll spend the entire day thinking about your next kiss, and this is the powerful position you want to attain.

AUTHOR
J. E. Barron is a relationship expert and editor of RomanticKLE.com, the online romance site featuring unique and creative tips and ideas designed to enhance your love life and immediately create the relationship of your dreams. Visit RomanticKLE.com for more great tips on enhancing your intimate relationship.

How to Be Irresistible to Women

2006-09-05T11:17:00.000-07:00

by Terry Hernon MacDonald

You don’t need a guitar, a good pick-up line, rock-hard abs, or even a full head of hair to make a great impression on a woman. Follow these tips, and she’ll want to hear from you again real soon:

1.Go out with another woman. If you’re going out to a club or a bar, take a female friend or your sister with you. Women are often more amenable to talking to men who are with other women. It gives them the feeling that you actually like women, and that’s attractive. If your female friend is outgoing, see if she’ll make small talk with somebody you’d like to meet. She can say something along the lines of, "I love your necklace!" and that should do it. After a little back-and-forth, your friend can say, "Oh, how rude of me. This is my friend Andy," and you’re in business.

2.Look women in the eye. It seems elementary, but you’d be surprised at how many guys either undress a woman with their eyes or avoid eye contact altogether. Women love it when you look them in the eye.

3.Don’t try to "buy" her. If you buy her a drink, she is obligated to say thank you and that’s it. If she accepts the drink, the polite thing for her to do would be to spend a little time talking to you, but that’s all. On the other hand, if a woman takes the drink and walks away, let her go. You wouldn’t want spend time with her, anyway. Trust me.

4.Find out her interests. Get her talking about what she’s crazy about, whether it’s David Bowie or the New York Mets. If you don’t get it, you can say something like, "You know, I’m not too familiar with Bowie. What CD would you recommend?" Or, "I’m more into football than baseball. What is it about baseball that you like?" Ask a woman her opinion, and you’ll have her eating out of your hand (we have more in common with guys than you think).

5.Listen more, talk less. Hey, I’m not suggesting that you let her do all the talking, but some guys meet a woman and then never shut up. Don’t try to impress her! Don’t brag about your GPA at Harvard, the Jag in your driveway, or the fact that you’re CEO of a tuna fish conglomerate. You’ll get precisely the kind of woman you don’t want, the one who’s only into you for your achievements and possessions, rather than for who you really are. Instead, ask questions and listen for the answers. Give your opinions. Get to know the woman. Let her get to know you.

6.Be optimistic. In other words, this is no time to discuss how oil prices are going through the roof, what a witch your ex-girlfriend was, or that your parents never gave you enough attention. If you run out of things to talk about, ask her if she’s seen the latest hit at the box office.

7.Be chaste. Do not try to go to bed with a woman right away. Sure, there’s a chance that if you go for it, she will, but if you’re hoping for a lasting relationship, you set up all sorts of weirdness if you "do it" too soon. Crazy as it sounds, if she sleeps with you, she may not respect you in the morning (you didn’t know that, did you?). She’ll figure that you get into bed with every woman you meet, which pretty much rules you out as boyfriend material. (Or she may be the type who thinks you owe her because she slept with you, which makes her really bad girlfriend material.) Save yourself undue angst and get to know a person before you go to bed with her.

8.Make a great exit. If you want to see her again, ask for her number (Preface this with something casual, "Maybe we can get together some time."). Then touch her shoulder (a little restraint is sexier here; don’t try to kiss her) and tell her you’ll be in touch. Then leave. If your friends aren’t ready to go yet, tell her you have to hang out with them. Walk away. The key here is to keep her wanting more.

9.Call her. If you said you were going to call, you can avoid looking desperate by waiting two days, but no longer. A plea on behalf of the female sex: If you’re not interested in a woman, do not—I repeat—do not say you’ll call. Say, "Nice meeting you," and be on your way. Besides, collecting numbers to feed your ego is kind of sad.

10.Treat women as you’d have them treat you. The media have brainwashed us to believe that men come from one planet and women come from another, but we’re all human. Some of the biggest losers in love are women who complain that all men are the same, they all want one thing, and so on. But it’s equally sad when a guy assumes all women are like his mother or his psychopathic ex-girlfriend. You’ll enjoy astonishing success with women if you understand two simple facts: We’re people. We’re more like you than you think.

Terry is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams" and the host of "Romance Talk," an Internet radio show for singles. To listen, go to http://www.healthylife.net. Please visit Terry's website at http://www.marrysmart.com

5 Sexual Myths Destructive to Your Relationship

2006-09-05T11:13:00.000-07:00

by Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed.

In this era where sex seems to be on the mind of everyone and talked about more openly than ever before, it is surprising that there continues to be a lot of misinformation and misconceptions. These myths perpetuate unhealthy patterns of relating, expectations and satisfaction and have the potential to destroy a relationship.

Don’t allow your relationship to be prey to the following myths:

1. A Good Relationship Shouldn’t Have Any Sex Problems
All couples will probably experience some sexual problems at some point. This does not mean your relationship is over or not a good one. If the problems are not addressed and worked out, then your relationship could be in jeopardy, but the mere existence of problems is not a sign of failure, it’s a normal part of relationships. Your partner’s sexual needs may change over time. Stress and major life changes are an inevitable part of everyone’s life. These kinds of issues can cause change in levels of desire, satisfaction etc. and will require periods of adjustment.

2. Size Matters
This simply is not true. In an attempt to make money, the media continues to keep this destructive myth alive, making men feel inadequate and self-conscious. They set up expectations that are impossible for a man to live up to and make them falsely believe that this is what a woman wants. This is absurd. You do not need a big penis to be an incredible lover and satisfy your woman. Only the first third of a woman’s vagina has nerve endings for feeling, the other two thirds has no feeling, so even a small penis is quite capable of stimulating the first third. What are most important to a woman is what kind of lover you are, what kind of person you are, how you feel about her and how you treat her. Making your woman feel loved, special, cherished, appreciated and desired will make sex great for her.

3. A Woman Should Orgasm with Intercourse Alone
The majority of women cannot orgasm with intercourse alone, regardless of how big the penis is, because it does not provide sufficient stimulation to the clitoris. Many couples struggle needlessly, believing that one of them is doing something wrong if they are not able to achieve this. Using positions that stimulate the clitoris during intercourse may work for some, such as the woman on top or the riding high missionary. You can also stimulate the clitoris with a finger or a vibrator during intercourse or give your woman her satisfaction by pleasuring her orally or manually.

4. My Partner Should Know How to Pleasure Me Without My Telling Them
Your partner is not a mind reader. Lack of communication is one of the biggest factors in sexual dissatisfaction. Yes, most people know the basics, but everyone has unique sexual needs that only they are aware of. You must teach your partner what it is that you need. Don’t be shy! Be specific and detailed.

5. It Shouldn’t Take Work to Keep Passion Alive
Yes, we would all love to live in the land of fairy tales, but unfortunately it just does not exist! Once again the media is largely responsible for promoting an ideal that just isn’t realistic. Relationships go through cycles and levels of passion will vacillate. In the early stages of love passion is a blazing inferno that can’t be put out and doesn’t require any work, but as the relationship progresses, passion will not stay alive without effort. You must nurture your relationship to keep passion alive.

Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed., is a sex advisor/educator and author helping monogamous couples increase intimacy, be better lovers and keep the passion alive. She is also author of the hot new sex guide for couples titled, Smoldering Embers-Hot Erotic Stories and Sex Tips to Light a Couple’s Fire. Subscribe to her FREE Monthly Ezine, Smoldering Embers, and get hot sex tips, techniques and secrets guaranteed to keep the Sizzle in your love life. http://www.smolderingembers.com/

10 Sexy Valentine's Day Suggestions to Use on Any Day

2006-09-05T11:04:00.000-07:00

by Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed.

*Dress up in a red garter and stocking or a red negligee and heels with a red rose between your teeth and do a sexy strip tease for your
lover.

*Send them roses. Go to the flower shop to make the order and give them an enclosed envelope to send with the flowers. In the
envelope leave a loving/naughty message telling them how much you love them or care for them and what delicious things you are going
to do with their body.

*Write them an erotic story detailing all their favorite techniques, positions, and desires. For example if they particularly love oral, then
go into great detail focusing on all the specifics of what you know they love.

*In your Valentine’s Day card, hand write your feelings, telling them how special and important they are. Enclose a sexy message telling
them what is going to happen this evening.

*Make your own Valentine’s card. Take a nice naked, sexy photo of yourself and glue it inside the card with a sexy story or sexy
message of what you would like down to your body.

*Buy your lover a box of chocolates and tell them they must eat them off of your body where you will strategically place them. This will
be incredibly fun and pleasurable for both of you.

*Buy yourself a beautiful piece of lingerie that you know your partner will love and surprise them by serving their dinner while wearing
it. More than likely dinner will be pushed aside till later!

*Give your lover an erotic massage with your hands, lips and tongue, from the tips of their toes to the top of their head.

*Call your lover at work during the day and tell them how hot and wet you are and how you can’t wait until they get home to ravage
their body. Tell them you aren’t wearing any panties or bra and that you are going out shopping. This will be a lovely image to stimulate
them through the day and set the mood for the evening. Actually go through your day without the bra and panties and you will find
yourself feeling very sexy and aroused as well.

*Give your lover a show. Write a little invitation for them telling them to meet you in the bedroom or (whatever room) at a specific time
for a special show for their eyes only. Leave the note on the mirror or with their breakfast or something like that. Be waiting for them in
the designated spot, naked, and then masturbate for them.

These suggestions are sure to put some spark and sizzle in your Valentine’s Day. (Enjoy!)

Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed is a writer, educator, therapist/advisor/coach and holistic health consultant specializing in Erotic Communication,
Sexual Intimacy, Soul Satisfying Sex as well as issues of living with chronic illness, chronic pain or disability.
Sexuality services can be found at http://www.holistichelp.net/sexandsoul and Chronic illness services can be found at
http://www.holistichelp.net

The Seven Secrets Of Successful Sex - For Men

2006-08-15T10:29:00.000-07:00

Men: The seven secrets of successful sex.

Men, if you want to satisfy any woman - every time, read on!

Sex can be long, slow and romantic, or it can be quick, urgent and intense. And it often doesn't make much difference to a man's enjoyment whether sex is over in a minute or it takes all night. Indeed, sometimes sex can seem a lot easier if it is over quickly and we don't have to make much of an effort to please our partner. The trouble is, of course, that sex like this is generally very unsatisfying for a woman, and a man who adopts this as his standard lovemaking technique isn't likely to be enjoying sex for very long before his partner departs to find someone more considerate in bed! Here, then, are some simple guidelines which will help to make sex good for both of you - and that way, give you the chance to enjoy it more often!

1 Enjoy foreplay

The big difference between men and women is in the need for foreplay. Even though many women like a quick, intense session of sex once in a while, we know that on average it takes between ten and twenty times as long for a woman to become aroused and ready for intercourse as it does for a man. And even though a woman's vagina may get wet very quickly, most women need a period of foreplay before they are emotionally ready for penetration. What this means in practice is that foreplay needs to last for at least ten - and preferably twenty - minutes if intercourse is going to be a good experience for a woman. But here's the interesting thing - the huge majority of women who enjoy foreplay for twenty minutes will have an orgasm. And since a woman's orgasm is not only satisfying for her, but adds to her partner's excitement as well, you can see it's well worth enjoying your foreplay.

So what does good foreplay involve? You might just see foreplay as a prelude to intercourse, or you might see it as an end in itself which culminates in orgasm for one or both partners - and that's a good alternative to sexual intercourse if you want safe sex, of course. But assuming that foreplay is going to lead up to intercourse, it can take several forms, including:

Kissing - appreciated by every part of the body Petting - touching, stroking, nibbling Massage - a variety of pressures and strokes across a women's entire body using scented oils, feathers, silk, or nothing but hands Masturbation - solo or mutual masturbation Oral sex - fellatio and cunnilingus

For men, it's a great idea to become an expert in the arts of gentle touching, caressing and kissing. Vary the pressure of your touch or kiss, switch between firm and gentle pressure, pause and resume - all strategies which prevent the foreplay becoming boring. But perhaps the greatest asset that a man can have during foreplay is expertise in the gentle art of pleasuring a woman orally - in other words, be an expert at cunnilingus. In survey after survey, women report that they like cunnilingus above all other forms of sexual activity. This is because it's a reliable route to orgasm for most women - much more reliable than intercourse, and in many cases it's easier than masturbation. It's also an act of real intimacy and trust - qualities which women appreciate in their partner.

There are many websites which offer advice about the best oral sex techniques: for example, http://www.sex-and-relationships.com offers hints and advice on how to enjoy oral sex, as well as providing a lot of advice about sexual positions, written from the point of view of both a man and a woman.

2 Be sensitive to her needs

Being with a selfish lover is a complete turn-off for a woman. It's no use you just going through the motions - either you're committed to giving her a good time or you're not. And being selfish isn't just about making a dive for her erogenous zones and satisfying yourself after a few perfunctory minutes of foreplay - even if she lets you! To give her a good time you need to be with her emotionally as well as physically, with your attention fully focused on what you're doing. Successful sex comes from being fully present with her during the act of lovemaking - being responsive to her movements, words, and feelings. If you're pleasuring her orally, for example, watch how her body shifts slightly as she moves towards her orgasm. These small movements indicate whether she wants you to move your focus, press harder or more softly, speed up or slow down. And remember that good sex isn't generally the same for women as it is for men: when you masturbate, you probably enjoy increasing the speed and pressure of your hand movements as you get near orgasm. For her, consistency and a steady rhythm are likely to be much more important until she's really on the edge of her orgasm. Only then will a faster rhythm and a harder pressure of your fingers or tongue, depending on what you're doing, help her over the edge and into the bliss of her orgasm.

3 Let her come down from orgasm in an intimate embrace

When a woman reaches orgasm, it can be so intense that she needs a few minutes to recover and come fully back to the here and now. So after she's enjoyed her orgasm, let her rest gently in your arms if that's what she wants, feeling your love and affection before you continue with your sex. Remember the after-effects of orgasm are different for a man and a woman: most men can't get an erection again straight away, and may even lose interest in sex for a while after they have ejaculated. The whole idea of satisfying her before you take your pleasure is so that you don't just reach orgasm, ejaculate, turn over and go to sleep. The guiding principle is "she comes first!" Remember this simple idea, and you'll enjoy much better sex. After a woman's enjoyed her orgasm, it takes her body and mind much longer to lose their arousal than it does for a man. So, after good foreplay, and hopefully an orgasm, she'll still be sexually aroused, ready to enjoy penetration and intercourse with you.

4 Remember that penetration is important to her; make it special and do it elegantly

The act of penetration can be just as important to your partner as it is to you: and you might be surprised to know that her desire to be penetrated by the man she loves and trusts can be just as strong as your desire to penetrate her. Many men forget this. And it's also important to keep in mind that this is a special act for a woman - one that symbolises love, affection and intimacy. So when you get to the moment of penetration, be sensitive and respect the gift she is giving you in allowing you into her body. Exactly how you approach the moment of penetration will depend on the mood of the sex you're enjoying (and the sexual position in which you're enjoying it). Your sex may be assertive, a wonderful meeting of masculine power and feminine receptiveness, or it may be a gentle romantic connection, symbolised by loving eye-contact as you enter her vagina. In either case, be respectful and if it feels appropriate, ask her "May I enter you?" A final word of advice - if you have trouble getting your penis in, don't fumble and fool around: be straight, direct and honest - just ask her to guide you in with her hand. Women hate an incompetent lover.

5 Learn to be a good lover; don't come too soon

Premature ejaculation is a real problem for many men. And it's true that women often don't understand how out-of-control it can feel. In young men, it's often the result of being too excited and aroused - all that testosterone, and the urge to ejaculate quickly is quite natural. Greater lovemaking skill can come with age, but even so many men never bother to learn the simple techniques that could help them last longer in bed. All it requires is the decision to do so, and the will-power to carry that decision through, plus a little help from your partner. See, for example: http://www.end-premature-ejaculation-now.com

And being a good lover means a few other things too: like ensuring your body and penis are clean before you have sex - the same is true for her vulva, of course. And respecting her wishes as to whether or not you ejaculate in her mouth during oral sex. And not resting all your weight on her unless she likes to feel you resting on top of her. There are many more such things which will make your lovemaking into a wonderful, memorable experience for you both.

6 Respect her feelings

Men very often think that a woman "should" reach orgasm every time she has sex. In fact, very few women will do so - or even want to do so. The hardest thing of all for men to understand is that a woman may not even know before sex starts whether she is going to want to have an orgasm, or be able to do so in that particular session of lovemaking. Men certainly need to grasp that orgasm may not be important for a woman. Instead, the intimacy, the cuddles, the kisses, and just feeling her man inside her may be enough to give her great pleasure and satisfaction during sex. So don't get hung up on "giving" her an orgasm - it's her body, her orgasm, and you're just helping her to discover if she's going to have one that day!

And above all, don't sulk if she doesn't want sex and you do. That's about as ungracious as male behavior gets. You have a hand, so go and do something with it, or ask her if she will help you out.

7 Talk to each other

Talking about sex can be very difficult if you're not used to discussing intimate matters. But good communication is the essence of successful sex - and non-critical communication at that. Be loving at all times: if your partner isn't doing what you want, but they are trying to please you, be kind and gracious in the way you say what you want. A good model is to say something like: "It feel great when you do that, but it would be even better if you moved your hand up a bit." In this way, no one needs to feel unappreciated or criticised. And if there's something really important you need to say to your partner, talk about it afterwards when the emotional heat has died away a bit. Then be straightforward and loving; say what you want and need directly, openly and as son as you can. Leaving things unsaid in the hope that they will go away will seriously interfere with the pleasure you get from your sex life!

About the Author
Rod Phillips is an experienced sexual therapist and on-line counsellor at http://www.sex-and-relationships.com

Female Masturbation - Two Secrets For A Better Orgasm

2006-08-15T10:26:00.000-07:00

Every woman who loves having an orgasm would also love a better one. Maybe you tend to use just one way or a small number of ways to achieve orgasm. Ways you know are reliable. However it is often the new experience that brings the best orgasms: so it is worth experimenting. Use your imagination and try news ideas out. They won't all work but, with luck, you'll hit gold!

In my previous article "Five Ways To A Better Orgasm For Women" I suggested thinking a bit about how you normally achieve orgasm and then went on to explain how you might adapt and change them, to improve the experience. If you haven't yet read that article I recommend you read it first so that you can use some of those methods together with the following two 'secrets'.

* Anal Stimulation - the forbidden area

Well, perhaps not so forbidden these days. However it is still common for people to feel that touching their anus is not something adults should do. If you feel put off from trying, it is worth seeing if you can get over it as touching that area can be very sexually stimulating.

If you have any qualms first wash the area well. Then start masturbating. When you are quite excited move your attention to the area between your vaginal entrance and your anus, stroking gently. Then move further to your anus and run a finger gently round the entrance. Concentrate on how it feels as you increase and decrease the pressure. Also notice how different parts around the anus vary in intensity of feeling. Initially you may be feeling a little nervous but hopefully you will soon be at ease.

As you continue it is possible you will have an orgasm without touching your clitoris or vagina anymore. More likely you will need to stimulate your clitoris (and/or possibly your vagina) at the same time to get there.

With increasing confidence, try inserting your finger a little into your anus. You are likely to find this very pleasurable. If you move your finger in and out regularly you may well find you achieve orgasm even without any other stimulation. Everyone is different so adapt as necessary for yourself.

If you do have an orgasm with your finger inserted into your anus, you will notice strong contractions that mirror those you experience in your vagina. Just as it is pleasurable to contract onto something (whether it be a real penis or a dildo/vibrator) in your vagina, inserting a butt plug or slim dildo (or a finger) into the rectum can also heighten the orgasmic experience. You will need to experiment with the size of the butt plug/dildo. Something that is as large as can comfortably inserted is usually the best.

You are on the way to bigger and better orgasms!

* Vaginal entrance - the area that gets you wanting more

It has recently been found that the clitoris is far from being just a small thing above the vagina. In fact clitoral tissue and nerves spread out around the entrance to the vagina. It is therefore not surprising that the entrance to vagina can be very sensitive.

Many women masturbate by touching just the main part of the clitoris with their fingers, others by inserting their fingers (or a dildo) into their vagina and many do both. Obviously inserting something into the vagina will also stimulate the vaginal entrance.

Whether you like clitoral or vaginal stimulation (or both) it worth exploring this area further to enhance your orgasm. Try stroking your clitoris until you are very well turned on and you can feel your clitoris has become engorged. Then move to the entrance to your vagina and firmly rub your finger(s) around the outside of the entrance, at the entrance and just inside. Make sure you are well lubricated first.

Think about the sensations you are getting and find out which parts give the most pleasure. You will probably get a strong feeling of needing to have something inside; a need for penetration. Resist this feeling for now and concentrate on just the entrance.

Maybe you will get an orgasm just doing this. If so it will probably feel a bit different from you usual one: remember it for the future! Having explored this area well, start to include it in your regular masturbation sessions. Combining vaginal entrance stimulation with clitoral and deep vaginal stimulation. It is sure to improve your orgasms!

Don't forget all my suggestions are just that, suggestions. Feel free to adapt these ideas and try out you own. The more you vary your sex the better it becomes.

About the Author
Abbie Acworth has had a long term interest in sex and sexuality and writes articles for http://www.sextingles.co.uk and other web sites.

Let's Talk about Relationships and Sex: Interview with Hitched Magazine

2006-08-04T13:31:00.000-07:00

I had an interview with Hitched magazine (Hitched Media, Inc), http://hitchedmag.com/, a new publishing company delivering service and lifestyle information to married couples.

Py Kim Conant Author of "Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man" is anything but submissive. BY APRIL Y. PENNINGTON

Notable: Come October 28th, Py, 43, will definitely raise eyebrows, skirts and men's libidos with her decidedly un-PC book, Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man (pre-orders available on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com). Culling the practices of the Japanese geisha and the Korean equivalent, kisaeng, Korea-born Py attempts to teach American women the ways of the alluring Asian Geisha. Py's tips and suggestions will surely spark some lively conversation between you and your spouse.

[1] Some may perceive the contents of your book as training women to be submissive to men. Aren't you reinforcing Asian female stereotypes? It's only submissive in that you're giving into the reality that men are visual animals with fragile egos. If you want to keep a relationship with a man, you have to give him what he wants. You have to go with the flow. Women need to only accept the stereotypes that are helpful or useful. If Asian women are perceived as nice, what's wrong with that? Men approach you easily because of the stereotype. But the notion that Asian women are submissive, passive and materialistic, we just reject that.

[2] Why is it so important for married women to place their "beauty and sexy femininity" a continuing priority in their relationship? Men don't want their women to change. They want their women to be the same as when they first got married. They want beauty, sexy femininity and a hot sexy relationship to keep the marriage invigorated. If your husband wants and desires you, that's good. If you're fat and gain weight, it's bad.

[3] Isn't it hard enough to live up to this ideal of perfection with supermodels and the genetically blessed? You say we should all be at our perfect weight yet you're largely against plastic surgery. I emphasize in my book to look classy and natural. Plastic is not a natural look. We as women want to keep the best weight, that's when you're comfortable with your weight and proud of yourself. When you gain weight you get depressed and it affects your marriage. So sex is not good because you feel big and don't want to take off the clothes and have sex anymore.

It's a lie when men say they don't care if the woman gains 50 pounds; we don't want to hear the truth. When we ask if our butt looks big, we already know that it is, we just want to hear our husbands say no! Men don't want to get in trouble by telling the truth.

[4] Why should women always credit their man for their orgasms, even when a vibrator's in play? Men want to feel great, it's ego boosting to do so. He wants to take the credit, even if you got the orgasm with the vibrator. He needs to feel masculine and regard the vibrator as a friend and not an enemy.

[5] You say women should be enthusiastically available to their man whenever he wants sex, but aren't we allowed to not feel in the mood? We're not sex machines, there's no button they can press to instantly make us ready. And there will be many times where we don't want to do it, but there's a way to talk to him. Say "I'd love to have sex with you," but then say what's holding you back, like "I have a migraine," or whatever, but be truthful. Then tell him, "Can we have sex later," or set a date in the near future. Finish by asking him if that's okay. That way it's his decision, not your decision and he doesn't feel like he's being pushed away by you. He will say "yes." Then since he waited for you, give him an extra treat like wearing a new thong panty--crotchless, silky--something that's an incredible treat and is visual.

[6] The vast majority of your book covers what women should do in attracting, pleasing and keeping a man. What are a few things men should be doing for women? A husband should appreciate what their women can do for them, instead of taking them for granted. A woman should be treated like a queen, since she's treating him like a king. Because we women need to hear it, tell her you love her and she's beautiful, all the time. Tell her she's the nicest woman in the world. You have to be sincere. You have to be totally, physically and emotionally faithful to your wife and not fucking around with other women. He has to please her sexually, enthusiastically and show her she's special. Be nice to her and always listen to your wife--making her happy is a big part. And always keep your word.

[7] Those are some good tips for men, why don't you focus on that equally? Maybe my second book will be what a man can do for a woman! But husbands should read this book too. You'll see how to make a woman ejaculate and how to be sexually involved.

http://hitchedmag.com/article.php?id=42

About the Author
Py Kim Conant, Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, Hunter House, October 28, 2006. Looking for relationship, dating and sex tips? Visit Py's website at www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com

Expanding Your Orgasmic Horizons

2006-08-04T13:25:00.000-07:00

Have you noticed that you have got into a fixed pattern with the way you masturbate? Do you enjoy your orgasms but they have become a bit samey? If so it is time to explore new ways to improve the experience and find even more satisfaction.

Some women when they first discover how to orgasm think subconsciously that the method they used is the only one for them. Indeed for many women after masturbating for a long time in one particular way it initially is quite difficult for them to reach orgasm using another method. However, with the right conditions and maybe some perseverance they can find new ways of orgasming and a whole new world of pleasure opens up.

Women who have masturbated in only one way for a long time are often surprised that orgasms can feel very different if they are achieved in different ways.

Most women initially fall into two groups. Some concentrate on stimulating their clitoris and (less often) others rely on using vaginal stimulation. In actual fact maybe these two methods are not that far apart as it has recently been discovered that clitoral tissue and nerves extend all the way around the entrance to the vagina. Perhaps this is why the entrance to the vagina can be so sensitive and stimulating.

Of course there are other areas of the body that produce sexual excitement when touched. Sometimes stimulating one of these areas for the first time will produce an unexpected and intense orgasm.

I had a very unexpected experience with my partner a few years ago. He is fascinated by sex and loves to experiment. One day we were feeling sexy together outside in the garden and he began to touch my anus. Now my anus was not an area I had tried touching sexually and in fact I was not all that comfortable with the idea. However this day we were outside naked in the sun and I had the sun on my bottom. My partner began to gently run his finger around my anus and then insert it just a tiny bit. Very quickly I was getting excited and then suddenly, to my my surprise, I had a very strong orgasm!

If someone had said to me beforehand that I could get an orgasm with only my anus being touched I would not have believed them in a million years.

Of course, your response to anal touching is likely to be different and interestingly I have not had a repeat of this experience since. I do like my anus being touched during sex now and get turned on by it but when we have tried to repeat the orgasm with only anal touching it hasn't happened.

Anal stimulation is not the only one way of changing the method of stimulation. There are a host of others and I will make some suggestions in future articles including how and where to touch; how to change things with your state of mind and the use of sex toys.

Incorporating different ways of masturbating into my sex life has improved it and from time to time I have an orgasm that seems to be better than ever before. I strongly encourage all women to experiment. It is fun and it is likely you too will experience new orgasmic sensations.

About the Author
Abbie Acworth has had a long term interest in sex and sexuality and writes articles for http://www.sextingles.co.uk and other web sites.

Male Impotence Myths

2006-07-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

by Chris Morrow

Hippocrates, the father of medicine, said: "There are in fact two things, science and opinion; the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance". Those words still ring true today.

Many of the myths and legends about impotence, borne out of ignorance thousands of years ago, still influence our sexual culture. Primitive cultures believed that male virility was intricately interwoven with power, wealth and domination.

So it's not surprising that beliefs still persist in a number of cultures that to lack virility, or worse still, to be impotent, is to lack the very essence of life. Manhood and the "ability to perform" are inextricably linked, so impotence is viewed as a "lack of manhood".

Despite the fact that the twentieth century brought about radical changes in gender roles, on ethnic, economic, social and cultural levels, sexuality and impotence are still shrouded in mystery, secrecy and a good deal of confusion.

Myth #1 - "Real men" don't experience impotence

ALL men over the age of 30 experience impotence as least once in their lifetime. It's estimated that over 150 million men worldwide have impotence; in fact, reports suggest this figure could be as high as 300 million or more. Estimating the numbers is difficult because less than 2 men in 10 seek treatment for impotence problems.

Impotence (or erectile dysfunction) is defined as the inability to produce and maintain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse. Impotence is not considered to include lack of libido, inability to ejaculate or achieve orgasm, a lack of strength or the loss of "manhood".

Myth #2 - Impotence is "all in the mind"

Less than 20% of impotence cases have a primary psychological cause. The majority of men with impotence have an underlying physical condition such as diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure or prostate cancer. Stress, anxiety and loss of self-esteem are often secondary psychological factors that occur if the impotence remains undiagnosed and untreated.

Myth #3 - Impotence is a natural part of growing old

Although it's evident that the chances of experiencing impotence increase with age, this is largely due to the increased risk of having an underlying physical condition such as diabetes, high blood pressure or heart disease. To compound this factor, a number of medications prescribed for these conditions can cause impotence.

Myth #4 - There is no "cure" for impotence

Although medical science hasn't come up with a permanent "cure" for impotence, a number of very effective therapies are available. Oral medications such as Viagra have revolutionized the treatment of impotence, however impotence pills don't work for everyone. Other safe and effective treatments include vacuum pumps, injections and penile implants.

Once the impotence is effectively treated, most men go on to lead active, satisfying sex lives.

Myth #5 - Impotence is a man's problem

Both partners in a relationship can experience problems when impotence goes untreated. Often failure to communicate and denial of the problem lead to depression, anxiety, and lack of self-esteem for both partners. A tendency to avoid sexual contact can often leave the partner feeling unloved, unattractive and unwanted.

Myth #6 - Impotence is too embarrassing to discuss with anyone

A number of men find it very difficult to discuss any problems they may be experiencing, particularly impotence. Impotence can often be the symptom of an underlying medical condition and won't simply "go away" if it remains untreated.

Once the condition is diagnosed, suitable treatment can begin immediately and the problem can usually be alleviated.

Myth #7 - Men should know all about sex

The general consensus of opinion is that men instinctively know how to have sex. But clinical studies confirm that impotence can result from lack of knowledge and ignorance about the "mechanics" of sex.

A common misconception is that sex is a simple and straightforward process for men. Not true. Many men find it difficult to discuss the subject, and asking questions would reveal their ignorance and lack of knowledge and possibly threaten their masculinity. Media images of the virile male in action only serve to further alienate those men who don't understand "the basics".

Talking to a specialist counselor or therapist will quickly clear up any misconceptions and help overcome problems due to lack of knowledge.

Myth #8 - Men always want sex

The myth that men are always "ready, willing and able" is simply not true. The commonly held misconception of the "dominant male" has been proven to damage the sexual, physical and psychological wellbeing of a number of men.

A recent Swedish study on sexuality and marriage carried out on 286 couples of varying ages found that men who perceived themselves to be the "dominant male" were more likely to experience temporary impotence if sex was requested by their partner, when they weren't in the mood.

Healthy relationships should be about equal partnerships, good communication and respect for the feelings of both individuals. It's not uncommon for one partner to want more frequent sexual activity, and sexual desires can fluctuate between partners and at various times. Discussing these issues reasonably and rationally so that each partner understands the needs of the other helps maintain a happy and healthy sexual relationship.

For more information about impotence, male sexuality, female sexual dysfunction, and many other topics related to impotence and sexuality, please visit http://www.impotence-guide.com.

Chris Morrow is a human behavioral consultant who works in the area of human sexuality and sexual health.

Chris is co-author of www.impotence-guide.com, a comprehensive and educational website about all facets
of male impotence and sexuality.

How Sexuality Has Come To Determine Love and Relationships

2006-07-10T11:27:00.000-07:00

Nowadays is very common that sexuality determines the direction where love and relationships are heading. By the time a couple join together they immediately want to fulfill desire.

When sexuality, loneliness, and other selfish feelings play a part in the start up of a relationship, it is very probable that the couple may last together only for a short time, and problems will occur. The problems will stem from habits, words, actions, etc.

These recent years the estimated divorce rate has reached numbers higher than ever. This has motivated the changing of a number of laws, with the focus of reducing divorces while making couples think. In Michigan, the couple must attend marriage counseling before marriage licenses are obtainable and must take STD tests. The Sexual Transmitted Disease test is a measure of protection for the couple, while the counseling session is to determine the purpose of marriage.

Love is more than what many realize. Selfish motivations only break up relationships, since the purpose is to fulfill a want or burning desire. Thus, to obtain a long-lasting relationship elements of love need to fall into place and be in the mind of the couple joining in relationships.

Reviewing the different forms of love can help you to appreciate how it works. When a mother disciplines a child for running into the streets, the mother is dishing out tough love to protect the child from harm. When a father alerts the family that problems are causing harm to the arrangement of marriage, thus instigates an open conversation to resolve the problems. The father is illustrating tough love in an effort to make his commitment stand firm.

Problem solving willingness is rarely in relationships today. When troubles mount up couples often decide separation and/or divorce is the way out. Troubles stemming from financial burdens, adulterous relationships, lack of consideration for the other, and so forth often lead to “I cannot take this anymore,” and one or the other walks out the door. We can see that this type of relationship started out with desire in mind, since long-suffering is non-existing. If the couple started out on solid grounds, when the problems creep in, they would have come to a more productive agreement. Of course, when adultery is the problem we know the person committing the act is merely acting out on his/her desire, thus considering separation and/or divorce is logical.

Abusive relationships would never start in some instances if the mate took the time to investigate the partner's background and take the time to become acquainted with the mate before permitted sexual intimacy.

Thus, setting standards from the onset of any relationship can help you prevent finding love and relationship that leads to the road of separation and/or divorce. When you set standards you are making a statement, thus never letting your standards go below your beliefs is part of the solution to creating a long-lasting relationship.

Today, sexuality plays a large part in love and relationship. Sexuality is part of the elements that makes the relationship work, however it is not the ultimate ingredient to make love last. Thus, giving sexuality its correct place can help you find true love as long as you never forget about all the other ingredients that together build a love that lasts.

Nathan Young is an expert author in a number of health themes affecting both men and women. If you or someone near you suffers from Premature Ejaculation problems you should know that this is a curable condition premature-ejaculation-cure--treatment.blogspot.com

What is BDSM?

2006-06-16T12:11:00.001-07:00

When many hear the term BDSM they begin to imagine sinister underground dungeons where by leather wearing pierced masochists impose excruciating pain on their victims. This of course could be seen as true in some instances but this is not what BDSM is all about. BDSM cannot be defined by one activity alone, two activities, or even three, in fact it would accurate to say that BDSM cannot be defined by any number of activities, it's a lifestyle choice which is entirely unique.

The term 'BDSM' encompasses an immeasurable range of sexual, sensual and intimate activities. The most common can include power or role play, a range of sensory games from the extreme infliction of intense pain to the gentle tease of a feather and much more. Many have even participated in an act that could sit under the caveat of BDSM without even knowing it and this style of sexuality is ever on the increase whether you are aware of it or not.

So what is it? The term BDSM itself is actually made up from abbreviations of other terms. B & D represents 'bondage and dominance' or 'bondage and discipline'. D & S represents 'dominance and submission' and S & M represents 'sadism and masochism'. With all these terms sitting under the BDSM belt it is easier to see exactly why BDSM can be extremely hard to define and is simply more straightforward to view as a way of life.

Contrary to popular belief BDSM is not that irregular. In fact as much as 50% of the population have a varying degree of interest in the subject and that's with them being knowledgeable enough to know what it encompasses. If you include in those figures couples that may have restrained each other to a bed or the simple use of a blindfold you could expect that percentage to soar. Historically this behaviour was listed as a psychological problem in a similar vain to masturbation and homosexuality. Today, however, as are homosexuality and masturbation becoming increasingly accepted in society, so is BDSM.

As well as being hard to define there are also no set practices within BDSM. For many, possibly the majority, it is seen as a way to add an element of spice and enjoyment to their sex lives. Others can view BDSM as a way to gain fulfilment or a temporary release from everyday life, a kind of escapism if you will. Still others will view it as a way to deepen the bond between partners. This list of varying views could continue but it is far simpler to point out that there are possibly as many views as there are people involved in the subject. Although the list of views varies dramatically the people behind them all share something in common and that something is known as SSC.

Like BDSM, SSC is also an acronym. It stands for Safe, Sane and Consensual. Safe means that precautions are taken to prevent harm or injury to those involved. Sane means that mental and emotional safety is also cared for and consensual almost speaks for itself; all parties involved agreeing to participate without coercion.

The majority involved in BDSM share a heightened sense of responsibility and respect for their partners. BDSM has absolutely nothing to do with violence against a helpless victim. It is this kind of common misconception that responsible BDSM participants wish to dispel. Restraining a partner and beating them is not BDSM but simply brutality. The heightened sense of responsibility and respect often results in a positive side effect of superior levels of communication which, in the BDSM world, is essential and something that the majority of mainstream couples would be advised to adapt.

As confusing as BDSM is it is far easier to see why some misconceptions are formed. Most physical or 'scene' practices generally are not what they seem. The stereotypical image of the dominant doing as he/she wants with complete disregard to the submissive is one that plagues the BDSM community.

In reality nothing could be further from the truth, the submissive always has the final say. Responsible participants practice the use of good communication up front, the use of a 'safe word' which will stop the action immediately and a period of communication after any event to discuss what could be better for the next time.

Another common misconception is that BDSM is dangerous. Certainly some specific activities are more athletic than others but running an ice cube along a partners' body probably isn't life threatening. For the more strenuous activities it is advisable that the players are in good physical shape and have a good understanding of what they are doing and this is where the community aspect can play a helpful part. The shared education and experience of others can prove invaluable. Furthermore BDSM is not intended to be sexist. Sexism imposes dominant/submissive roles according to gender whereas BDSM roles are designated according to feelings and shared eroticism.

The more elaborate BDSM activities take a lot of preparation, attention, time and energy. When it comes to sex many practitioners often find themselves having more non-BDSM sex than they do BDSM sex but as we've already discussed it's not all about sex. BDSM is as much an attitude as it is an act and often spills into non-sexual related activities. A simple everyday task of travelling could see the dominant driving to express power or the submissive driving as an expression of caring for the dominant. Who's actually in charge can be far from obvious.

So who likes BDSM? I think the more appropriate question is who doesn't like BDSM? People interested in BDSM come from all walks of life. From those with abusive backgrounds where BDSM activities are part of the healing process, those with healthy backgrounds who are looking for fulfilment to those who are identified as 'lifers' who have had fantasies from as far back as they can remember and are now making them a reality.

One thing you can be sure of is that BDSM will always attract a certain curiosity. People will come from all genders and orientations establishing common ground between heterosexuals, homosexuals and any other orientation that you can think of. Before you dismiss BDSM and vouch that you would never participate in such an act or lifestyle, can you be so sure that you haven't, to a certain degree, done so already?
Author Info:

Jenna Stevenson is a tester of adult sex toys at Batteries Not Included. Her reviews and opinions on sex toys can be found at http://www.batteries-not-included.co.uk

Pleasuring Her Sexuality – A Woman's Desires and Needs

2006-06-16T12:11:00.000-07:00

The uniqueness of every female in the world is an enigma that is difficult to solve.

When it comes to pleasuring her sexuality, there is no one-way to please every woman with one style or approach.

Each woman is different, needing individual attention to her desires and needs, where giving her pleasure becomes an exploration in what makes this one unique person sexually satisfied.

When initiating sexual intercourse with a female, one can engage in pleasing her sexuality several ways.

During a sexual act, couples may change from position to position, at any moment.

Many can sense the act of pleasure when a female expresses herself in ways including moaning or a tight grip.

Missionary Position

One of the most common positions used in pleasuring her sexuality is called the missionary position, where the man is on top of the female, directly penetrating her vagina. The women’s legs are usually open while she is positioned on the bottom.

There is also a side entry missionary position where the woman is on the side, while the man penetrates from behind.

Other missionary positions include:

· The woman on the bottom with her legs tightly closed

· The woman on the bottom with her thighs pressed against her chest

· The woman on the bottom while the man holds her legs in the air.

Woman on Top

Sometimes a woman can suceed in increasing her pleasure when she takes over the top position. When a woman sits on top of a man while facing him, this is called the Cowgirl Sex position. The Reverse Cowgirl is when the woman is facing away from the man when she is sitting on top. Usually, a woman can better control the intensity of the sexual act, as well as her organism, when she is commanding the top position.

Sexual Positions

When pleasuring her sexuality, you should know that there are various sexual positions that feature a playful take on the animal kingdom:

· The Butterfly Position involves a woman lying on her back while the man stands and lifts the female’s pelvis for a more satisfying penetration.

· The Octopus Position deals with a woman resting her legs on the man’s shoulders while she is on the bottom.

· When the woman is on all fours, facing downward, she is prepared for the “Doggy-style” position, where the man enters the woman from behind.

· When the woman lowers her torso in the Doggy Position, she is engaging in what is referred to as the “Froggy” position.

· Pleasuring her sexuality can seem easier when a man enters the woman from above as her legs are spread open, allowing more intense penetration. This position is referred to as either the “Spread-eagle” or “Spider” position.

When you are at home with your sweetie and the mood has set in, there are plenty of household objects available when a man is interested in pleasuring her.

Various pieces of furniture can increase stimulation:

· A man can kneel in front of his woman while she is sitting in a chair.

· A woman could sit on the edge of almost any chair or couch, depending on the height and spread her legs, as the man enters.

· She can also spread over a piece of furniture, such as a table or countertop while a man enters from behind.

There is a certain feeling of naughtiness when two lovers make love in rooms other than the bedroom.

There are endless ways to please one another during an intimate moment.

Sometimes a sensual act could be as simple as watching a woman pleasuring her sexuality in the form of masturbation. It can be a successful turn-on for both parties when either one or both participate.
Author Info:

More sexuality information and FREE exclusive diet and health magazines, are available on our web site: http://www.net-planet.org

Embracing Your Sexuality: Asking For What You Want

2006-06-16T12:09:00.000-07:00

Many men and woman complain that they don’t have a great sex life and they are resentful toward their spouse or their partner for this. What we need to learn is; are we the real reason behind this and is our resentfulness is misplaced?

While our sexual experiences are often influenced by the people we have sex with, we are the ones that need to define what we want from our sex lives, and then seek that out. When we can embrace our sexuality and tell the people that we are physical with what we want, only then can we experience what we fantasize about. For instance, if you have many fantasies that play over and over again in your mind but you do not tell your spouse about them, why are you resentful towards them?

If you know what you want sexually you need to embrace that and learn how to tell the person you are having sex with what you want! While most couples are close, unfortunately, for the most part, partners cannot become mind readers. No amount of subtle hints are a substitute for a verbal instruction. Only when you realize that communication is paramount within a relationship, including the bedroom, will you embrace the full potential of it and thus stop misplacing that resentment.

If you feel uncomfortable talking about what you want from your sex life, try to show your partner. Experts often say that acting out what you want done to you in a sexual sense is the best way to let your partner know what you want. If you don’t think that will work or you aren’t quite that brave, don’t be afraid to write it down! Why not send a racy email or even pin a letter on the pillow of your partner to let them know what you want but are too shy to ask for! Not only will this add an element of fun and excitement to your sex life because you are asking for new and different things, your fantasies might very well be fulfilled.

By sharing what you want you may be able to try the things that you have always wanted to try, in addition to other things that may come along as you experiment. Fulfilling your fantasies will undoubtedly lead to more new and interesting things for you to try, as well as a new closeness between you and your partner.

Author Info:
Jenna Stevenson is a tester of adult sex toys at http://www.batteries-not-included.co.uk and offers adult toy advice at http://www.thelatestvibe.co.uk

The Natural Roots of Sexuality

2006-06-01T12:38:00.000-07:00

Recent studies in animal sexuality serve to dispel two common myths: that sex is exclusively about reproduction and that homosexuality is an unnatural sexual preference. It now appears that sex is also about recreation as it frequently occurs out of the mating season. And same-sex copulation and bonding are common in hundreds of species, from bonobo apes to gulls.

Moreover, homosexual couples in the Animal Kingdom are prone to behaviors commonly - and erroneously - attributed only to heterosexuals. The New York Times reported in its February 7, 2004 issue about a couple of gay penguins who are desperately and recurrently seeking to incubate eggs together.

In the same article ("Love that Dare not Squeak its Name"), Bruce Bagemihl, author of the groundbreaking "Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity", defines homosexuality as "any of these behaviors between members of the same sex: long-term bonding, sexual contact, courtship displays or the rearing of young."

Still, that a certain behavior occurs in nature (is "natural") does not render it moral. Infanticide, patricide, suicide, gender bias, and substance abuse - are all to be found in various animal species. It is futile to argue for homosexuality or against it based on zoological observations. Ethics is about surpassing nature - not about emulating it.

The more perplexing question remains: what are the evolutionary and biological advantages of recreational sex and homosexuality? Surely, both entail the waste of scarce resources.

Convoluted explanations, such as the one proffered by Marlene Zuk (homosexuals contribute to the gene pool by nurturing and raising young relatives) defy common sense, experience, and the calculus of evolution. There are no field studies that show conclusively or even indicate that homosexuals tend to raise and nurture their younger relatives more that straights do.

Moreover, the arithmetic of genetics would rule out such a stratagem. If the aim of life is to pass on one's genes from one generation to the next, the homosexual would have been far better off raising his own children (who carry forward half his DNA) - rather than his nephew or niece (with whom he shares merely one quarter of his genetic material.)
What is more, though genetically-predisposed, homosexuality may be partly acquired, the outcome of environment and nurture, rather than nature.

An oft-overlooked fact is that recreational sex and homosexuality have one thing in common: they do not lead to reproduction. Homosexuality may, therefore, be a form of pleasurable sexual play. It may also enhance same-sex bonding and train the young to form cohesive, purposeful groups (the army and the boarding school come to mind).

Furthermore, homosexuality amounts to the culling of 10-15% of the gene pool in each generation. The genetic material of the homosexual is not propagated and is effectively excluded from the big roulette of life. Growers - of anything from cereals to cattle - similarly use random culling to improve their stock. As mathematical models show, such repeated mass removal of DNA from the common brew seems to optimize the species and increase its resilience and efficiency.

It is ironic to realize that homosexuality and other forms of non-reproductive, pleasure-seeking sex may be key evolutionary mechanisms and integral drivers of population dynamics. Reproduction is but one goal among many, equally important, end results. Heterosexuality is but one strategy among a few optimal solutions. Studying biology may yet lead to greater tolerance for the vast repertory of human sexual foibles, preferences, and predilections. Back to nature, in this case, may be forward to civilization.

Sam Vaknin ( samvak.tripod.com ) is the author of Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited and After the Rain - How the West Lost the East. He served as a columnist for Global Politician, Central Europe Review, PopMatters, Bellaonline, and eBookWeb, a United Press International (UPI) Senior Business Correspondent, and the editor of mental health and Central East Europe categories in The Open Directory and Suite101. Until recently, he served as the Economic Advisor to the Government of Macedonia. Visit Sam's Web site at samvak.tripod.com

Rate Your Sex Drive & How It Effects Your Relationships

2006-06-01T12:33:00.000-07:00

This small questionnaire will only take a few moments. Try to answer the questions as honestly as you can, after all only you have access to the answers. Just make a note of your answers, then calculate your scoring; then you'll find out how your sex drive is effecting your relationships!

Q1. How often do you have sex with your partner?
a) everyday. b) 2 or 3 times a week. c) 2 or 3 times a month. d) Less.

Q2. How often do you have sex with someone other than your partner?
a) everyday. b) 1 or 2 times a week. c) occasionally. d) Never.

Q3. How often do you think about having sex?
a) everyday. b) 2 or 3 times a week. c) 2 or 3 times a month. d) Less.

Q4. How often do you masturbate?
a) everyday. b) 2 or 3 times a week. c) 2 or 3 times a month. d) Less.

Q5. When having sex with your partner, do you ever use Sex Toys?
a) yes, a lot. b) yes, occasionally. c) I've tried it. d) Never.

Q6. When masturbating, do you ever use Sex Toys?
a) yes, a lot. b) yes, occasionally. c) I've tried it. d) Never.

Q7. Do you ever role-play when having sex, i.e. dressing up?
a) yes, a lot. b) yes, occasionally. c) I've tried it. d) Never.

In this segment, mark ALL the answers that apply!

Q8. What events are most likely to turn you on?
a) watching an x-rated movie (with your partner or on your own).
b) watching the Saturday Night premier, with the love scenes.
c) waking up/going to bed next to your partner
d) romantic dinner / evening for the two of you.

Q9. Where have you had sex?
a) in the bedroom
b) all over the house
c) in the garden
d) in a public place

Q10. What fantasies have you fulfilled?
a) yours
b) your partners
c) ones that you saw in an x-rated movie or magazine
d) none

SCORING:
Just tally the all the values beside the answers that you have selected; remember that questions 8, 9 and 10 may have multiple answers.
Q1. a)3 b)2 c)1 d)0 Q2. a)3 b)2 c)1 d)0 Q3. a)3 b)2 c)1 d)0 Q4. a)3 b)2 c)1 d)0 Q5. a)3 b)2 c)1 d)0 Q6. a)3 b)2 c)1 d)0 Q7. a)3 b)2 c)1 d)0 Q8. a)1 b)1 c)1 d)1 Q9. a)1 b)1 c)1 d)1 Q10. a)1 b)1 c)1 d)1

INTERPRETING YOUR SCORE:
IF YOU SCORE TOTAL IS BETWEEN 0 and 11.
You have a very low sex drive. This may have a negative effect on your relationships. I know that a healthy relationship is not based on sex, they are based on trust, love, and communication. However intimacy leads to intimacy; what I mean is that there are different forms of intimacy, touch intimacy (non sexual, like hugs, caress, holding hands, massage, etc.), verbal intimacy and sexual intimacy. When you are have sexual intimacy with your partner you are laying the paving stones, for a more intimate relationship. You will have to try and loose some of your inhibitions allowing your partner the key, or at least lending him the key more often. You can obtain tutorial books and DVD's on learning how to become more intimate with your partner.

IF YOU SCORE TOTAL IS BETWEEN 12 and 22.
You have a perfectly healthy and normal sex drive. This will have a positive effect on your relationships. Your sexual intimacy will lead to other forms of intimacy with your partner, ultimately taking you to the next level.

IF YOU SCORE TOTAL IS BETWEEN23 and 33.
You have a high sex drive. This may have a negative effect on any relationships you have. You have to balance all the different aspects of intimacy; what I mean is that there are different forms of intimacy, touch intimacy (non-sexual, like hugs, caress, holding hands, massage, etc.), verbal intimacy and sexual intimacy. If you focus on just one, your relationships will struggle to get to next level. you need to understand that there are more to relationships than just sex. What I recommend is more masturbating to cure your urge so that you can focus on balancing intimacy types to try to take you to deeper relationship that is more meaningful. You can use sex toys for more satisfying masturbation!

Educational Sex DVD's, Sex Toys, more...

How do I reach an orgasm?

2006-05-26T10:20:00.000-07:00

Is it OK to fake an Orgasm?

Is there something wrong with a woman that has not experienced an orgasm?

These are a couple of questions that I have been getting asked more and more, so I thought why not address them through my articles? As much as I have written this for my ladies, men you can benefit from reading this little bit of info also!

There is nothing physically wrong with women that have not experienced the big O! They simply just have not learned how. It is very much a mental exercise as well as physical. Way back when..., we were taught that it was a bad thing to touch ourselves (masturbate). That was a big wrong turn for a lot of women. I have read a lot of letters from women that tell me that they were in their late 20`s before they ever experienced an orgasm, one that they would consider an orgasm anyway. This is why I express over and over, ladies learn about YOUR BODY! Orgasms are very connected to ones mind when dealing with the female. If you are worried or tired or feeling a bit at odds with your partner, that door is definitely going to be locked, even nailed shut. It will take some work and patience to find the key to open up that mind trap.

Too many women spend way too much time worrying about orgasms. Worry only puts up the walls that will totally disable your mind to relax and float. Think of watching and waiting for water to boil. By the time it has boiled you have lost interest. Or when you are trying to call someone and the line is forever busy, that just frustrates you to no end. If you would have just carried on with something else at the time, the water would have boiled before you knew it, the phone line would be cleared, and you would be frustration free! Orgasms work in very much the same way. Do not think about them. Do prepare for them, feel your body call them, desire them, fantasize, open your mind up to a total zone of passion. Pure thoughtless passion!

Some women feel that if they do not orgasm, their partner will feel that they have failed them, or vice verse. (GUILT) There is absolutely no room for guilt or shyness in the arena of sex! This is one of the reasons women FAKE the O! It does not do any real physical harm to fake most things in life. The only one that is losing out though, is you. You are fooling no one but yourself. Then you end up feeling even worse because you pretended at a time when you should be open and real.

There is also the time thing. Women are in need of more stimulation and time to relax and be able to find their zone. Men tend to think that five minutes is just super...NOT...so ladies this is where communication comes into play. You must tell your man that NO, I am not there yet. I know this sounds bossy, but most men hardly ever have a problem telling the women what to do in bed and when to not stop. Also ladies please tell your man to do like the yellow pages commercial, "Let your fingers do the walking". Women like and need the finger play. Also ladies if your man is just down there asap...tell him to slow down. This can also throw women off when they are feeling rushed.

When you are close to your partner and feel that sex is in the air, enjoy even just the kiss at first. I mean really enjoy just the kiss. Allow your body to warm up and get your juices flowing. Or really feel his touches, and listen to your partners voice when he says your name. If he never says your name, tell him too. He will oblige immediately. Tell him you want to hear him admire your body. A women on the norm has a hard time verbalizing what she likes. This is just because we were raised to be nice girls. Well, TALK! You will be surprised at how much more relaxed you become and excited once you can talk to your partner about touching where and how. Tell your partner to join you in that little game. A women's body will react very nicely if you just allow the feelings of a kiss to penetrate you.

Another turn on for you ladies is to touch yourself while your partner watches. Yes, you will love it once you allow him into your world. He will not say no to that request. To see or hear how excited he gets watching you enjoying your body is another very big turn on for you. This is also a very good way to keep your mind away from the, "will I or won`t I" question. Think of anything but the ultimate O!

G-spot orgasms are pretty easy to reach. We can get there as easy as men have the ability to get hard. To get there just tell your man to do the, "walking". Or take his hand and guide him down to where your body is wanting his touch. G-Spot orgasms feel nice and they are basically our juice fountain, that is when we get very wet. This is when your body prepares for penetration.

It is the clitoral Orgasm that most women are after. Those ones will shake your ground. But again, these are mind connected. I will say I am speaking for the norm of women. Every women is different to a degree, but we are basically after the same thing. We all want to feel that intense vibration and the total body rush that runs through our body. It is an adrenaline rush like no other. To know we have that kind of control in our minds and bodies also boosts our self-esteem! That my Ladies is a very good thing!

Some women are sensitive enough that they will react instantly to a touch. That is not always that good. Her orgasm at that point will be quick and over before she even gets to really appreciate it. The longer it takes to reach that ,"O" Zone, the more intense the orgasm. That is another reason you want to learn to control your body. Eventually you will be able to tell your mind when and where!

A very, very good way to learn about your body is to bring yourself to orgasm. I tell women that all the time. You need to know and be able to connect with your own mind before you can allow someone to do it for you. Once you can learn to control your minds ability to fantasize or totally zone out, your body will follow naturally. Ladies again, it is so important to learn this because it keeps your mind off whether or not the O is going to happen. Once you have learned about your body, you will be able to bring that O on yourself just with your mind. A little hand stimulation is also your minds best friend here. You will know how much stimulation you will need at the time. You will eventually know your entire body`s secret passages to feeling. Yes! Very yummy. So my words here, are to get to know your secrets.. and HAVE FUN!

Remember Ladies, men are not born with your road map to orgasm. First you need to draw it for him. Then show it to him. From there it is totally the big," O" every time. This is my recipe to the one thing that women can do over and over again, without a rest period. Ha!! Sorry guys, we were born that way.

When modern woman discovered the orgasm, it was combined with modern birth control, perhaps the biggest single nail in the coffin of male dominance.

Eva Figes

Tips on Cunnilingus, Fellatio and Orgasms!

2006-05-26T10:18:00.000-07:00

If you are wondering what I am going to share with you tonight, then you are definitely in need of this article, especially after reading my teaser up there. I have shared many of my thoughts with you during the past few months. Mostly about females why`s and woe`s. I have had many men request that I give them more information on exactly what women like in the sex, and feelings department.

OK, well I will do what I do best, just simply share what my thoughts on these subjects are. Take them or leave them!

There are so many sites out there that are about dating, relationships, how to score, how to win, and yet men are still looking for answers. Why is that? Maybe it`s because not every answer fits every women! That may be your first hint guys. We are all different, what works on one women will make another women slap your face with disgust. So I would think that a good thing to do is to just chat a bit with the lady and get to know the side of her that she is willing to show you. Hopefully you are smart enough to listen to her, and learn as she talks. Oh, and please save the checking out her boobs or her butt until after you have won the first battle.

I truly believe men are so quickly blinded by our physical protrusions (wink) that they immediately lose their focus at first base. Guys, the body parts are not going anywhere. Have some class and be patient. OK, enough about that very somber subject. I will leave that for another show, as they say.

Women's feelings, as most men have already experienced are nothing to joke about. Women are sensitive creatures and at the same time very strong. Those two characteristics are nothing short of explosive. The beneficial side to these hard to deal with emotions is that women are just as equally passionate and loving towards the male gender. It is our passion that fuels our desires to be wanted by men. We send off certain signals that entice and attract men. Women know exactly how to win a mans heart. Remember, we are the more sensitive feeling being, of the two genders. We also deal with hormones that turn us into monsters one minute and little tiny babies in another. Our feelings are usually on the top of our skin. That's why we get hurt so much easier than men. We are child bearers, and that instinctively causes us to be more cautious and rely on our intuitions more than facts. So guys , please forgive us for being the more feeling human. Do not hate us for it, or get frustrated with us, but love us and know that for all the pain we share, we also share twice as much pleasure. That brings me to my next thought!

Sex, that is definitely a good thought not to mention a very fun act between men and women. Women love to be touched, and felt. She wants to feel your hands on her body. It is a very important physical connection that sends messages to her most intimate senses. When a man touches a woman's body, she feels wanted, she feels lusted, she feels craved, but most of all she feels SEXY! Her self-esteem will ROAR! That my dear sweet men, is exactly the point you want her at. You want her to feel SEXY!

Women do vary with having their breasts played with. This should be done gently at first, so to not turn her off. Some women love a very passionate kiss. A passionate kiss can be an instant orgasm. Women love to feel the sensation of your breathe on thier skin. That will surely send her to a new level of sensations. Women have very sensitive backs. A women's spine will tingle with the slightest touch of your finger tips. Kiss her shoulders, please. Kiss her belly! Kiss her thighs, that is another very sweet spot for women! Kiss her between her legs! She will be warm already, anticipating the sensation of your tongue! It is a very sweet way to taste the women that you desire! She will feel that much more open to you, knowing that you want every part of her body! Women`s bodies have so many sensations that it does take them a bit more time to get them to have an orgasm. The more sensations that you can get a women to feel, the higher she will go into her orgasm zones. Spend time tasting her, never rush her. Also please no not wear out just one spot. Women know there good spots, ask her to tell you what feels good. Be patient though, women do have a harder time talking about sex. Listen to her moans, read her body language, feel her wetness. All these are signs being sent to you. That's a plus for you also. The more orgasmic a women feels, the more adventurous she will be when it is you she wants to devour.

Remember, to tell her how SEXY she is and how sweet she tastes! Let her know how good she feels to you. Let her know that she is driving you crazy. Women also love to know that for sure. When men are quiet during sex, women feel that they are not exciting or sexy. Women need to hear that men want them and want to please them. When women feel they are wanted, that in turn makes them want to please their man. HMMM! Where do you think my thoughts are going now??

MHM!! Women also love to please their men. They know that men crave fellatio, better know to most as ,"Blow-jobs". (SMilz) Yes guys we know, we know. Women read more that you can imagine how just how to give their guy the best BJ. There are just as many books out there and sites on the internet about that as there are about how to please a woman. My hint to all the women wondering out there is...PRACTICE!!!! Body language from your man is a must to watch for. Not all men are the same. Some men are more sensitive in some areas that others. Just as women are also on different levels of sensations when it comes to oral sex. Another good tip ladies is your thoughts at the time of the Bj. Think sex. Think wet.Think suction. Think warm. Think HIM!! Love him!! But most of all suck him like you want it. The more he feels that you are just absolutely crazy for it, the more intense it is for him. Do not be afraid of what you are doing. You cannot hurt him unless you bite. That's a NO! NO!.... DO NOT BITE or SCRAPE! :) Don`t be afraid to ask him how it feels, or if there is anything more you can do to please him.

Communication, as in anything, is important in sex. It is after all, something that we want to enjoy with one another. Also we learn more about each other through sharing our physical desires. Ladies another very huge turn on for your man is when he sees you feel SEXY! When a man sees his woman sexy, confident and open to him, it will totally send him over the edge of lust for you. So lets get SEXY!!

When all is said and done, Cuddles is a biggie. We need to cuddle. It reassures us that everything was perfect. It's kind of like the icing on the cake. It bonds us on another level of communication. Some women and men have their best conversations when they cuddle. It is almost like a surrender of weapons.

Well these are my thoughts on this. I hope I have not offended anyone. I know this is a different subject than what you are use to reading. But I am human also, just like you. Also I wanted to show a little attitude of a different color for my readers.

Enjoy life and enjoy all of it benefits.

Finding the G-Spot Everytime

2006-05-22T11:02:00.000-07:00

You will learn here how to find the G-spot with your partner, and once finding it, use of a special sexual position to stimulate it, and bring her quickly to climax after climax (once you learn the technique).

To find the G-spot, you need to know what it is, where it is located, and how to identify it.

What is the G Spot

The G-spot is named after the German doctor (a gynecologist) Ernst Graftenburg.

It is an area inside the vagina, on its front wall.

When this area is stimulated with the correct pressure it often evokes an orgasm. You can locate it as it corresponds to the area where the urethra is nearest to the top of the vaginal wall. The urethra is the opening where a woman urinates.

Finding the G spot

There are several opinions to exactly where the G-spot is, and indeed it varies from woman to woman. You can be sure however that is somewhere from the urethral opening on to the termination of the vagina.

Using one or two fingers, insert them inside your partner's vagina, touching the top of the vaginal wall. You will feel a lattice-work of muscle tissue, and somewhere in that lattice is the real G-spot. Be very careful how you touch it. Too little pressure and your partner will feel nothing. Too much pressure and she will experience an unpleasant pain.

pleasuring the G Spot

Once you have located it, you have three methods to employ it to pleasure your partner.

The first method is while performing cunnilingus re-insert two fingers and apply a steady and firm (but not rough) pressure to the G-spot. After about 20 minutes of cunnilingus, and pressure, your partner should experience a steady and strong orgasm.

The second method is by intercourse, with the man laying on his back and woman mounted on top. The man needs do nothing at all, just have an erection and let the woman move and she will press her own G-spot against the man's penis. Orgasm is assured.

The third method is a sexual position known as Kneel and Heels. The woman lays on her back, with the man sitting on his thighs in front of her.

The woman will place her heels on the man's chest with her legs slightly apart. The man then penetrates the woman, and does not move or thrust, but rather leans back a bit, insuring his penis is firmly touching the vaginal wall.

The woman rather wiggles and undulates. The man's penis will be in an upward tilt and pressing against the G-spot. After some minutes, the woman will experience a strong orgasm, as the same position also stimulates the clitoris.

It must be remembered that to stimulate the G-spot one must apply both intense and constant local pressure in unison.

The man simply thrusting is not effective in this case. I

If the man can hold on long enough, his partner will experience an orgasm that is both deep and long-lasting.

An interesting variation in sexual position is known as the Horse position.

The woman is lying down on her back with the man standing. Again her heels are pressed to the man's chest, and he can penetrate and instead of trusting, he simply moves with his penis fully inserted into the vagina.

The experienced man can understand where the G-spot is, and a firm and constant pressure brings the desired result.

For more informative sexual articles, features and downloads please go to:
http://www.net-planet.org/sexhealth.html

Add Spark to Your Love Life with Sexy Costumes

2006-05-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

If your love life is feeling routine and the spark is threatening to go out, breathe some fresh air into the mix by using sexy costumes. Whether you would like to admit it or not, everyone has a fantasy. For most guys the Farrah Fawcet in the red swimsuit fantasy is ranked right up there with the Princess Leia in the bikini fantasy. Of course, any occupation with the word "sexy" listed before it finishes out the trifecta of guy fantasies. These include sexy nurses, police officers, maids, flight attendants, pirates, and even a lunch lady is she's sexy enough!

Women on the other hand typically have fantasies about strong, capable men. Most women start drooling the moment they see anyone in uniform, including soldiers, sailors, police officers, fire fighters, or sports figures. However, women can become caught up in a fantasy that involves them dressing up in a provocative outfit just as easily as men. After all, why would any woman agree to wear a sexy costume if there wasn't something in it for her?

Wearing sexy costumes is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, as many couples exercise these play roles to keep their love life from becoming tired, listless, or dull. Just because you use sexy costumes in your relationship does not mean that you no longer want to be with your partner, which is a common misconception. Just because you have a desire to see your wife or girlfriend in a skimpy maid's outfit does not mean you have a secret wish to have sex with a maid. Instead, these fantasies allow us to cast ourselves and our loved one in a unique setting in order to experience something different. Think of it like Halloween, but instead of candy, you get something much more satisfying.

There are several different variations of sexy costumes that are available for purchase. If you are entering into the idea of fulfilling a fantasy for either yourself or your partner, you may be unwilling to purchase some of the more provocative costumes on the market. Consider starting out small by using accessories and accents to make a unique statement or choose a more subdued costume that is subtly sexy. Although there are only two people in a relationship, and you may have many years of history to fall back on, there can still be embarrassment present, so be sure to speak of any issues that may be of concern for either you or your partner.

Think of sexy costumes like lingerie or any other provocative clothing meant to get a rise out of your partner. When purchasing sexy costumes, you should be sure to choose a costume not only for its look, but also for its construction and materials. By purchasing a high quality costume, you can be sure that your partner will be able to enjoy his or her fantasy for many, many years to come. Most often, the fantasy wears out before the costume!

In addition to wearing a sexy costume to keep your sex life jumping, consider using different areas in your home for those intimate moments. A scantily clad maid is far more convincing on the kitchen table than in the bed. Furthermore, that muscle-clad mechanic will be a good deal more enjoyable in your garage to keep the fantasy realistic. Keep in mind that sexy costumes differ from person to person. What you consider sexy is probably different that what your friends consider sexy, but fantasies are unique to each individual. Be sure to support your partner with whatever fantasy tickles his or her boat and enjoy the ride!

Christianna Mansfield is the owner of Lingerie Obsessions. Offering Sexy Costumes and Lingerie for women of all sizes

10 Hot Tips to Make Your Romance Sizzle

2006-05-08T10:06:00.001-07:00

Copyright 2006 21erotic.com

Is your romance with that special someone cooling off? Do you worry that the spark is going to go out? Look no further. Here are 15 hot tips to make your romance sizzle.

1. Use edible pain to create masterpieces on each other's bodies. If you don't have or can't find edible paint, use chocolate syrup or whip cream.

2. If you are looking for action later in the evening, eat a light dinner for a better ability to perform.

3. Create a fantasy box. Cover an old shoe box with white paper and use markers to paint some romantic scenes or hearts on it. You and your partner should write fantasies on slips of paper and put them in the box. When you are both in the mood, draw out a fantasy and make it into a reality.

4. Have your partner close their eyes, or blindfold them and then experiment with sensations. Use a feather, aromatherapy oils or ice to enhance their pleasure. Rub their lips with ice until they are cold and then kiss them with your warm lips. This is very erotic.

5. Go a little crazy and plan a sexual adventure. Make a date when each of you comes prepared for a sexual fantasy. You can dress in costumes or use sex toys to spark the enthusiasm.

6. Set the mood. Use aromatherapy candles and romantic music, or dim the lights and spend time together sipping a glass of wine. Fireplaces are romantic as well. Light a fire and cuddle up on it with your partner and then seek out all of those pleasure spots. Making love before a fire is very romantic.

7. Ladies can wear sexy lingerie - not. Go out to dinner and tell your partner about your bare essentials. If you can give him a peek without allowing others a glimpse, use the situation to your advantage.

8. Put a drop of edible oil in your partner's favorite flavor someplace on your body that you know they will lick. This gives a pleasant surprise and stimulates sensitivity.

9. Take your partner shopping...for sex toys. If you are embarrassed to go into a sex toy shop, do your erotica shopping online. There are a wide variety of sites that offer sex toys that will add romance to any couple's life.

10. Experiment with a vibrator. Each person can use it on the other to find those "pleasure spots." Once you find them, return to them time after time for a sensual lovemaking experience.

Author Info:

For more erotic articles visited http://www.21erotic.com

Sex Secrets Exposed: Multiple Orgasms

2006-05-08T10:06:00.000-07:00

The majority of women who have experienced both kinds of orgasms claim that it is easier to have multiple G-spot orgasms than it is to have multiple clitoral orgasms. If an orgasm turns its lovely head towards you while the two of you two are playing with each other try the following. Try whispering some words of encouragement (and perhaps turn up the heat just a little bit), but basically continue pleasuring her through her orgasm.

Then continue and you will possible go right into a next one. If it still keeps feeling good for both of you, what's the point of stopping now? There is often a chain reaction with multiple G-spot orgasms coming one after another. Every one makes the next one feel even better, and makes most anything else sexual feel much better too.

However, as stated earlier everybody different, and the quality is far more important than the quantity.

It is true however that for some women playing with the G-Spot may become more likely to result in orgasm over a little period of time. Usually a few weeks or months after first starting to experiment with it. It is also very true that the intensity of orgasms may be directly related to pubococcygeal muscle tone This is another incentive for doing regular PC muscle exercises.

If you are a woman and you would like to try stimulating your G-Spot while masturbating try this. Use a good combination of toys. Most women would use a vibrator which can be used on your clit as you're getting warmed up as well as penetration.

In general it is not a very good idea to have a huge ego or emotional stake in having or giving your partner orgasms or multiple orgasms. Many sex educators believe it is not good to get "goal oriented" about something that's supposed to be for pleasure.
Author Info:

Terry Brazil Sex Secrets Exposed http://sex-god-secrets.blogspot.com

Spiritual and Sexual Healing

2006-05-08T10:04:00.000-07:00

Spiritual Healing Through Sexuality

Alma De la Cruz

Couple issues such as spirituality and sexuality rank higher than financial reasons as the most affected items of a fumbling relationship. When it comes the moment to point out why a couple needs more intimate vigor, two wrongly things are sure to happen: Women are always blamed, and if both recognize that it’s a male matter, also women blame themselves. Their consequent silent follows a behavior that will never end the cycle if there is no communication and willingness to solve it.

I agree on communicative practices within the pair for finding a reconstructive way, if that is what both desire. But I also propose to call upon the Angels of relationships to ask for help, guidance, assistance and healing in this realm.

It’s just a matter of concentrating in the voice within to open your self into greater receptivity to their assistance. Practice this for a few minutes daily as you release all your thoughts and feelings. Simply place the relationship in the hands of your Angels and let go.

With your trust in Angels, your beau is also being helped. Spirituality within a couple is all about the union of mind, body and soul. It’s the inner joy that reflects the pleasure of having one another.

After you have passed this first step through the pathways to achieve sexual healing, both must concentrate on “the” issue, the rebirth of sexuality life. Surely, answers on this matter lay on natural remedies: aphrodisiacs.

Herb properties influence people’s sexual attraction. However, few people know that herbs are stimulants. The Santoreggia, for example, is considered one of the most well-known aphrodisiacal herbs that turn on imagination, and reinforce and tone many nerves and muscles, increasing sexual interest. On the other hand, a person that feels unable to be sexual and spiritual at the same time is in urgent need of any presentation of Basil.

Knowing this, kitchens ratify their functions as the best allies of women in the solving of “the situation” by transforming themselves into nests of potions which stimulate and increase the art of love in those people who no longer posses enough erotic spur. Then, you may add five drops of Santoreggia essence on a sugar cube 4 or 5 times a day to stimulate relationships.

The correct use of nature's products, and especially the gastronomic patrimony combined with a pinch of magic ritual, is the right ingredient at the right time: On Friday nights, according to Wiccan tradition.

Some herbs that help sexuality within couples are:

St. John’s Wort
This herb is widely used to help lift a low mood and it is often suggested to boost a flagging sex drive in those feeling blue

Potency Wood
This herb is widely used by natives of the Amazon and Orinoco river basins to enhance sexual desire and combat impotence

Ginseng
This herb is often taken as a tonic for increased vitality and libido enhancement

Yohimbe
It helps to repair erection problems by increasing penile blood flow

Hops
If premature ejaculation or impotence is a concern, this herb can assist any neurosis that might be a factor in these dysfunctions manifesting

Maca
Peruvian doctors have been known to give this herb to male patients who complain of having erection difficulties

Cocoa
This food/herb is known as the 'pleasure herb'

Privet
The boiled extract of this herb can be used as a douche for vaginal irritations

False Unicorn
It generally promotes fertility in both males and females

It is necessary to fully understand their properties and their correct way of preparation in order to avoid distasteful results. It is therefore necessary to carefully examine the causes of sufferers of sexual problems in order to choose correctly.

And remember: Communicate with one another! Talk to have great sex!

About The Author
Alma De la Cruz, a staff mystic employed by http://www.psychicrealm.com, has a profound personal history where she has unabashedly delved deep into the heart of occult mysteries for an extensive period of her life. Her name literally means “Soul of the Cross” in Spanish. Currently she is working publishing a manuscript that delves into the mysteries of Hispanic new age beliefs incorporating old insights with new spiritual methodologies.

Check out her bi weekly metaphysical column: http://www.newagenotebook.com where she takes a new twist, incorporating Latin shamanistic philosophies with leading edge occult beliefs.

Rejuvenating Sex And Health Naturally

2006-05-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

Our physical and psychological makeup is influenced by the sexual imperative far more than most of us realize or wish to admit. Entire systems of psychoanalytical therapy (e.g. Freud) are based upon the premise that we are primarily sexual creatures.

Behaviorally, there is little doubt that there are dramatic differences between the sexes. This can be seen even in the earliest of years. (This is so in spite of vigilant efforts by “rights” groups to blur distinctions and to declare sexual equality by legal fiat.) Girls with dolls and boys with trucks and guns manifest with no coaching from parents, and reflect the natural nurturing tendencies of girls versus the more aggressive and protecting inclination of boys. Physically the primary and secondary sexual characteristics are obviously different. These features, in fact, attract the opposite sex and prepare each sex for reproduction, caregiving and protection for the young.

But sex is not just about recreation or procreation. It can directly impact health. For example, the risk of breast cancer is directly linked to childbearing and nursing in women – having children and nursing them for extended periods of time decreases the number of ovulations a woman has and thus decreases the pro-cancerous estrogen surges. Other research has demonstrated that fulfilling sexual activity in women is also linked to health.

A man’s sense of strength, perception of attractiveness to women, feelings of being loved and depended upon, financial success, respect, and feeling accepted are all intricately tied to sexuality. Male sexual self-worth goes hand-in-hand with physical and mental health.

Who primarily commits violent crime in society? Is it not young men in the heyday of their testosterone surge? Sexuality and health at their peak create the potential for either great accomplishment or great harm depending upon how these energies are focused.

On the other hand, when male hormone levels start to ebb in later years, health decline parallels this downturn. Men experience loss of muscle mass, lowered energy levels, decreased immunity, increased susceptibility to a variety of degenerative diseases, decreased libido and fertility, and various degrees of impotence. Sensing this decline, men can feel hopeless, worthless and at the end of life. Such feelings further fuel the downward health spiral often resulting in an early death.

The importance of sexuality in men is evidenced by polls showing that men would sooner risk serious life-threatening side effects than forego the possibility that a new drug (e.g. Viagra™) might rejuvenate them sexually. Being sexually alive even in the very oldest of men may be as important as life itself.

Although male hormone levels decrease with age, the slope of the curve can be dramatically altered. It will not, however, be just a matter of taking a pill. Supplemental male hormones are available but their use disrupts the body’s natural balances and can cause negative feedback inhibition. When this occurs, exogenous hormones (pills) send a signal to hormone-producing tissues that hormone levels are high enough. Endogenous (from the body itself) production therefore slows. Over time this can weaken hormone-producing tissues so that the initial problem of inadequate production is compounded. This is at least part of the mechanism for the adverse effects of anabolic (male hormone-like) steroids taken by athletes and bodybuilders. Young men eager to exaggerate muscularity end up with withered and weakened testicles and other endocrine glands setting them up for serious diseases as they get older.

A better alternative is to make healthy lifestyle changes (suggested in the Optimal Health Program™ http://www.wysong.net/optimal_health_page1.shtml) combined with natural nutritional supplementation, which has been proven to provide benefit to many.

Androgenic phytonutrients from herbs (such as Tribulus terrestris, Muira puama, Avena sativa and nettle leaf), amino acids (including L-arginine) and certain foods such as melons naturally increase testosterone production without the danger of negative feedback inhibition as experienced with anabolic steroids and other hormones. Increased testosterone levels, in turn, increase libido, act as an aphrodisiac and help prevent impotence. (In fact, modern research has revealed that testosterone is the only substance capable of generating libido in both men and women.)

Recent studies suggest that these phytonutrients also affect brain chemicals such that potency and erectile capacity are improved and male reproductive system growth, function, and repair is enhanced.

Phytonutrients can also improve sexual function through inhibiting the binding of sex hormone-binding globulin to its receptor site on prostatic membranes. This provides relief to benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) sufferers who often experience painful intercourse, a certain impediment to sexuality.

Other nutrients such as zinc, vitamin B12 and vitamin C directly stimulate sperm production and motility and thus increase fertility. Modern, processed, food fraction-based dietary fare can be woefully deficient in these nutrients. Selecting good supplements and converting the diet to more natural, fresh and varied foods is the solution.

Lifestyle changes (outlined in the Optimal Health Program™ http://www.wysong.net/optimal_health_page1.shtml) – not the least of which is maintaining healthy body weight and regularly exercising – when combined with proper nutrition can rejuvenate the entire body and with that send a signal to the sexual core of our biological being that we are alive and well. Such signals stimulate a natural invigoration of sexuality, and with that mental and physical health.

Author Info:

Dr. Wysong: A former veterinary clinician and surgeon, college instructor, inventor, research director for the company by his name and founder of the philanthropic Wysong Institute. http://www.cerealwysong.com.

Readers of Romance Novels Have Better Sex Lives

2006-05-05T12:09:00.000-07:00

According to BusinessWeek, every 5 seconds someone buys a romance novel. For those more mathematically inclined—that makes romance novels a $1.2 billion dollar a year industry.

And it’s no wonder.

Experts agree that readers of romance novels find it easier to “get in the mood” and on average, even have sex with their partners more often. Psychology Today states that women who read romance novels make love with their partners 74% more often than women who don’t. Why? Because, according to a scientific study conducted by Harold Leitenberg of the The Journal of Sex Research and Psychological Bulletin, when women fantasize frequently (as they do when they read romance novels), they have sex more often, have more fun in bed, and engage in a wider variety of erotic activities.

Many therapists now go so far as to recommend reading steamy romance stories to boost a woman’s sex drive. Their reasoning: “taking part in enjoyable activities such as walking with a partner, listening to music, having a glass of wine, taking a bath, or reading a romance novel can help put women in the mood for sex. These activities can help women shift into their "sex self" from their role as mother, wife, employer, or employee,” says Carol Rinkleib Ellison, PhD, a psychologist and author of Women's Sexualities. Christiane Northrup, M.D. of Women’s Health Wisdom also says: “Consider reading novels or renting movies that contain sexual content to help you get in the mood.”

For those of us that enjoy a steamy romance novel on a regular basis—this is not new news. We’ve been trying to tell mainstream nay-sayers this all along. We women are turned on by “emotional stimulation” the way men are aroused visually. Though more and more romance authors are leaning toward more erotic romance, women don’t always require graphic sex scenes to become aroused. After reading an emotionally intense love scene, a woman feels more open to the “idea” of making love—or “in the mood” for sex.

Maria Veloso, author of Midwinter Turns to Spring states, “Contrary to popular belief, the ability of romance novels to fuel a woman’s sexual desire doesn’t lie in the stereotypical bodice-ripping, sexually explicit scenes so inherent in romance novels – but rather in the realm of emotions. In most cases, a woman’s libido is directly linked to emotions that revolve around romance and love. These emotions are a connected set of processes that involve physiological changes, such as heart rate, blood pressure and hormones circulating throughout the body—and these comprise the cornerstones of a woman’s sexual drive. Therefore, when a woman’s emotions are stirred by a romance novel, that’s a recipe for an emotional aphrodisiac. It’s like giving a woman emotional foreplay.”

She goes on to say that “when women read romance novels, their emotions are stirred. Because a woman's emotions are directly linked to their libido, romance novels then virtually become aphrodisiac cocktails – or what I call emotional foreplay for women. And that's a prelude to sex.”

Just as men become aroused while perusing nude magazines, women stimulate their emotional and their libido while reading a satisfying love scene. Some critics of either men’s magazine or steamy romance novels may doubt this activity as an acceptable alternate for couples in a committed relationship for bettering a person’s sex life. Some may believe these habits may actually take away that special something from a sexual relationship rather than enhance it. Based on this current scientific studies, this is, thankfully, not the case.

Women’s sex lives and the level of intimacy they have with their husbands, boyfriends or partners will show a noticeable improvement after reading a romance novel because it simply puts them in a more romantic state of mind.

So what’s the link between romance novel and better sex lives?

Emotional satisfaction.

That’s something to think about when you’re at the counter trying to decide between this month’s Cosmo and the latest steamy romance novel!!!

Bonnie Louise Williams is the author of three erotic romance novels, an online romantic comedy series, and several erotic short stories. To join her free newsletter visit her website at http://www.LoveandRomanceEtc.com or to order Bonnie’s erotic romance novels, visit www.BonnieLouiseWilliams.com.

How do I reach an orgasm?

2006-05-04T11:16:00.000-07:00

Doggy Style Sex Positions

2006-05-01T11:08:00.000-07:00

Here are more additions to our continuing series on sex positions. Today, we are exploring variations of the doggy style position. Many men find this one of the most exciting positions.

Leapfrog Sex Position has the penetrating partner inserting from behind. The receiving partner on all fours, facing down.

Leapfrog Variantion on the doggy sex position has the receiving partner's torso lower, also known as "face down ass up".

Froggy Style variant on leapfrog position with the penetrating partner raising their own hips above those of the receiving partner for maximum penetration.

Upright doggy is variant on the doggy position. The receiving partner kneels upright.

Spread-eagle has the receiving partner laying face down, with legs spread open, while penetrating partner is on top. Also known as the spider position.

Spoons position has both partners lying on their same side facing in the same direction as the penetrating partner inserts from behind.

Reverse Peace Sign has the receiving partner laying face down with knees held together.

Inverted Missionary has the receiver laying face down on surface with legs spread/closed, and penetrating partner enters receiving partner while she/he lies on stomach (provides good stimulation of the penetrator's testicles, penetrator can reach around and stimulate the clitoris/testicles of the receiver)

Camel Ride/Camel-Style has the receiving partner laying on his/her side with the uppermost leg forward. The penetrating partner kneels over the receiver's leg, gaining access to either vagina or anus. Good for sex during pregnancy, or for overweight partners.

Woman On Top Sex Positions

2006-05-01T11:03:00.000-07:00

The woman on top sex positions, often called Cowgirl or Amazon sex position. With these sex positions, the penetrating partner lies on his or her back and the receiving partner sits on top of the penetrator facing the penetrator's face. The receiving partner often stimulates the penetrating partner's genitals by reaching behind them.

Reverse Amazon Sex Position has the penetrating partner laying on their back with the receiving partner sits on top of the penetrator facing AWAY from them. The receiving partner may stimulate the penetrating partner's genitals from this position. Another advantage is that the penetrating partner may view the receiving partner's back, which some find to be an erotic stimulus.

Italian Chandelier sex position variantion on the above position puts the receiving partner on top, arching her back and placing her hands on the ground, with the penetrating partner on bottom.

Reverse Cowgirl Horizontal places the penetrating partner on their back. The receiving partner first sits on top of the penetrator facing AWAY from them, and then lies down on top of the penetrating partner.

Asian Cowgirl has the penetrating partner lies on their back and the receiving partner squats (not kneels) on top of the penetrator facing toward them.

Horizontal Reverse Woman on top sex position variantion on the above position puts the receiving partner on top facing down with torso lower with the penetrating partner on bottom.

Full Control Woman on Top works well if the penetrating partner's waist is sufficiently slim. The receiving partner (while the penetrating partner is fully inserted and their back arched) can bring their knees under their partner's back, thus providing the penetrator support. The penetrating partner in this position is essentially immobile, and the receiver fully controls the intercourse. The intercourse then continues by the receiver leaning backwards and pushing against the penetrator.

Missionary Sex Positions

2006-04-20T11:08:00.002-07:00

The Missionary position is considered the most common position. The penetrating partner is on top with direct penetration and the receiving partner is on bottom, with legs open.
Side entry missionary offers a variation on the missionary position with the receiving partner on their side and the penetrating partner kneels to penetrate from behind.
Blossoming Flower Missionary is similar to the standard missionary position, with the receiving partner is on their back, but they also spread their legs, lift their hips and arch their back. The receiving partner is literally and figuratively opening themself up to their lover, and allowing for deeper penetration.
Squashing of the deckchair has the receiving partner on bottom, with legs pulled up. The penetrating partner is on top and holds the receiving partner's legs.
The Butterfly sex position has the receiving partner lie on their back and the penetrating partner stands and lifts the receiving partner's pelvis for penetration
Coital alignment technique is a variant on the missionary position, with the man in the missionary position and moves slightly forward so that the base of the penis rubs the clitoris.
The stopperage has the sex position variation of the penetrating partner pressing the receiving partner's thighs against their chest
The Yawning Position has the receiving partner's legs straight up and wide apart
Octopus Sex Position is similar to the butterfly, with the receiving partner resting her legs on the penetrating partner's shoulders
Feet-on-his-shoulders has the penetrating partner kneeling and the receiving partner resting their legs on penetrating partner's shoulders

There seem to be almost limitless little variations to the classic sex positions. We open with your partner and enjoy the moment to find those positions that work best for you best.

Doggy Style Sex Positions

2006-04-20T11:08:00.000-07:00

Here are more additions to our continuing series on sex positions. Today, we are exploring variations of the doggy style position. Many men find this one of the most exciting positions.

Leapfrog Sex Position has the penetrating partner inserting from behind. The receiving partner on all fours, facing down.
Leapfrog Variantion on the doggy sex position has the receiving partner's torso lower, also known as "face down ass up".
Froggy Style – variant on leapfrog position with the penetrating partner raising their own hips above those of the receiving partner for maximum penetration.
Upright doggy is variant on the doggy position. The receiving partner kneels upright.
Spread-eagle has the receiving partner laying face down, with legs spread open, while penetrating partner is on top. Also known as the spider position.
Spoons position has both partners lying on their same side facing in the same direction as the penetrating partner inserts from behind.
Reverse peace sign has the receiving partner laying face down with knees held together.
Inverted Missionary has the receiver laying face down on surface with legs spread/closed, and penetrating partner enters receiving partner while she/he lies on stomach (provides good stimulation of the penetrator's testicles, penetrator can reach around and stimulate the clitoris/testicles of the receiver)
Camel Ride/Camel-Style has the receiving partner laying on his/her side with the uppermost leg forward. The penetrating partner kneels over the receiver's leg, gaining access to either vagina or anus. Good for sex during pregnancy, or for overweight partners.

Deepen your sexual experience

2006-04-20T10:15:00.000-07:00

Top Questions of our Time Series: Sex

Slam bam thank you Ma’am or Mr.? That’s some people’s method and it works for those who mutually agree they want a quick fix. But for most people this is not the method of choice. So, why is it that this is so prevalent? The reason for this could be that American culture is simply not accepting of sexuality in general and that is why sexuality leeks into what many consider to be ‘shadow’ areas, such as pornography, strip clubs, and prostitution. Carl Jung, one of the founding fathers of psychology, would definitely label sexuality as the shadow side of our culture. For most people who watch or visit these areas, it’s not something they discuss with their acquaintances or even their family and friends. In fact, the actual act of having sex with a person is not discussed too openly in our culture. Alfred Kinsey was one of the first and most famous people to openly discuss this cultural issue in public. Sure, sex is flashed in our faces on TV shows, movies, and advertisements, but few people actually openly discuss the act of having sex with another person.

For whatever reason that is, this is an article that is going to discuss one of the top questions of our time: What is a great way to have sex, even for those who are inhibited. I am going to explain a term, I am certain I am not the first to use it, or explain concepts like it, however, I have not seen the term before. That term is Mindful Sex. Mindful sex involves slightly slowing down in every aspect of the act of sex, from creating the setting, to the foreplay, to the actual act of sex, whatever you consider that to be. The following is the gist of it:

Setting:

This part is not necessary if the act of sex is spontaneous in any given moment. If it is not spontaneous, sometimes it is a good idea to set the setting. When creating the setting, whether you are lighting candles, putting on music, or preparing special lingerie, moving slightly slower than you usually would. As you move slower begin to pay attention to your senses. If you are lighting candles, notice what you are lighting it with, is it a match, a lighter? Notice what the flame looks like, how it moves, does the candle have a smell, if so, take a moment to inhale it. If you are setting up special lingerie, take a moment to feel the lingerie. Is it made of silk? How does the silk feel? Are you spraying perfume/cologne on it? Take an extra moment to inhale that. You get the idea, with anything you are doing, move slightly slower and take a moment to pay attention to what you are seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, and tasting. You do not need to think about any of this, just notice your sensations. If you notice you are thinking about something, notice that and then simply bring your attention back to what you are sensing. By moving slightly slower you have the opportunity to do this and in return make the process more meaningful and enjoyable.

Foreplay and Sex:

Some people consider foreplay to be sex, some consider intercourse to be sex. So I am putting them together because these ideas apply to both of them. There are many aspects to foreplay and sex and different people will have different variations on what they like. The tragedy of it all is that most people, having not felt free to discuss sex in public and they have only relied on what the media has influenced them to think about how sex should be. While they’ve had sex, they have never freely explored it on their own. Some people like to start out with oils and massage, some people like to start out with kissing all over the body, while others are into more fetish areas such as acting out a fantasy of being ruled over by a dominant figure of some kind (e.g., dominatrix). As far as fetish goes, this goes as far as our imagination can take us.

As you practice Mindful Sex you will give yourself the chance to discover what it is that you really like and you will begin to feel more comfortable communicating that to whomever you are having sex with, even if that person is yourself (i.e., masturbation). Here is the gist:

As you begin to practice mindful sex, it is important to remember one thing: Whatever it is that you are doing, do it slightly slower than usual. This does not mean go in slow motion, it means just go slightly slower than you would think to go. As you move slightly slower, you give yourself the opportunity to really be there in that moment and notice things that you may not have noticed. If you are giving a massage, you get to feel how the person’s skin actually feels, is there a scent to the oil? If so, inhale it. If the oil is edible, take an extra moment to lick it and truly taste it in your mouth. Look over your partner and take a moment to take in all the little nuances of the person’s body. By slightly slowing down, you also allow yourself to relax a bit, and this not only helps in making this a richer experience, but also helps reduce anxiety if that is an issue (e.g., being overly sensitive or premature ejaculation).

You can apply this in every moment of sex that you find yourself in. For example, when you are giving oral sex, go slightly slower and notice the smell and taste involved, feel the texture of the other person, is it soft/rough? What does the person’s vagina or penis look like? As you go slightly slower you’ll find that it is not so difficult to notice these things and it will draw you deeper into the experience and give you the gift that you have not been privy to experience in the past.

Ofcourse, you can apply this to intercourse as well. No matter your gender or sexual orientation, there is often some sort of sexual intercourse involved. It is important to let your partner know that you want to go slightly slower this time in whatever way you feel comfortable communicating that. As the intercourse begins, notice the sensations you are feeling. All parts of you are experiencing sensations from your head to your penis or vagina to your feet. If you find yourself thinking about something, notice that you are thinking about something and gently bring yourself back to your sensations. If you find yourself judging your self or the other person, just notice that you are judging and gently bring yourself back to your sensations.

Gifts:

Paying attention to your sensations may also broaden your horizons on things you want to do. Maybe you notice that while having intercourse that you are not tasting anything so you decide to taste your partner by kissing or licking him/her. Maybe you want to smell your partner more to bring in that sensation. Maybe you open your ears and begin to hear what the sex you are having sounds like. Maybe you’re now noticing for the first time what other areas of your body are being touched during intercourse besides your penis, vagina, or nipples. You might just discover an erotic area of your body that you had not noticed before (e.g., back of the knees, toes).

Having mindful sex is simply a teaching and a suggestion. If a spontaneous act of aggressive sex comes out and it is not a slightly slowed down process, than that is Ok too. This is simply an opportunity to broaden your awareness about yourself during the act of sex and deepening the richness of your experience. Of all things we have to experiment with on this planet, this is surely one of the top. So, responsibly, go off and try this out, have fun, and broaden your horizons! You may just find that sex is a far more sensual and sacred experience than you had previously imagined

Author Info:

Elisha Goldstein is a 4th year doctoral student at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology in Palo Alto. He is currently exploring how the cultivation of sacred moments in daily life affects well-being and stress. If you would consider participating in this invaluable study, please go to http://sacredmomentstudy.blogspot.com

7 Tricks for Lasting Longer in Bed. A Crash Course in Sexual Stamina

2006-04-20T10:12:00.000-07:00

My extensive experiences with tantric yoga, ancient sexuality practices, and contemporary western therapeutic paradigms have exposed me to many 'tricks-of-the-trade' when it comes to coming.

In this article I'll attempt to distill some of this simple but powerful wisdom. Hopefully men seeking to improve their sexual stamina, or even just to educate themselves sexually, can begin to use this as a roadmap for their quest. And a very worthy quest it is too, (speaking as a woman).

If there is one thing I cannot resist it is a man who is dedicated to learning more about his body and sexuality in general.

I know I speak for a lot of other women when I say that the most important quality in a lover is a commitment to improving the quality of his, and his partner's, sexual experiences.

THE TRICKS TO LASTING LONGER

1. Relax and increase your body awareness

There are very many techniques out there to help you relax and be more able to 'feel' your body. As a yoga practitioner I have experience with very many powerful relaxation, meditation and breathing techniques.

Perhaps the simplest one is just paying attention to your breathing during sex. Not controlling it, just noticing it.

Masters and Johnson also developed a technique known as "sensate focus exercises" which I use extensively in my practice as sexual surrogate therapist and sex 'coach'.

2. Focus on pleasure in sex, rather than sexual performance.

Let go of any expectations about the outcome of sex. Going into a sexual experience with a 'plan' robs you of any ability to be open minded.

You cannot learn from sex if you are focused on how it should look.

Instead, notice the pleasure as it is happening. The pleasure will show you what is good. It is the ultimate teacher when it comes to sex.

3. Increase awareness of your sexual arousal.

Again, open your awareness to your feelings of pleasure and pay close attention to your arousal levels. Awareness is the first step to understanding; which is itself a step towards mastery.

Focus on your pleasure during sex, during masturbation, or even the subtle pleasure you experience when a gorgeous woman gets on the bus.

4. Extend your sexual arousal to higher levels.

There are many techniques you can learn to extend your pleasure. As you become more aware of your sexual arousal a natural increase in your arousal level is inevitable.

This will happen because you will become familiar and comfortable with your pleasure, and your body will propel you to greater heights naturally.

Be sure to practice sex and pleasure often, so your body can keep teaching you.

5. Master your sexual arousal consistently at higher levels.

As your sexual pleasure naturally increases with more practice, you will begin to 'play' with it.

Manipulate your breathing patterns, sexual energy field and subtle internal sensations, to the point that you can begin to feel mastery over them.

Again, ancient wisdom, sex manuals and other people's experiences are full of eye opening possibilities.

6. Become accustomed to a steady level of intense arousal.

Get into the habit of building your sexual pleasure and indulging in it fully. Let the moments you feel pleasure expand.

Let the arousal continue as if it didn't need to end ever. It will of course, but you don't care when ... just let it happen.

7. Stop thinking

Drop your conscious mind out of the picture. Investigate or experiment with techniques to get your internal dialogue to shut up.

Experience all of this intense and joyous pleasure, not in your head, not by thinking about it ... but in your body. Feel it!

THE KEY is connecting more deeply to your own sensations and feelings.

Here's a bonus tricky tip for you. It's also the most important one.

8. Remember your own commitment to learn and grow.. . it all comes back to you.

By the way, if some of these tricks seem to be a bit of a tease it's because they are. Each one could be the subject of several very in depth articles or sexuality workshops.

I want you to take the time to ponder these tricks and look further. I wish you well on your adventures and I wish you very much pleasure.

Love,
Mukee

Author Info: Mukee Okan is a world renowned sexual therapist and spiritual guide. She is based in Phoenix and keeps herself busy running workshops and sessions in Europe, North America, Asia, Australia and New Zealand. Visit http://www.erectileejaculation.com to download free audio files or purchase her e-book on overcoming premature ejaculation.

A Tantric Perspective on Premature Ejaculation

2006-04-20T10:07:00.000-07:00

Part 1 of a Radio Interview with Mukee Okan.

Copyright 2005 Mukee Okan

(Mukee Okan, acclaimed sexual healer and champion of sexual fulfillment is interviewed about her work curing premature ejaculation.)

D: Welcome. I'm Dr. Jeanette Case, and we're going to be talking tonight with Mukee Okan.

Mukee describes herself as a transformation agent and mentor to all dedicated to enhancing their intimate relationships and experiencing their sexual energy as a whole new level of positive experience.

Her focus is sex for more pleasure, creativity, energy, and abundance in your life every day. Originally from Australia, Mukee is a Sacred Sexuality teacher.

Her foundation is Tantra, a philosophy that encourages an acceptance of sex as natural and life affirming. She is also highly trained as a sexual surrogate partner therapist in the Western medical model.

Mukee has guided many individuals and couples for many years in simple ways to have more balance, happiness and fulfillment in their sex lives.

She claims that she can guide any man to transform premature ejaculation forever, so that you can last longer every single time. She says this is essential to a better sex life. So welcome, Mukee.

M: Thank you, Jeanette.

D: Let's go ahead and get started with some of these questions. You know, tell me about the basis of the claim that you make that you can help someone overcome the problem of premature ejaculation, especially since you're a woman.

M: Well, as you know, I'm absolutely dedicated to the upliftment of the sexual well-being of humanity - that is my work -and so the most frequent sexual concern that I'm asked to help with is premature ejaculation.

So all of the techniques that I teach, the controlling premature ejaculation and lasting longer, now I've been using them very successfully with male clients for at least the last ten years. So I know they work.

D: Well now, why is there such a focus on lasting longer?

M: Well, to focus on lasting longer, we really need to look at a bigger perspective. So that would involve seeing that sexual energy is our life force energy.

You know, it's not just a stress release thing, you know, when we have sex with our partner. There is a much bigger perspective.

So it's the same energy that makes everything possible that's in existence, from the sun and the planets and the oceans to human beings and the plants and the animals; the driving force is our sexual energy. So that in a way is our will to live.

And so the birthright of every human being is to fully experience their infinite capacity for pleasure, for orgasm and for intimacy. And so number one, most people don't realize that your sexual energy is for your health.

Your health physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. So when a man learns how to increase his capacity to first of all experience pleasure by lasting longer, they're able to experience longer periods of arousal and his sex life has a totally different quality.

So rather than just being a stress release mechanism, it can become a rich, fulfilling experience for a man, and his partner of course.

D: Wow, that just puts a totally new light on it. So now why do men experience premature ejaculation?

M: I would say the number one reason that men experience it is anxiety of, "Oh my god, it's gonna happen again," or simply being totally back in the past and stressed out and in a state of tension because that is what happens near pretty much all of the time or all of the time.

And so in a way the cause of premature ejaculation, or why men experience it, is psychological. It's to do with the way that they're thinking, rather than being present in their body.

And I'd actually like to define what premature ejaculation is, because a lot of men ask me, "Well, my natural sexual response, you know, I seem to come very very quickly.Is that normal? How long should it be?"

And so really the definition of premature ejaculation is an inability to delay ejaculation to the point where it's mutually desirable for both partners.

And so you see the definition is quite subjective. So you can't put, you know, a timed thing on what premature ejaculation is. The crucial thing is that if a man and his partner is satisfied with their sexual interaction or not.

And so, when we go back to the psychological causes of why a man might experience that, let's look first of all at anxiety and concern, usually about sexual performance.

So a man might have incredible anxiety about pleasing his partner, he might have so much tension in his body that he's not even really aware of the sensations in his body.

So that seems to be one of the key things that happens for a man who's experiencing sex like this.

D: Well now, is there anything that a man can do to change all of this?

M: There is a lot that a man can do to change this, and really the basis of what I've found that works over and over again for a man is to be able to experience more relaxation.

Simple relaxation and letting go of any kind of outcome or specific outcome of what it should look like and what's meant to happen and how long he's meant to last for.

And so there are two key pieces, but also when you look at the bigger perspective again, if a man can reframe sex as a natural healing act, that can change his entire outlook on letting go of the performance and what it should look like.

Then another key piece is actually educating himself about his body first of all, and then obviously about his partner's.

But the more that a man learns about his own physical body and his own sexual response as intimately as he can, then he's naturally going to have a lot more confidence in how he has his sex life.

(In Part 2 of this interview Mukee Okan describes what steps a woman can take to help her partner last longer in bed. She also describes some straightforward techniques for a man to practice in order to delay ejaculation.)

Author Info: Mukee Okan's mission is to educate and inspire sexual freedom, so people can open and surrender to self-love and self-awareness and experience full presence and intimate connection. Receive the rest of this interview and other inspirational sex tips by signing up at http://www.erectilejaculation.com

Cunnilingus for Morons: How to Eat Pussy Like a Pro

2006-04-19T11:16:00.000-07:00

I remember the first time I went down on a girl: I was only a teenager and that first experience nearly put me off for life. But it's like oysters and beer - an acquired taste.

The young lady in question had just given me my first blowjob - an unmitigated disaster if ever there was one. The jizz was outta the bottle before those hot lips and tongue got anywhere near the target. She insisted I return the favour: the fact that she hadn't really done anything counted for nothing. I had to do it, or all our friends were going to know I was a dud. So, down I went. My God! I don't think the girl had washed her cunt for ages, it was hairy as bear (this is over twenty years ago, mind). I had no idea where to lick, what a clit was or anything. The fumes were shocking, but I stuck my tongue somewhere (I think a little too close to the piss hole!), she groaned a bit, I licked some more, and thankfully she put an end to the ordeal fairly quickly.

Now it's a different kettle of fish (so to speak). Women today tend to shave, wax or at least trim their cunny jungles, so that's a blessing. With the hair removed, that whole hole area is so much more hygienic and a lovely place to be.

The first thing to do is throw away all ideas about technique. Just get your mouth down there and go for it. If you have any instincts at all, the rest will come to you. But to do a good job of it (and this makes most women come, believe me), try this.

Firstly, once you have become used to the notion, and you start to enjoy the flavour and aroma of an aroused, clean vagina, you can employ some fancy-pants methodology. Go slow. Lick gently around her outer lips, then the inner lips. Leave her clit alone for a minute as she will enjoy the agonising ecstasy of waiting for the intense feeling that tongue-on-clit massage produces. Insert a finger gently as you are doing this gentle licking. As she rocks her hips, take this as a signal to be a little firmer. Also, don't be afraid to nibble her cunt lips with your teeth.

When you do get to the clit, roll your tongue around in a circular motion. A trick a friend told me works wonders at this point: trace the alphabet all around her vulva, concentrating on her clitoris every fourth or fifth letter. Unless she has a pussy that reads Braille, she won't know that you are specifically employing a tactic. She'll just imagine you are a virtuoso cunnilinguist.

The most important thing is to listen for signals from her. Even better, before you start tell hr you want to know if you are doing things the way she wants, or if you are missing the bits she likes. Ask her to say "Yes, baby", or whatever you agree on for the good stuff, and something like "Not quite, baby" if you stuff up. The second one, if said gently, cannot be taken as criticism - just guidance.

When you get really good at sucking pussy, she will do anything for you. Get her to come first - her clit will be swollen and you will make her come more easily from straight fucking. Be sure to grind your pelvis into her clit, and it won't matter whether you have the tiniest cock in the world - she'll come for you, and she'll love you! And, here's the big pay off: once you get really good at licking her beautiful little mouse's ear, she will have fewer excuses for not sucking your dick. Give her good head, and you will get good head in return.

Finally, the best way to success on the path to being a top-flight pussy eater is to practise at every opportunity you get.

As one lesbian said to another - if you can't join 'em, lick 'em.

Which reminds me: another great way to learn is to watch lesbian porn. I know they aren't real lesbians (usually), but they aren't going to suck cunt badly on purpose, are they? You can be sure, girls know what girls like. To be doubly sure, get a movie that has been directed by a woman - it will have less anal and more vaginal sex in it.

***********************
Cam Langdon, http://www.contacttoday.com

Talking Dirty

2006-04-18T11:06:00.000-07:00

The Genetic Effect
Like women are born with certain stereotypical characteristics to understand and feel with their hearts, men are made with certain stereotypical characteristics as well. One of them refers to the fact that they are most likely to talk dirty. From abuses to sexually explicit and erotic talks, men are known to enjoy this and much more. Women have over a period of time understood this fact and have grown to make this a part of their foreplay features. Many sex therapists believe that good communication is the key to a great sex life, its also at times the reverse when used in moderation, that brings about great results.

Like with all kinds of communication, communicating what you like and dislike with your partner can be as important as talking dirty. Once you’ve decided on your particular comfort zones for sexual gratification, you also need to get in variation of sorts. Some of this variation comes with fitness, some with losing weight, stretching and some with talking dirty. On your path to great sex and while treading carefully on the passage of foreplay, is also indicative of the words that you speak, a harsh word here and a strong one there and down goes all your effort of luring yourself and your partner in a roll of hay a total waste!

Sometimes, however, talking about your sexual fantasies may help you gain better understanding of your spouse and get the both of you in the mood so as to speak. In a way both these kinds of communication in the sexual context is considered good for the both of you. The theory of wild sex also hinders around the same. While love bites and nail marks can spill the ecstasy in making love so can words.

Although women have been known to be rather uncomfortable with obscene words, its considered to be an added advantage for them during sex. Today men and women are equally comfortable in being obscene in bed. In fact most sex therapists have had men and women wanting for more as dirty talk enhances the sexual process ensuring an orgasmic effect. Obscene words enhance the sexual flush before intercourse, building up the heat and making room for an ecstatic ride for love making. The sex chats and sex talks on the phone are proof of obscenity being successful. In marriage too, there are variations to the way you want to prove your point.

Assuming a situation wherein you want to simply "do it", would be a boring way to put it across. If you had to announce the words, "I want to screw you", well then, that may be a better way to dash to the mattress. And if you thought that mentioning to your wife or husband, (whichever be the case) you would get her flush into the sexual rage, then be sure you don’t tell her that you wanna have a "sexual intercourse" with her, she’ll probably tell you to get married to your medical books rather than she spend her best years with you. In short, if you’re planning a great night or the day whichever one you may choose, do away with clinical terms to fire up the excitement.

Especially in a darkly lit environment, talking dirty can raise temperatures no other sexual toy or vibrator ever could. Words are often powered with touch, while making a head way for great sex. Novels and books on talking dirty is stimulating enough for one to make a headway back to the bed. Phrases like "I moved her lawn", " she had me all over her breasts", are words that have the best effect if you’re seeking true variations in your mundane sex life. Marriages thrive on understanding, especially sexual understanding.

More often than not, if you don’t spice up your life, its quite possible for you to get weary of your man, or wife for that matter, if you want to boost you immune system through good sex. Talking about things is one of the many factors that can help you get back your life on track. In conclusion, your English Literature teacher was right, language really does matter!

No Quick Sex, Please, We're British

2006-04-11T11:39:00.001-07:00

Britain leads the world in delayed action in bed, it was revealed yesterday.

A survey produced by condom maker Durex - who else? - shows that we spend 22.5 minutes in foreplay, 36 seconds ahead of the German runners-up and more than three minutes more than the so-called sexy French.

Bottom of the world league are the Thais, who get the preliminaries over in a mere 11.5 minutes (perhaps it's the heat) and would probably urge the Brits to get on with it.

At this stage you have to ask how these measurements were made in 41 countries: lovers with stopwatches? Discreet researchers with clipboards? Egg timers?

The Durex report does not explain. But it makes clear that 350,000 people replied to its global sex survey.

Britons come third in the vibrator league (almost half of us own one) but have sex a mere 119 times a year, way behind the French, who manage it 137 times (probably because they spend only 19 minutes in foreplay).

Sad to say, we are well down the orgasms table. The Italians are champions, with 61% saying they have an orgasm every time they have sex. The Serbians and Montenegrins are panting not far behind but only 19% of Chinese hit the jackpot every time and more than one in 10 of them have never had an orgasm.

But the Chinese compensate by sleeping around a bit: they say they have an average of 19.3 sexual partners each, compared with the more restrained Vietnamese, who have two and a half each.

A quarter of those surveyed confessed to faking an orgasm in the previous year. But 82% of Macedonians and Serbs/Montenegrins bragged that they did not need to.

The survey shows that 35% of the 350,000 watched porn with their partners, 22% donned blindfolds or handcuffs and one in five used sex toys. Women are keener on porn than men, and are more likely to reach for the blindfolds and cuffs.

Icelanders are the quickest to sample the pleasures of the flesh and have sex for the first time at an average age of 15.7. Perhaps it's the cold. The Vietnamese don't get round to it till they are nearly 20.

Sixty-four per cent of Swedes and Danes have had unprotected sex without knowing their partner's sexual history.

The survey does not suggest what percentage of respondents may have lied.

Love Better

2006-04-11T11:37:00.000-07:00

The most interesting thing is that the very first aphrodisiac was produced from the human body itself. The pheromones, as we know them now, were the first signals for maturity of the body and hence readiness for sexual activity. Even as animals do till now, the earliest humans would identify a potential mate and his or her readiness and willingness. This order ruled till mankind started developing a culture and thereafter, the natural processes became more complicated. In fact, human body scents were far more significant in the process of reproduction before artificial perfumes like soaps, fragrances and shower gels came along. And much more effective too, it would seem. Today we have all but forgotten to use the natural smells of our body, more so because of the social taboos. Today we do know the power of the pheromones, but rarely use it.

There isn’t really much research done on human sexuality, and the biggest reason is the discomfort that sciences and scientists feel while dealing with any subject involving sex and sexual functions. It is absurd, but true. Besides, the field of human sexuality is made more complex by the involvement of scientifically unexplainable things like emotions, love, attraction and …chocolates. Most of the knowledge obtained is from research on animals, not humans.

An aphrodisiac, as we use the term today, is something that inspires lust, not meant to cure impotence or infertility. Very recently have we learnt that sexual dysfunction is a medical condition. Any lack of lust, potency, or fertility would have a common cure in an aphrodisiac.

Though the eastern cultures were in the forefront of the history of aphrodisiacs, the non-scientific evidence and knowledge about aphrodisiacs has existed for thousands of years in various societies. Some of it is true and some of it isn’t. And there’s no way to know, since science and sex have never been compatible partners.

Aphrodisiacs come in a surprising number of forms including animal, plant, food, and chemical substances, most with no scientific basis other than in folklore, anecdotal evidence, and common knowledge. Research conducted on ginseng, green oats, mauri, yohimbe, viagra, and other substances suggests a strong link between these substances and heightened sexual response.

Would you believe that oysters, potatoes, skink flesh, and sparrow brains were all once considered aphrodisiacs? In Europe, up to the eighteenth century, many recipes were based on the theories of the Roman physician Galen, who wrote that foods worked as aphrodisiacs if they were ‘warm and moist’ and also ‘windy’, meaning they produced flatulence. Spices, mainly pepper, were important in aphrodisiac recipes. And because they were reckoned to have these qualities, carrots, asparagus, anise, mustard, nettles, and sweet peas were commonly considered aphrodisiacs.

Mandrake root was eaten as an aphrodisiac as well as a cure for female infertility, because the forked root resembled a woman's thighs. Similarly, oysters looked like female genitals. Parts of the skink, a kind of lizard, were thought to be an aphrodisiac for centuries. Potatoes, both sweet and white, were once known as an aphrodisiac in Europe, probably because they were a rare delicacy when they were first transplanted from the Americas.

The ancient Greeks thought sparrows were especially lustful. Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love (from whose name, of course, ‘aphrodisiac’ is derived) was supposed to have held sparrows sacred. Because of the association with Aphrodite, Europeans were inclined to eat sparrows, particularly their brains, as aphrodisiacs.

St Thomas Aquinas, a 13th-century friar, thought aphrodisiac foods had to produce ‘vital spirit’ and provide good nutrition. So meat and wine, considered to produce the ‘vital spirit’, were aphrodisiacs. While a little alcohol can lower inhibitions and get you in the mood, overindulgence can have the opposite effect on performance. "It increases the desire but it takes away the performance" comes from Macbeth.

In more recent times, Paola Sandroni, MD, a neurologist at the Mayo Clinic studied the scientific evidence on many supposed aphrodisiacs, and published her findings in the journal Clinical Autonomic Research. She said that to call coffee or anything that contains caffeine an aphrodisiac would be misleading. "I think the effect is much more general," she says. In the same way, cocaine and amphetamines may seem to be aphrodisiacs because they stimulate the central nervous system, but they have no specific effects on sexual desire.

Sandroni also looked at ambergris, which comes from the guts of whales and is used in perfumes. Some consider ambergris an aphrodisiac and there is evidence to support this notion. In animal studies, it increased levels of testosterone in the blood, which is essential to the male sex drive, and is thought to play a part in women's libido as well.

The most well known aphrodisiac is the fabled Spanish fly. Its active ingredient is the chemical cantharidin, which irritates genital membranes. It also causes kidney malfunction or gastrointestinal hemorrhages in people who ingest too much. A quick Internet search is all it takes to find some for sale.

Most over-the-counter aphrodisiacs are generally reliable to use in moderation. Fortunately, humans are born with the greatest aphrodisiac known to exist. The human brain is more potent than the strongest drug and more powerful than any known aphrodisiac. The human sexual organs pale in the shadow of the brain’s creativity. No matter how powerful or potent the aphrodisiac, the experience will always be less than it could be without a meeting of the minds and hearts of the partners involved, in any type of sexual experience.

As The Roman poet Ovid wrote in The Art of Love, "Prescribe no more my muse, nor medicines give / Beauty and youth need no provocative."

When Sex Got Boring

2006-04-11T11:35:00.000-07:00

'Let's talk about sex,' is the slogan for the new film about Alfred Kinsey, and in his time that was a pretty heroic thing to do. The man who helped to convince the western world that masturbation is not unnatural and homosexuality not a sin had to struggle against forces of conservatism and intolerance every day of his life; his determination to take them on was what made him something of a hero. But the film also reminds us that his times are not our times.

Because Kinsey lived in an age that could be straightforwardly optimistic about the rewards offered by sexual frankness. He believed that there was no sexual problem that could not be solved by more and more and more information. His mammoth work, resting on interviews with thousands of individuals, epitomised the idea that frank talk is infinitely valuable when it comes to sex. And not just talk - his vast archive of information also contained explicit pictures and film of people having sex and masturbating. Pictures and film that his friends and colleagues were sometimes bullied into providing, for the sake of breaking through the intolerance and prudishness of his era by showing, for instance, whether men squirted or dribbled when they ejaculated.

What Kinsey could not have foreseen is how, once society had changed, the joyful urgency of that movement towards greater explicitness would dissipate. The recent shift in the way that people feel about the pure value of sexual display is not just evidence of a new moral conservatism. In a culture where every kind of sexual behav iour is on view all the time - if not in your newspaper or on your television channel, then a click of a mouse button away - even liberals of the sort who would once have flocked to give their testimony to Kinsey and listen to the testimony of others are tired of feeling like voyeurs.

This is not because we want any return to the old ways of shame and intolerance, but because explicitness has become such a dead end. Every kind of sexual behaviour is so excessively documented and, rather than opening out the possibility of new worlds, that reduces the excitement of discovery. We live in a completely changed world from the 1940s, and now the decision to spend one's life documenting other people's sex histories would not be heroic but utterly banal. For the first time in human history, it is easy for people to watch strangers having sex, to hear strangers talking about sex, to discuss their own sexual behaviour with strangers.

When artists today put their faith in the power of pure explicitness to convey the flavour of desire, they end up with something altogether underwhelming. Nine Songs, which is released this Friday, is the most explicit British film ever to be shown in mainstream cinema. It is Kinsey-esque in its unsmiling celebration of "sex reduced to its physiological functions" (as Liam Neeson puts it in the Kinsey movie).

The director of Nine Songs, Michael Winterbottom, seems to believe that he is making a moral point by allowing us to watch people engaged in real sex on screen. As Winterbottom has said: "Part of the point of making the film was to say, 'What's wrong with showing sex?'"

He laments the coyness of other cinematic treatments of sex. "Cinema has been extremely conservative and prudish," he says. Perhaps Winterbottom has never noticed the growth of the internet and the porn video. The reality is that Nine Songs, with its terribly serious desire to show us everything and turn away from nothing, is not going to usher in an era of more explicit treatment of sexuality in mainstream cinema. Although there is this small genre of film-making - Nine Songs belongs to a category inhabited by a few other films, such as Intimacy, Romance and Baise-Moi - whose unique selling point is showing real sex, it has become a collection of curiosities rather than part of a mainstream movement.

Now that we live in a time where display is so inescapable and everything is out there, artists who really want to get the viewer to taste and feel the power of fictional desire are usually choosing to show very little. Rather than falling into the blandness of a purely physical take on sex - and for all its explicitness Nine Songs is infinitely forgettable and under-characterised - the unexpected truth about the art of this new century is that the cinematic depictions of sexual desire that are most intriguing and memorable are not at all explicit.

Although intimate sex scenes still pop up in mainstream cinema, they are usually there for comic rather than sensual effect: in Sideways, for example, it is the creep's relationship that gets pictured with heaving buttocks and groans, and the hero's one where the camera only goes as far as the bedroom door. In recent years films as different as Closer, Before Sunset, Lost in Translation or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind have powerfully explored desire through conversation, reminiscence and suggestion rather than thrust and counterthrust. When everything has been said and everything has been shown, being explicit is simply too easy; being sexy is the difficult thing.

Men, Women, and Sex

2006-04-11T11:29:00.000-07:00

During my many years of counseling couples, I have frequently worked with the sexual problems that often occur in committed relationships. The most common complaint from men regarding sex is frequency, and the most common complaint from woman is lack of emotional intimacy.

There is a very good reason why these are the most common complaints – men and women are very different when it comes to sex!

The biological sexual drive, or lack of it, relates to how much testosterone is present. Men biologically have much more testosterone than women. Men’s biology equips them to be ready for sex most of the time, which is nature’s way of ensuring the survival of the species. Women, on the other hand, often do not experience a biological sexual drive unless they are in the middle of their menstrual cycle. This fact can create a big problem in relationships.

I’ve often heard men complain that:

"It’s not fair. My wife is in control of our sex life. If she wants it, then we have it. If she doesn’t, then I have no say about it. Why does it always have to be her way?"

"My wife complains that she needs to feel intimate before we make love, but I get to intimacy through making love."

"I don’t reach out for sex much anymore because I’m tired of being rejected, but my wife says she wants to be pursued in a romantic way. This feels like a no-win to me."

"I think if my wife really cared about me and my needs, she would have sex with me even when she wasn’t turned on."

I’ve often heard women complain that:

"He always seems to be ready for sex, but I don’t feel turned on unless we are feeling close. I can’t just watch TV all evening and then feel like making love."

"I often feel pulled on for sex, as if having sex is more important than caring about me. When I do what he wants, I feel used, and when I don’t, I run into his anger, resentment, blame or withdrawal. It feels like a no-win."

"My husband often comes to me like a needy little boy, wanting me to pacify him or validate him with sex. Ugh! There is nothing erotic about an insecure, needy little boy!"

"There must be something wrong with me. I just don’t ever feel turned on anymore."

The very real issue here, at least for most men under 40, is that they are biologically motivated and women are mostly emotionally motivated. Heterosexual women get turned on when their man is warm, open, caring, and personally powerful. Most women are not turned on by a man who is closed, distant, angry, blaming, or needy.

The problems of frequency can get resolved as men and women learn to understand and accept each other’s differences. Men need to understand and accept that women are not as biologically motivated as men are. Many women rarely even think about sex, while most men will tell you that they think about sex frequently throughout the day. When men understand that women are turned on by love, romance, emotional intimacy, warmth, caring, and personal power, then men may be motivated to learn to be the loving, powerful and romantic partners that women want and need.

When women can accept that men’s biology is very present for them, they can stop putting men down for it and start supporting their men in creating more emotional intimacy, romance, and personal power. When women criticize men instead of understanding and accepting them, they help to create some of the insecurity that is such a turn off to many women. When a woman can appreciate rather than demean her man for his sexuality, she can find ways of meeting his needs without feeling used.

Understanding and accepting each other’s differences and needs can lead both men and women toward more satisfying sex lives.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions Available.

Marriage & Infidelity: Cheating Spouses Can't Hide Their Extramarital Affairs From The Truth

2006-04-10T09:48:00.000-07:00

We all lie. A world without little white lies would be uncivilized. But 99% of us have told bigger lies in our lifespan. For most of us, lies told in our personal life makes us feel bad. However, we still continue to lie and cheat.

Few events cause as much turmoil in a marriage as infidelity, which can reduce a marriage to rubble, shatter trust and create a breeding ground for insecurity, mistrust and resentment. Most of us have witnessed affairs among people we know, and some of us even have had affairs ourselves. This kind of thing happens in the real world, and it happens all the time. One third of all married couples admit to having cheated on their mates. Let's not be naïve. That's quite a large number of people taking risks!

Affairs begin with two people who find each other interesting and attractive. For whatever reason, the relationship escalates into romance and, finally, into sexual intimacy. People who seek romance and sexual intimacy outside of their primary relationship feel that their relationship is missing something, so they go out and they seek it from someone else.

If you feel deep in your heart, that your spouse is lying and being unfaithful to you, here are some ways to be sure. One of the techniques professionals use to tell who is lying, and who is telling the truth is to follow eye movements. Neuro-Linguistic Programming says that when people are constructing imaginary or fantasy images we look up and to the left if we are right-handed and up and to the right if we are left-handed. Think, "What color is my Mom’s hair?" Where did your eyes go? Now think, "I’m an astronaut and when I went to the moon I made a snow-man out of moon dust." Where did your eyes go this time?

In the book, Telling Lies by lie-catcher Paul Ekman, he presents his 'facial action coding system.' These are the facial expressions we all use that are hard-wired to the brain and will show up without our conscious control. Charles Bond, a psychologist at Texas Christian University reported that among 2,520 adults surveyed in 6.3 countries, more than 70% believe that liars tend to avert their gazes and/or stutter, touch, or scratch themselves or tell longer stories than usual.

If you’re spouse is working too many late nights, think about this next time you ask them what their plans are for the night.

Although, there has been some research lately that says this analysis is too simplistic to be counted upon, detectives continue to use it along with other tools. There was a story in Outside Magazine about a detective involved in an investigation of a poaching in a national park. He claimed he could tell within one minute if someone was lying. I got very excited and tracked him down to a sub-station in Wyoming. He said that he teaches his skills to trainees in one hour but he wouldn’t tell me what they were. Maybe he thought I was a secret poacher (which is hard to be in Santa Barbara)

Here are some other ways to tell if your partner or spouse is lying and having an extramarital affair:

If their answer to your question is brief, clear, and direct, that is a good sign that it is true.

Liars start to elaborate and repeat themselves and sometimes their story or the details change.

The more a liar tries, the more you need to worry.

An extramarital affair takes a great deal of energy. The lying, sneaking around, and destroying of evidence all take tremendous amounts of energy. The onset of guilty feelings about having the affair, in the first place, further zaps whatever energy the partner having the affair might still have left. And, guess what all this used energy is a complete waste, because liars cannot control the ‘leakage’ of their true feelings, which run in micro-expressions that last half a second. It is so ordinary, so much a part of our everyday lives and everyday conversations that we hardly notice it.

Article Source: http://www.thearticlezone.com

Wendy Allen, Ph.D., is an expert on marriage and infidelity. She will help you move through the normal but mind blowing phases of discovery, betrayal and loss. You can't go back to the way things were, but you can move forward and capture the good moments in life again. Check out www.survive-the-affair.com for a FREE AUDIO DOWNLOAD filled with tips to help you get through this difficult time.

Exercises for Better Sex

2006-04-07T16:22:00.000-07:00

Sex is a physical activity so naturally getting and keeping fit will greatly improve your love-making skills. Here are some exercises for better sex.

The pubococcygeal (PC) muscles
The muscles you use to stop urinating midstream are called the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles. If you're male they’re also the muscles that contract when you ejaculate. You can learn to build control over them and prolong ejaculation by doing an exercise called a Kegel. Start by doing a short clench of your PC muscles, relax, and then try to do a longer clench for about 10 to 15 seconds. Repeat ten times, at least three times a day. The more you do the better control you will have.

Kegel exercises are good for women to do as well. By practicing them you will have more control over your vaginal muscles. You'll get more sexual satisfaction and a reduced chance of vaginal infections.

Pelvic lifts
Lie down on your back with your knees bent and your hands by your side. Lift your pelvis up and down as if you were having sexual intercourse. This is a great exercise for the doggy-style position. It's also my favorite exercise for better sex.

Push-ups
Lie down on your stomach with your hands parallel to your shoulders. Push up with your hands until your arms are straight and your chest and knees are off the ground. Then lower your body so it almost touches the ground. Repeat ten to twenty times.

Crunches
Lie down on your back with your knees bent. Cross your feet together and lift them off the ground so that they are parallel to the floor. With your hands on the back of your head or crossed against your chest lift your chest off the ground using your stomach. Be sure to focus on a spot on the ceiling to avoid straining your neck. Do three sets of twenty each.

Slides
Lie down on your back with your knees bent. Place your hands on the top of your thighs and slide them to the top of your knees, lifting your chest off the ground and using your stomach muscles. Slide your hands back down to your thighs. Do three sets of twenty each. Again, be sure to focus on a spot on the ceiling to avoid straining your neck

Prayers
Lie down on your back with your knees bent and legs apart. With your hands in a prayer position push them through your legs, lifting your chest off the ground and using your stomach muscles. Do three sets of twenty each.

Do push-ups and stomach exercises to strengthen your shoulder, back and abdominal muscles. You won’t tire as easy when you’re making love.

About the Author
Kevin Davies is author of the "The Eros Hummingbird" eBook. In this eBook you'll learn essential information about the female G-spot and a new sexual technique that will give your lover the most intense orgasms she has ever had. To buy "The Eros Hummingbird" please visit http://www.eroshummingbird.com

Sexual Health

2006-04-04T14:35:00.000-07:00

Sex isn’t just good, it’s good for you! Mounting evidence suggest that sex keeps us healthy, the more you have it the better off you are. It’s a proven fact that healthy people have more sex, some of the potential benefits of sex are-

1. Sex is anti depression and anti stress; release of orgasm provides instant relief and provides excellent sleep. A recent survey reveals that people using condom during sex display more signs of depression than those having skin to skin sex.
2. Orgasm is as powerful pain killer as any prescribed drugs.
3. A recent study reveals that women who have oral sex and swallow sperm have lower chances of high blood pressure.
4. Sex helps protection against stroke.
5. Frequent ejaculation decreases the risk of prostrate cancer; it doesn’t matter how you reach the climax (masturbation or sex).
6. Sex is a helping hand in healing wounds faster.
7. Sex is a form of exercise and like all exercises it helps you burn calories.

All sexual dysfunction have medical cause so don’t feel humiliated while discussing sexual failure with your doctor. Diabetes, liver or kidney disease, drug abuse, smoking and excessive alcohol can lead to erectile dysfunction. Share your problem openly with the doctor, he will guide you and tell you about the recommended prescription drugs. Don’t get strangled into myths related to erectile dysfunction, don’t feel yourself incomplete. Online prescription drugs like Levitra Cialis and Viagra can help your cause.

Levitra Vardenafil (Levitra) is the second oral medicine approved by the Food & Drug Association of USA for the treatment of erectile dysfunction in men. The effectiveness of Levitra is proved with the tests that doctors have undertaken which said that Levitra was significantly better in improving men's ability to achieve and maintain erections in all age categories (less than 45, 45-65,and greater than 65 years of age) and in all races. To know more about Levitra visit:
http://www.levitratalks.com/what_is_levitra.html

Cialis: If you want to convert a tender moment into a right moment cialis will definitely help your cause. It is a proven ED tablet; it is effective as well as fast. Discuss your health status with your doctor and if you feel that it is the proper time check out the 36- hour Cialis.

Viagra: “An empty nest is a chance to fall in love all over again”. Viagra helps you achieve hard erection, it maintains erection during sex, and it’s safe as well as fast. Since reading the Sunday paper doesn’t take whole day so just go for Viagra.

Hearten your sexual instinct, feel sexcited, gain sexperience, convert your Sundays into fun days because there isn’t a surrogate for sex.

About the author:
For more information about Levitra and Erectile Dysfunction please visit:
http://www.levitratalks.com
Jessica Taylor
An Internet Researcher

Tips on Cunnilingus, Fellatio and Orgasms

2006-03-30T12:13:00.000-08:00

If you are wondering what I am going to share with you, then you are definitely in need of this article, especially after reading my teaser up there. I have shared many of my thoughts with you during the past few months. Mostly about females why`s and woe`s. I have had many men request that I give them more information on exactly what women like in the sex, and feelings department.

OK, well I will do what I do best, just simply share what my thoughts on these subjects are. Take them or leave them!

There are so many sites out there that are about dating, relationships, how to score, how to win, and yet men are still looking for answers. Why is that? Maybe it`s because not every answer fits every women! That may be your first hint guys. We are all different, what works on one women will make another women slap your face with disgust. So I would think that a good thing to do is to just chat a bit with the lady and get to know the side of her that she is willing to show you. Hopefully you are smart enough to listen to her, and learn as she talks. Oh, and please save the checking out her boobs or her butt until after you have won the first battle.

I truly believe men are so quickly blinded by our physical protrusions (wink) that they immediately lose their focus at first base. Guys, the body parts are not going anywhere. Have some class and be patient. OK, enough about that very somber subject. I will leave that for another show, as they say.

Women's feelings, as most men have already experienced are nothing to joke about. Women are sensitive creatures and at the same time very strong. Those two characteristics are nothing short of explosive. The beneficial side to these hard to deal with emotions is that women are just as equally passionate and loving towards the male gender. It is our passion that fuels our desires to be wanted by men. We send off certain signals that entice and attract men. Women know exactly how to win a mans heart. Remember, we are the more sensitive feeling being, of the two genders. We also deal with hormones that turn us into monsters one minute and little tiny babies in another. Our feelings are usually on the top of our skin. That's why we get hurt so much easier than men. We are child bearers, and that instinctively causes us to be more cautious and rely on our intuitions more than facts. So guys , please forgive us for being the more feeling human. Do not hate us for it, or get frustrated with us, but love us and know that for all the pain we share, we also share twice as much pleasure. That brings me to my next thought!

Sex, that is definitely a good thought not to mention a very fun act between men and women. Women love to be touched, and felt. She wants to feel your hands on her body. It is a very important physical connection that sends messages to her most intimate senses. When a man touches a woman's body, she feels wanted, she feels lusted, she feels craved, but most of all she feels SEXY! Her self-esteem will ROAR! That my dear sweet men, is exactly the point you want her at. You want her to feel SEXY!

Women do vary with having their breasts played with. This should be done gently at first, so to not turn her off. Some women love a very passionate kiss. A passionate kiss can be an instant orgasm. Women love to feel the sensation of your breathe on thier skin. That will surely send her to a new level of sensations. Women have very sensitive backs. A women's spine will tingle with the slightest touch of your finger tips. Kiss her shoulders, please. Kiss her belly! Kiss her thighs, that is another very sweet spot for women! Kiss her between her legs! She will be warm already, anticipating the sensation of your tongue! It is a very sweet way to taste the women that you desire! She will feel that much more open to you, knowing that you want every part of her body! Women`s bodies have so many sensations that it does take them a bit more time to get them to have an orgasm. The more sensations that you can get a women to feel, the higher she will go into her orgasm zones. Spend time tasting her, never rush her. Also please no not wear out just one spot. Women know there good spots, ask her to tell you what feels good. Be patient though, women do have a harder time talking about sex. Listen to her moans, read her body language, feel her wetness. All these are signs being sent to you. That's a plus for you also. The more orgasmic a women feels, the more adventurous she will be when it is you she wants to devour.

Remember, to tell her how SEXY she is and how sweet she tastes! Let her know how good she feels to you. Let her know that she is driving you crazy. Women also love to know that for sure. When men are quiet during sex, women feel that they are not exciting or sexy. Women need to hear that men want them and want to please them. When women feel they are wanted, that in turn makes them want to please their man. HMMM! Where do you think my thoughts are going now??

MHM!! Women also love to please their men. They know that men crave fellatio, better know to most as ,"Blow-jobs". (SMilz) Yes guys we know, we know. Women read more that you can imagine how just how to give their guy the best BJ. There are just as many books out there and sites on the internet about that as there are about how to please a woman. My hint to all the women wondering out there is...PRACTICE!!!! Body language from your man is a must to watch for. Not all men are the same. Some men are more sensitive in some areas that others. Just as women are also on different levels of sensations when it comes to oral sex. Another good tip ladies is your thoughts at the time of the Bj. Think sex. Think wet.Think suction. Think warm. Think HIM!! Love him!! But most of all suck him like you want it. The more he feels that you are just absolutely crazy for it, the more intense it is for him. Do not be afraid of what you are doing. You cannot hurt him unless you bite. That's a NO! NO!.... DO NOT BITE or SCRAPE! :) Don`t be afraid to ask him how it feels, or if there is anything more you can do to please him.

Communication, as in anything, is important in sex. It is after all, something that we want to enjoy with one another. Also we learn more about each other through sharing our physical desires. Ladies another very huge turn on for your man is when he sees you feel SEXY! When a man sees his woman sexy, confident and open to him, it will totally send him over the edge of lust for you. So lets get SEXY!!

When all is said and done, Cuddles is a biggie. We need to cuddle. It reassures us that everything was perfect. It's kind of like the icing on the cake. It bonds us on another level of communication. Some women and men have their best conversations when they cuddle. It is almost like a surrender of weapons.

Well these are my thoughts on this. I hope I have not offended anyone. I know this is a different subject than what you are use to reading. But I am human also, just like you. Also I wanted to show a little attitude of a different color for my readers.

Enjoy life and enjoy all of it benefits.

We only get but one shot at it.

Men and Women were made to enjoy each other.

So just do it!

http://www.womensselfesteem.com

Four Top Signs Of Attraction

2006-03-29T13:32:00.000-08:00

In today’s society, beauty, physical attraction, and sexuality are all commonly misunderstood as some transcendent inevitable fact; falsely interlocking the three makes it seem doubly true that in order to initiate attraction between a man and a woman, both sexes should be beautiful to be sexual.

That of course is not true at all. The definitions of beautiful, attraction, and sexual constantly change to serve the social order, and the connection between the three ideas is a recent invention.

Some psychologists contend that the disparity among the concepts of beauty, attractions, and sexuality is based on the premise that both sexes are inclined to physical or sexual attraction because women are able to view men just as men view women, as subjects for sexual and aesthetic evaluation.

In a survey conducted by an “evolutionary psychologist,” from 10,000 individuals who were interviewed, it was found out that men have high-regards to physical attraction in their budding sexual mates, while women attach importance to prominence, goals, and monetary sources.

No wonder why most cases of attraction are all based on sexuality and physical attributes. This is because men and women would rather have their significant others physically and sexually capable of giving them their necessities.

For instance, men are attracted to women who look good because this indicates excellent vigor and the capacity to produce offspring babies. On the other hand, women are attracted to men who look good because this indicates abundance in financial resources, in which, the ability to provide the basic necessities to their children is generated.

The point here is that both men and women may have their own basis for attraction but everything is generally focused on the physical and material aspects. This is because attraction is associated with the fact that the physical attributes motivate that part of the brain known as the “hypothalamus” that will produce different kinds of reactions from the body such as sexual arousal, increased heart rate, and perspiration.

So the question now is: How can the individual identify the clear signs of attraction?

There are many probable actions that might suggest attraction. However, the real signs include but not limited to the following:

1. Visual contact

This is when both a man and a woman gazed upon each other and instantly prolonged the moment as they look at each other longer than the typical glance.

Both are completely immersed on each other’s anecdote, and every word will impress them both. All eyes are glued to each other that send a message that they are drawn to each other.

2. Preen

Preening means to adorn oneself carefully or to groom oneself with particular attention to details. Hence, attraction sets in when both would try to instantly make a quick fix and conquer each other’s space.

3. Flirting

Teasing could have been the more appropriate term for it. This is when both sexes converse in a relaxed manner, with bodily actions associated to their thoughts and feelings, where, most often than not, sexual tensions and arousal are the primary upshots.

4. Physical contact

This is when a woman leans to wards the man and places a modest hand on his hand or arm. In this way, the woman is trying to tell the other person that she is attracted to him and that she is open to possibilities that involve the concerned person.

All of these things are boiled down to the fact that the asymmetry of the correlation among beauty, attraction, and sexuality that tells both men and women lies on how they both perceive each other’s physical attributes. This is inevitable because the lack of it will definitely keep them sexually estranged.

Attraction is generally focused on imagery that is exclusively on the physical attributes of both men and women, where the society has created a very important role. This goes to show that the signs of attraction indicate the clear identification of desirability.

Given all that, both men and women should make the choice, by and large, to take each other as human beings first and not just mere sexual objects.

It should be well noted that these signs of attraction may be well confined on the premise that both men and women send out these signs as a ticket to conquer each other’s space so as to start the “getting-to-know-each-other” stage.

Pick Up Guide is a new directory on the fine art of picking up members of the opposite sex. Visit us for our hundreds of articles on approaching women, getting phone numbers, conquering your shyness, and asking men or women out.

Seven Tips for Controlling Premature Ejaculation

2006-03-24T12:47:00.000-08:00

Premature ejaculation is embarrassing for the man and no fun for the woman. If you're having a bit of a problem going for the long run, here are 7 tips that will help.

Relax

Premature ejaculation often results from performance anxiety. Try oral sex, toys, fingers, and passionate kissing to build her passion. If she's sufficiently excited before intercourse she won’t need as much time to reach orgasm.

Take care of yourself beforehand

Premature ejaculation sometimes occurs because guys are too fired up. The slightest bit of action sets them off a bit too soon. Relieve some pressure by masturbating before the big event. Not right before because getting erect immediately afterwards might be difficult. A few hours before should do the trick.

Wear a condom

Decreasing sensitivity helps prevent premature ejaculation. One way to make the penis less sensitive is to cover it with a rubber. They're also good for protecting against STDs and unwanted pregnancy, so why not let a rubber help with premature ejaculation, too. Never put on more than one at a time thinking that thicker is better. It’s not.

Other desensitizing products

Specially-formulated creams containing topical anesthetics can help numb the penis and put premature ejaculation suffers at ease. Be careful though. Don’t accidentally numb your partner without her permission! Once the penis numbs, wash the cream off. Another option is to cover the cream with a condom. Just be sure the cream doesn’t contain ingredients that will cause the condom to weaken or break.

Think about something else

Careful with this one! If you think of the wrong thing, premature ejaculation may end up being one of several problems. Self-inflicting pain on another body part, memorizing mathematical equations, or creating images of unattractive women have helped some guys, but results do vary.

Steer clear of alcohol and drugs

Tuning in to your body and feelings can help you control premature ejaculation. When you’re in an altered state of mind, tuning in becomes difficult.

Do your homework

Several techniques have been developed that help men control the timing of their ejaculations. Mastering techniques such as the “pinch” method, or the “start-stop” method help men identify and focus on the moments that precede the “point of no return.”

Don’t give up on sex! These techniques and others have helped many men overcome the embarrassing and frustrating condition called premature ejaculation.

For more tips, tricks and techniques to last longer and make your lover scream in delight at your new “power” in bed , hurry and check out my blog on premature ejaculation now!

For Good Girls: 10 Ways To Release Your Inner Vixen

2006-03-24T12:42:00.000-08:00

Its inevitable, whether you've been married for 10 years or in a long term relationship for 5, sex gets dull. All too often women fall into the role of caregiver, maid and cook while allowing their sex appeal and desires to fade into the past. This can also carry over to the significant other who as well begins to think of passion as ancient history. Every woman is a siren, a Venus, a being of erotic nature. Sometimes, releasing this inner vixen is all that's needed to spark something new and remind your man that you ARE a goddess.

1. Buy Yourself A Sex Toy. Whether it's a vibrator, dildo or both, pick one up and surprise your man by pulling it out during your next interlude. Let's not forget girls, we don't have to get invited to a sex toy party or show up at a back alley adult store anymore. If you have access to this article, you have access to sex toys. There are multitudes of trusted sites online just waiting to discreetly ship you a toy in plain brown paper packaging.

2. Rent A XXX Movie. Rent or buy an adult film. If you don't feel comfortable walking into the adult section at your video store, why not consider renting a video off the internet? There are many sites that offer hassle free adult movie rentals. Chances are, if you pop in a porn flick instead of watching The Notebook again, you'll get a preferable reaction from your man. Plus, he'll be more aroused knowing that you picked it out!

3. Don't Do Lingerie…Do Latex! That's right girls, latex isn't just for the fetish crowd anymore. Lets face it latex is fabulous, slick, glossy and skin tight. Get daring and show him just how kinky you can get.

4. Get Stimulated. Now I know how hard it can be to "get in the mood" at the end of a hard day. Ergo my reasoning for suggesting you give an arousal, or, stimulating gel a try. This isn't lube, this is a gel that only requires a few drops to work. It enhances your sensitivity and has you ready and willing in no time! Every woman I know who has tried it has never gone back describing these gels as giving them the most intense orgasms they have ever had.

5. Write An Erotic Story. Have you ever woken up in the morning completely aroused from a dream you just had? Write it down! Even if you're not a writer make notes: what was said, what happened, how you felt, locations. If you're one of those people who doesn't remember dreams, create characters and have them live out your wildest fantasies. When you're done, be sure to leave your writings somewhere you're sure he'll find them!

6. Go Old School - Literally. Dig out your old high school uniform (or buy one online). Forgo the underwear, replace the knee highs with thigh highs and the penny loafers with stilettos or high heels. Catch him off balance by wearing it around as you cook or do laundry. Be sure to bend over offering a peek every now and then.

7. Buy HIM A Sex Toy. Now I know you're thinking "What!!?" but hear me out. First of all, watching him masturbate can be a huge turn on for many women. Secondly, studies show, the more men masturbate, the easier it becomes to maintain control over an erection. This is good for us, especially when coupled with suggestion number 4 on this list. Can we say multiple orgasms?

8. To Have & Have Knot. Get out the ropes and tie him up in a chair or on the bed. Tease him any way you want. Strip for him, lick him up and down, do anything except give him what he wants. Let him know that you're in charge and he is at the mercy of your feminine wiles. By the time you're ready to give in he'll be so turned on he'll remember the night for weeks. Next time, switch roles.

9. An Evening of Indulgence. Prepare an evening full of aphrodisiacs. Light some scented candles and melt some chocolate. Meet him at the door wearing only pearls and holding two champagne glasses. Spend the evening naked feeding each other chocolate dipped strawberries, raw oysters and drinking champagne or wine.

10. Stop Being Self Conscious. If, while reading this article, you thought to yourself "I could never do that.", then stop! The only thing standing in the way of you withholding your fantasies and desires is you! If you think your husband or boyfriend would never do those things, give it a try first. You'd be amazed at what two people who have submitted to a life of "blah" are capable of surprising each other with. Turn "blah" into "ah".

About the Author:
Aylya Wolfe is the founder of Erotica Nymph.com. An adult site created by women for women featuring: erotic literature, articles, reviews, instructional videos & a sex toy gallery. Visit Erotica Nymph for more tricks to release your inner vixen.

What Hypnosis can do to make your sex life more exciting?

2006-03-21T09:37:00.000-08:00

After you have induced a state of hypnotic self-relaxation concentrate on your specific sexual problem, assuming you have one. Ask yourself a series of questions. In answering them during your self-analysis stage of autohypnosis, try to develop some understanding of your particular sexual maladjustment. You will surprise yourself as to how much self-insight you can gain in this way, which will enable you to find solution to your problem.

When a psychiatrists succeeds in getting his patient to develop insight into his own problem (referred to as “insight therapy) he has practically achieved half the cure. For example, if you are aware of having a faulty attitude about sex because of some negative beliefs or habits, tell yourself that you can and will develop a more positive attitude. If you are living in the past, tormenting yourself with guilt feelings because of some past sexual wrongdoing, accept the self hypnotic suggestion that you are going to close the door to the past, forgive yourself and devote your efforts toward making a better future sexual adjustments.

Some of the questions to ask yourself:

§ Do I have guilt feelings about past sexual experience, which is interfering with my ability to enjoy sexual relationship with my wife or husband?
§ Is sexual disharmony the root cause of my marital unhappiness?
§ As a wife I am I assuming my sexual responsibility as a woman by not frustrating the sexual ego of my husband?
§ As a husband do I give my wife the love and tenderness she needs to make her more responsive sexually?
§ What can I do to bring about an improvement in my sexual relationship with my husband or wife
§ Am I willing to consult a specialist for the remedy of a sexual problem particularly when all efforts at self-help have failed?

Here are the 10 positive suggestions, men and women, which I recommend that you repeat to yourself again –again –and again. The repetition of an idea or thought conditions you to the successful acceptance and application of what you need and to believe. You will be rewarded with sex happiness - essential to good physical and emotional health.

Positive Suggestions For Women:

1. I’m always enjoying my sexual life and having complete sexual fulfillment with my husband.
2. I’m making my love relationship a reciprocal one, realizing that the mutual giving of love is the secret of sex harmony.
3. I’m convinced that a happy sexual life is essential for a happy married life
4. I’m always making my husband a sexually satisfied person
5. I’m reminding myself that four-fifths of all divorces are caused by sexual incompatibility. With my happy love life, I’m convinced my marriage will last forever.

Positive Suggestions for Men

1. I’m convinced that attitude is all-important to understanding and correcting my sexual problem.
2. I’m developing positive attitude and feelings. And the more sex I’ve the more I enjoy it.
3. I’m becoming more and more sexually literate by reading a authoritative manuals, improve my lovemaking technique and increase my capacity for sex satisfaction
4. I’m always positively discussing sexual matters with my wife.
5. I’m intelligent enough to seek competent professional help If I suffer from some deep-seated sexual problem, which I cannot resolve myself,

Remind yourself that you are a better lover than you think you are. Don’t be obsessed with the idea that you don’t have the ability to love. Learn to experience the emotion of love within yourself. You’ll soon discover that you’ll want to and can love someone else. Self love (the normal type) should precede man woman love.

Pradeep Aggarwal is a renowned Hypnosis & NLP guru with career spanning two and half decades. He is also a much sought after speaker and peak performance consultant for organizations and sport teams. Visit Hypnosis Global for free 6 part mini course to learn Self Hypnosis and Personal Transformation.

Got Orgasm? - How To for Female Orgasms

2006-03-20T13:38:00.000-08:00

It’s a sad fact that, in these modern times, somewhere between 10% and 20% of adult women have never experienced an orgasm, and as much as 50% of women don’t orgasm during sex. Sexual and sensual education have advanced to where we now understand much more about the female orgasm, such as the fact that women have two completely different places they can stimulate in order to bring themselves to full satisfaction. Since the vibrator was specifically created to allow women to experience orgasms, it remains the best tool for women to discover what they enjoy, and what stimulates them in the best way to achieve the ultimate O.

The first step, of course, is acquiring a vibrator. Most “adult stores” are pretty cheesy and uncomfortable for women to shop in, which is why the internet is such a popular medium for adult toy shopping. Look at the pictures, read about the materials, and choose something you find attractive and that looks fun. This is the first step on a wonderful journey, so enjoy it!

To have the best experience with your vibrator, give yourself some time with it. Before you even switch it on, get relaxed and turned on. Take a long bubble bath, read an erotic story, get yourself in the mood. For most women, orgasms are as much psychological as they are physiological. If your mind isn't in the right place, your body won't be either.

Get comfortable on your bed, on a rug in front of your fireplace, or just stay in the tub if you’ve purchased a waterproof vibe. Relax, start slow, and get to know your vibrator and your body. Touch different parts of your genitals with your vibrator. Discover what feels good, then keep doing it. Let your arousal build and let nature take its course.

There really isn't any "right" way to use a vibrator or to bring yourself to orgasm. The most important thing to remember is that a vibrator is a tool to help you stimulate yourself; while it can help you reach a climax, it's not an instant orgasm machine. You control it and use it in the way that feels best to you.

Experiment with your vibrator, try its different features, and apply it to different areas of your body to see what the sensations are like. Most women respond to clitoral stimulation, but you may prefer more or less intensity, or more or less direct stimulation. The labia and vulva are also sensitive.

If your vibrator is insertable, give that a try. Some women find penetration and vibration inside the vagina very pleasurable. A vibrator is the best tool you can use to find and stimulate your G-spot. This little node of pleasure is on the front wall of your vagina, a couple of inches in. It can take a few tries to find this spot, and not everyone who finds it actually likes it because of how sensitive it can be. Some women can't find it at all. All of these things are normal, so you just have to see what works for you.

Many women need clitoral rather than vaginal stimulation to actually bring them to orgasm, so if vaginal penetration with your vibrator isn't getting you anywhere, go back to using the vibrator on your clitoris. One technique you can use with a smooth insertable vibrator is to place the tip against your clitoris, then slide the shaft down between your labia, insert the vibrator and slide it into your vagina, and then bring it back up in a reverse stroke, sliding along the clitoris again on the way up.

Once you discover what feels good, keep doing it, relax, and let your arousal build. If you find that the vibrator brings you to the point of climaxing too quickly, back off and try a less intense form of stimulation, or even use your hand for a while and go back to the vibrator. You’ll find that, like many things, the more you practice achieving orgasm, the easier it’ll become.

Orgasm during sex is whole different thing, of course. One of the best things you can do is simply to masturbate often and keep all of your sexual organs in good shape. Drink lots of water and avoid alcohol to keep everything downstairs healthy and lubricated. Do your Kegels – these exercises tone and tighten the muscles you use during sex, heightening the sensations you experience during sex. A set of Smartballs (an updated, silicone-coated version of Ben Wa balls) are a really easy, comfortable way to keep your PC muscles in shape.

If you are like most women, and you orgasm from clitoral stimulation, there are a hundred toys out there you can wear during sex. These vibrators are designed to stimulate your clitoris during sex. Probably the easiest to use are vibrating penis-rings, which your partner wears around his penis and has an attachment where you can insert a vibrating bullet. A nice version of this is the Clearly Sensual Vibrating Cock Ring. Another fun toy you can use during sex is a strap-on clitoral stimulator such as the Venus Butterfly or the Micro Butterfly Arouser. Elastic straps around the waist and/or thighs hold a small vibrator in place while you make love. One of the more unique toys of this nature is the Vibrating Lover’s Thong, which not only vibrates on your clitoris, but has a double row of beads that stimulate your lover as he moves in and out.

Technology and research have opened up a whole new world of possibilities when it comes to female orgasms. Take advantage of what’s available, and you may find yourself fulfilled in ways you never imagined possible.

Vibrators for better orgasms.

The Facts About Romantic Compatibility

2006-03-18T16:20:00.000-08:00

Romantic compatibility in a relationship is such an important thing to both couples. There’s no such romantic relationship if you’re not compatible with your mate. You have to be compatible when it comes to certain vulnerable things so to avoid misunderstanding and trouble dealing with one another. Usually, the astrology has something to say and have to guide you and your mate about the romantic compatibility insight through the different sun signs, for you and for your love, or for a certain someone that you’re having an eye on. Of course, you want to know how compatible you are to your mate before having a relationship with her or him, or before settling down.

It is good to know to whom you are compatible with before you enter a relationship. By this, you will know the best and the worst things that might match love. Others say birth compatibility is important so to create a romantic compatibility in a relationship. Good mates are the only child and youngest; the first-born and youngest; the middle child and the youngest. The gender plays a role too. It is possible to everyone to keep the relationships growing and create a romantic compatibility through understanding even there are ups and downs in a relationship. You must feel comfortable in a relationship that you’re in, because it indicates how much at ease you feel with your mate and that how you can tell how romantic compatibility works between you and the other person. Communication is still a good source of building up a romantic compatibility, where it indicates your ability to understand each other and exchange those sweet talks to each other. A good chemistry that binds you and your mate can make a good sense of romantic compatibility, too.

Romantic compatibility is important in a relationship, combined with love and understanding. Through this, it keeps the flame of passion that’s burning in a relationship. Sometimes, teaming up with those incompatible partners can lead to tensions, broken hearts and a lot of misunderstandings in a relationship, and of course, you don’t want a broken relationship that leaves painful scars in our lives. Romantic compatibility tells about the romantic relationship from a variety of angles. It also tells about the nature of your attraction, or how do you relate to each other. Romantic compatibility can tell you too what are the traits you are both compatible with and the specific dynamics of your chemistry together in building up a romantic compatibility.

Astrologers have been using charts to let couples understand and discover their own horoscope and the horoscope of their potential partner. Most compatibility charts can give more information about your partner and that can tell you to whom you are compatible with. It compares your partner’s individual birth information and gives you insight into your relationship. It compares and contrasts the interrelationship of two separate charts; the professional astrologers can reveal the many ways and many levels that the two people relate with each other. The romantic compatibility chart provides a comparison between two people with regards to all the things that affect their ability to harmonize with each other, from relationship personality and lifestyle to sexuality and passion. This is one of the most comprehensive ways that you can find and that will help you to understand on how you should relate romantically to another person, and how you both can better understand and appreciate each other.

Actually, romantic compatibility in a relationship relies to both couples, and not just to what astrology says. If you think you both find each other compatible and that you love each other, for sure, the romantic compatibility slowly will grow between you and your mate. The astrology just guides and gives you some important details that might help you in choosing your potential mate in the future and certain aspects that will help you enhance your personality and building up the romantic compatibility in a relationship.

Article Source: http://www.thearticlezone.com

How To Spark Romance is a new directory on how to spark romance. From romantic date ideas to recipes you can use to make an evening more exciting, we'll show you how to be romantic.

The Sexual Body Feelings and Erogenous Zones of Men

2006-03-16T12:26:00.000-08:00

There is a widespread misunderstanding by many women, and surprisingly also by many men that boys and men only have sexual feelings in their penis, or even only in their penis head. The reason why many men also carry this misconception is probably that boys often are educated to suppress corporeal sensations and to be hard.

Many erogenous zones in men and boys are best activated when the body is relaxed, and the zones are stimulated in a gentle manner. Gentle stimulation of these zones in a relaxed state can give feelings of pleasure as strong as those in the penis, and can even result in some types of strong orgasmic reactions. Here is a survey of various erotic zones in the male body, and how to stimulate the sensations in these zones. You can stimulate yourself at these zones when masturbating, or the your female or gay partner can do the stimulation work.

THE SCROTUM AND THE TESTICLES
The scrotal skin and the content of the scrotum, including the testicles, are sensitive to erotic stimulation. When stimulating these genital parts, take first hold of the scrotum with your whole hand, warming it inside your hand, and massaging it gently by gripping movements. Warming and handling the scrotum gives feelings in the whole genital region. Stimulation of the scrotum also increases the blood circulation and engorgement of all the genital organs around the scrotum. The testicles are best stimulated by gentle rolling movements with your fingers. Also tickle the scrotal skin with your finger tips. A part of the penis is actually hidden partly inside and partly behind the scrotal sack, by palpating with your finger tips between the testicles or at the side under the scrotum; you can massage this part of the penis. A sharp massage with your finger tips gives the most intense sensations to this hidden root of the penis.

THE BREAST NIPPLES AND THEIR SURROUNDINGS
The nipples of a man are important erogenous zones, and a man has tits just as a woman, although the tits of a man are smaller and flatter that those of a woman. Actually a man has all the structures that a woman has in his breasts, but they are not developed to have a milk producing capacity. This means that a man’s breasts have the same erotic capacity as the tits of woman. A man's nipples also have an erective capacity. They rise and get hard upon stimulation. When stimulating a man’s breasts, take hold of the breast with your whole hand, warming it inside your hand, and massaging it gently by gripping movements. To stimulate the nipples, massage gently around the nipples with a finger tip. Also squeeze the nipples with your fingers, varying the intensity from the very gentle nip to some harder pressure.

THE REGION BETWEEN THE PENIS AND THE ANUS
The visible penis is actually a part of a larger body beginning at the prostate region just in front of the anus, and reaches to the tip of the penis. The urethra also goes through this structure. The parts between your legs will engorge when you are sexually exited just as the penis, and when it engorges, the region bulges out between the legs. Upon mechanical stimulation, this area gives intense pleasurable feelings. You can stimulate this area by squeezing it between your fingers, pressing down against the urethra or massaging up and down along the urethra. You should change between gentle and a little harder handling, as these two manners give rise to different types of feelings.

THE NAVEL AND THE BLADDER REGION
The navel is an erotic point, and so are the structures in the middle of the belly between the navel and the penis. This structure contains a groove between the belly muscles. The structures in this groove are very sensuous, the so called linea alba. The naval can be stimulated by sticking a finger into it, and by tickling with your finger deep down in the navel. Also here you should alternate between light, gentle, slow tickling, and harder sharper tickling. This stimulation give sensations that radiate out form the navel to the surroundings, and spreads downwards to the tip of your penis, giving a very funny feeling in your penis. The groove between the navel and the penis, you can stimulate by massaging up and down with the tip of your fingers.

THE BUTTOCKS AND ANAL SURROUNDINGS
The inner sides of the buttocks in the natal cleft give rise to deep erotic feelings with a very special intimate valor. Move your fingers up and down between the buttocks from the spine to the opposite end between the legs, and gently massage the inner side of each buttock with your finger tips. You can also concentrate your attention to the region deep inside the cleft very near the anus and tickle these most intimate points with your finger tips. Further you can stretch each buttock to the side so that the butt cleft opens, and the rectal opening is also stretched. The result of these manipulations is erotic sensations that radiate to the whole pelvic area, flow deep inside you and rise upwards along your spine.

THE ANUS AND THE OUTER RECTUM
The anal region is in many ways the real central of feelings in a man or boy. By stimulating this area in the proper ways, you can create a process that spread waves of intense feelings of joy, pleasure and ecstasy up through the whole body, partly forward to the genitals and belly region, and partly along the spine up to the neck. You best stimulate the rectal opening by very gentle circulatory movements with your finger tips. Alternate between these circulatory movements and the stimulation of the insides of the buttocks. You can also stick a smeared finger into the anal opening and stimulate by gentle movements in and out. By sticking your finger further inside, you can gently massage the inside walls of the anus. By adding some pressure, your stimulation reaches deep into the tissue around the rectum. All these stimulation give rise to profound feelings radiating to the whole body.

THE DEEP PART OF THE RECTUM
The perhaps most intimate and sensitive zone of a man, is the deep part of the rectum. This zone can be reached by gay intercourse or with a dildo or some other long object. When inserting something in the anus to stimulate this zone, it is necessary to be very cautious so that the intestinal walls are not hurt. However, this zone is so sensitive that even the gentlest stimulation gives an immense depth of feelings, both of physical and psychological kind. You can stimulate this zone by gently and gradually by inserting a thin smeared dildo, and when fully inserted, very gently move it a little in and out, a little around, or press gently to different sides with the dildo. The more you relax, and the longer you do this stimulation, the deeper and more intense will the feelings grow.

THE PROSTATE:
The prostate lies just in front of the anus and the urethra goes through it. This gland produces much of the viscous fluid in the semen. You can stimulate it from the outside by pressing somewhat firmly with your fingers inward just in front of the anus. There is a deepening in this area, just like a little vagina. Press your finger into this groove and a little forward. You can also stimulate the prostate by inserting your finger into the anus and massage the prostate through the front wall of the anus. The massage releases prostate fluid. Feeling the fluid coming through your urethra and dripping out through you pee-hole, add to the physical excitement. Also the prostate have its own sexual feelings, and prostate massage combined with anal stimulation can induce a form of orgasm that has a much deeper psychological and ecstatic impact than ordinary penile orgasm.

Article Source: http://www.articledashboard.com

From Knut Holt - K-holt2@online.no. Knut Holt is an internet marketer and author with a focus on health items and erotism. Please go here for health information, products to increase sexual pleasure and natural medicines against many common diseases. www.abicana.com Free to reprint with the author's name and link.

What Makes Modern Women Happy In Marriage May Surprise You

2006-03-15T11:05:00.000-08:00

Emotional engagement is what women crave most in a marriage according to a survey published in the journal Social Forces. Money, division of household chores and other factors were all less important to women. How affectionate and understanding their husbands were, and how much quality time they spent with their husbands, were on top of nearly all of the women's lists.

Based on survey responses, the researchers say that women who don't work outside the home themselves, and whose husbands earn the lion's share of income, report the highest levels of marital happiness. Which is in stark contrast to other academic studies that have suggested just the opposite.

Based on survey responses, the researchers say that women who don't work outside the home themselves, and whose husbands earn the lion's share of income, report the highest levels of marital happiness. According to the researchers, it seems that women who have more traditional attitudes (taking care of the home and family, men taking the lead in earning etc.) are happier in their marriages and report more affection and understanding from their husbands.

"Regardless of what married women say they believe about gender, they tend to have happier marriages when their husband is a good provider - provided that he is also emotionally engaged," said University of Virginia sociologist W. Bradford Wilcox. "I was very surprised to find that even egalitarian-minded women are happier when their marriages are organized along more [traditionally] gendered lines."

Kegel Exercises

2006-03-13T13:01:00.000-08:00

Kegel exercises, named after Dr. Arnold Kegel of UCLA, help strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor.

Pelvic floor muscles act like a hammock and support the uterus, bowel and bladder. They also protect the entrances to the vagina, urethra and anus. They must be strong to prevent leaking, incontinence and prolapse (the slipping out of place of an organ).

Because of pregnancy, age, excess weight or neglect (i.e. lack of Kegal exercise), many women suffer from weak pelvic floor muscles. The result is distress or incontinence when they laugh, cough or sneeze.

Therefore, Kegels are recommended for all women and it’s never too early or too late to begin doing them, but the sooner the better.

For most women, the pelvic floor muscle is easy to locate. It’s the same muscle you contract when you’re trying to hold back from passing urine. You can isolate the muscle next time you urinate by stopping the flow when it first begins.

Once you’ve located the muscle, the basic Kegel exercise is to simply breathe deeply and slowly while you alternately tighten and relax the vaginal muscle (as if you were stopping the flow of urine). Do this up to 200 times a day. Be sure, though, not to contract your stomach or back muscles, nor move or tighten your leg or buttock muscles.

Since no one knows you’re doing Kegels, they can be done just about anywhere anytime. So make them a daily habit. Do them while sitting at business meetings, working on the computer, watching TV, washing dishes, standing in line at the grocery or brushing your teeth. You can even do Kegals during sexual intercourse. The point is to “just do it.”

Doing Kegels has many benefits. They’ll help eliminate embarrassing leaking when laughing or coughing, help prevent incontinence as you age and make pregnancy and child birth a lot easier, minimizing tears and episiotomies. Last but not least, Kegels will also enhance sexual pleasure for both you and your partner.

Moss Greene makes it easy for you to look and feel better. Visit her site at http://nutrition.bellaonline.com to learn the simple things you can do for yourself right now. Be sure to subscribe to her free newsletter - you don't want to miss a thing!

Intimacy, What Is It Really?

2006-03-13T12:19:00.000-08:00

Simply put, intimacy is more than sex or making love. It's more than the physical or even emotional connection you feel with your partner. Intimacy involves a soul connection between two people.

While instant chemistry can be exciting and thrilling, the chemistry that makes marriages work usually grows over time. This special chemistry between two people involves excellent communication and self sacrifice more than physical attraction. It takes trust, patience, and willingness to talk and to listen.

With greater intimacy, married partners can have a more satisfying and fulfilling romantic life. They can learn what pleases each other. For example, your wife may not like flowers all of the time. She may desire a massage, or a well cooked meal. Or your husband may not want the latest fashionable sweater. It’s a clean car or your full attention, he desires most.

Being able to express what you want is important and genuinely listening to your spouse are key factors in building an intimate romance. Unfortunately, these skills aren’t fully developed in most marriages, so as the saying goes: “Married people can be some of the loneliest people in the world.”

What generally inhibits partners from building deeper relationships with each other?

Cary Barbor writes, "One partner (often the woman) will fight to break down defenses and create more intimacy while the other (often the man) will withdraw and create distance. So the "dance of intimacy" follows: If the woman gets too close, the man pulls back. If he moves too far away, she pursues, and so on." -- Finding Real Love - Intimacy and Alienation, Psychology Today (Jan 2001)

She also comments that we often try to recreate and fulfill our childhood desires through our marriage partners. We’re attracted to people because they remind us of our parents (OR what we wanted our parents to be). When we realize that they are too much like our mother or our father, we become frustrated, communication breaks down, and we build self-protecting “walls”.

So how can you grow in intimacy with your marriage partner? Here are some keys to unlock the mystery of deeper intimacy.

Determine what you really need out of the relationship. Is friendship more important than financial stability? Or must the bills be paid on time even if your spouse doesn’t have much time with you? Can you sacrifice long conversations for more affectionate behavior? Or do you need to talk things out no matter how long it takes? The list can go on.

Determine what your spouse really needs. At first your husband or wife may be reluctant to share what he or she needs. They may have never really thought about it in an organized fashion. Maybe it would help to have him/her write down his/her desires when he/she is relaxed. Some suggestions: do a really nice deed for your partner like, drawing a warm bath or cooking a nice meal. Then ask them to take the time to think about what they need in the relationship.

Make an effort to change your behavior everyday. If your partner needs more space, draw back a little. If they need more of your time, tune out any distractions and pay attention to your spouse. You may start with fifteen or twenty minutes with no TV, phone, computer, radio, etc. and then gradually increase your time to one to two hours of uninterrupted time per day.

Finally, take care of yourself. If you are frazzled, you won’t be a fun person to be around. Make sure that you have your own “me” time everyday where you can pray, meditate, and take care of your personal needs. Whether it’s writing in a journal, reading a good book, giving yourself a manicure, or just vegging out, do it. You and your spouse will be happy you did.

About The Author: Keishia Lee-Louis is the Executive Editor of http://www.Married4Good.com (November 2005). Her work has appeared on iVillage.com, BibleResourceCenter.com, and in many other publications. Currently, she's writing a book on marriage and relationships which will be published in Spring 2006. To read more of her work see http://married4good.blogspot.com